Coaches: dumbest things your athletes have said????

"I think that running over 30 miles is too much." - Male, xc, hs junior.

"Is it okay if I just miss practice all the time and still run on the team?"

Just two of my favorites

Friday, at the first outdoor meet of the season, one of my injured runners saw a friend from another team struggling in the mile and said, "man, Dylan is having a rough season." That cracked me up. I responded, "you know he is only two laps into the first race of the season, right?..."

Kid shows up to invitational with a McDonald's bag in hand. "My mom wanted me to eat something. I got mc nuggets. I'll be alright."

Cramps in race and pukes.

I said this as a freshman, why do we have to go for 5 mile runs when our longest race is 2 miles?

I heard one kid say "Can i smoke weed and still be a good runner?" f*cking ingrate.

We should do cross fit.

"I have to quit running to get a part time job to save up for college"

"I'd rather be a little overtrained than a little undertrained"-- said by a college athlete who went on to chronically overtrain.

Several: had a gal come into my office "coach the trainer say I may have a pelvic stress fracture" so I ask "is it an over use injury and her reply "yes"

She was a vaulter with a rep and did not have the training ethic to get a stress fracture

"Coach can my boyfriend drive me to the meet?"

Me to one athlete "look you you are not doing well with school, track drinking and a girlfriend something has to give.
Kid replies: Coach thanks for everything but I am going to go get drunk and F%$# my girlfriend."

How many laps is a 400. At an outdoor track.....

"I start out not too fast, then kick it in when I get to 150 to go"

- just prior to running the finals of the 200m at the state meet.

I'm not making this up.
1999 or 98 a girl xc runner asks me if she "can get pregnant from anal sex"
I just walked away.

"I'm going to make it to nationals".

"You see, I don't have to train, I'm really good in races."

Or this:
I'm too nervous to run because it's my first race ever, I'll run next week.
He then quit so he could sit the bench in football.

My favorite that I have heard kids from a school nearby say to their coach.
"Why don't we run more miles?"-runner
"We don't want to burn out before State."-coach
"We never make it to State."-runner

What a dumb runner for questioning the coach for having the same philosophy every single year that fails.

I'm a sprinter.

Warming up will only tire me out for my race

Send the team on a 50 minute run. Kid always comes back in 45 minutes. Keeps claiming he is just faster than everyone else.

Runner told me the following, "I don't think you know much about running."

He said this after I told him that running 20 miles a week and then playing 2 hours a day of basketball wasn't going to make him a very fast cross country runner. Later in the season he got a stress fracture and his parents said it was my fault for making him run to much.


Keep in mind that over the last 10 years I've won 2 state championships, 8 regional championships, and 10 conference championships.


Later in the season the parent also said I had no clue what I was doing and that I had gotten luck with all the wins over the last decade. I guess a certain attitude runs in a family.