Follow up to worst coach: Dumbest thing you've heard a coach say regarding running?

Coach: how long did it take you to run up the hill?

Athlete: 46 seconds

Coach: must be a tad over 400m

Not dumb, but funny my senior yr in college getting ready for a 10k my coach got a calendar out and when asked why he said it was to time me

in high school watching my teammate with not-the-greatest form doing high jump

coach: you looked like a fish with your arms moving like that

us: but fish don't have arms....

My college coach told me that doing form drills would take 20 seconds off my mile PR. He also had a calisthenics routine that he would have us do, that he also assured us would take 20 seconds off anyone's mile PR.

runner boi wrote:

habs wrote:

He probably meant that the coach had 50 years of coaching experience (not necessarily coaching OP).

+1

Why would someone delete habs' post?????????

My track coach insists that strength training is useless for distance runners!!! Must be why his son is constantly injured!

Also had a football coach that would 10 times a game scream "PLAY FOOTBALL!! THATS NOT FOOTBALL!!" Whenever something wrong would happen

And we all know the wrestling coach that just screams "SQUEEEEEZE!!!" and "HALF! HALF! HALF!"

An idiot PA coach who unfortunately is still coaching said "if a runner has enough energy to run a cool-down run, then he didn't run hard enough in the race. He should only have enough energy to walk a cool-down." Also has his track team do 2 all-out 300's and 2 all-out 600's as the only fast work they ever do, with 15 minutes of lying down and resting between each of the 4 efforts. No repeats at race pace, no striders, no hills, no tempo runs, no long runs. Utter tool. Continues to ruin distance runners for over a quarter century and always has some excuse for why they run poorly and get injured. So many more stupid quotes from this guy I could provide but this post is long enough and most of the dumb things he says others have already said in this string.

I had a coach, who was also a basketball coach (his real job), who got mad at me for warming up before practice. Our warmup consisted of a .3 mile loop, so I'd started running 20 minutes before practice on my own. After that he lengthened our warmup to a loop around campus, maybe a mile.

Another time he got mad at me for running doubles. And for running at night.

We'd do endless loops around 7 holes of a golf course a lot of days. I guess thats not bad, just boring.

One year, the first day of practice was a 7 mile all out time trial. Would have been ok if we'd been forewarned.

I guess this should all have gone in the worst coaches thread.

My H.S. coach: an old college football player/sprinter told me he took the job because no one else wanted it. Said he doubted he could help me because I ran too much. He was right. His assistant, also a football coach would always yell: "work the arms, work the arms," when we got tired.

And yet the great coach Billy Squires was full of whacky, yet oddly insightful advice, to wit: "Running is a simple sport. You don't need all the zoopy zoopy."

"alan, are you gonna listen to your college coach or are you gonna listen to me?"

"alan, are you gonna listen to your professional coach or me?"

"alan, are you gonna listen to Salazar or me?"

"alan, are you gonna listen to her or me?"

"alan, are you listening?"

"is anyone listening to me anymore?"

A track fan wrote:

Over head at a HS track meet,

Coach:Charles Barkley can run faster then you

Athlete:You know he is a professional athlete

Coach:Well I guess athletes can be fat

Athlete:F*ck You

All that over oral sex

Edward Teach wrote:

One year, the first day of practice was a 7 mile all out time trial. Would have been ok if we'd been forewarned.

I have the coach who is evil enough to get a kick out of doing that. He has a lot of quotability, and consistently says things that make you just go huh? But overall he's a good coach, and really cares. My biggest pet peeve, is he'll be on a great streak, giving great workouts, us running well, then he'll suddenly have this unattainable or ridiculous workout. Sometimes, it'll be 10x100s day before a meet because he decides we need to develop foot speed, or one workout was, 2000m, 800m, 1600m, 1200m, 400m, or something similar, with everything being at a pace that was tough but made sense, until the 1200m was at a pace faster than the 800m, and faster than our mile race pace.

30:45XC1978 wrote:

My Coach in College (Russ Rogers) told me to run 50MPW over the summer heading into my senior year X-C season, even though I told him I ran 115MPW the year before and had a great X-C season. He told me to run 50MPW that summer anyway. Had a lousy season it took me all the way to NC's to get anywhere near fit.

I think you were both morons

My college coach (who had no clue about middle/long distance running) based everything on "pace". By that, I mean, we had a group of 4:13 to 4:20 milers, training for sub 4:10. Coach would hand us a ladder workout, up and down to 2000 meters. We were fine hitting "pace" on the 200's, the 400's & 800's, but when we (obviously) could not run the 1600 or 2000 at sub 4:10 pace he comes unglued and argues that if we ever want to be under 4:10 in a race, we need to do it in the workout - it's not about training to get to that time, it's about running that time (his view) -- Same coach who had us at 35 miles a week during cross country with no long runs over 7 miles (ever! we raced 10K mind you) it was all about running 32 min 10K pace for 5-7 miles in our runs so we knew what pace to run in the races.. yeah, we pretty much sucked.

We got a new coach senior year of college, total fatty, with no background in running besides coaching at a tech hs. The AD didn't care about the program had tried cutting it two years before but was blocked by title XI. He said there is no point running any longer than the distance your running and said he wanted us only to run 20 miles a week for cross country and focus on lifting & swimming. He outlawed the guys team from running with no shirts on and tried to outlaw us running on the roads we had been running on for four years because he thot we shud only run where he could see us. Being treated as 12 year olds at the age of 21 was very frustrating. Our best runner was kicked off the team for challenging the coaches training. He still ran a race against us tho and beat every1, very much once a runneresque. I found out the coach had tried blocking him from entering as an unattached runner, total egomainiac. Once a new ad got hired he was quickly fired and they have a quality coach and are producing results. Good riddance to him.

My coach used to tell us to sharpen our elbows before big races. It was so we wouldn't get boxed out but it was a funny thing he used to say.

My coach, with 20 years of "experience", says "you can run the first 15 seconds of a race all out with no effect because it's free time!" And has also kicked someone off the team for just being in the weight room since we are not allowed to do strength training.

A freshman asked our coach how to run a 400 and his response was "run until you see God."

Here are some other gems fro the same coach called any overweight runner/shotputter a "tub-shitter"

Handed a distance kid a small balloon and said "its a condom for you."

Called his favorite kids "feral animals"

Coach: Wheres (kid on team)?

Me: in the bathroom taking a...

Coach: changing his pad, yeah thats what i thought. you can tell him i said that.

"It's a sprint, man. Then the guy with the biggest balls at the end wins."

Viagra, that's what you all need, bunch of softies"

Also threatened to kill kids with javelins, or leave them at Reggie if they did poorly.

My HS coach told some underperformers at practice that if they didn't ratchet it up a notcn, they would not compete at the next meet.

His exact words-"I'll leave your sorry asses home to watch Doogie Howser. You can read about the results in the paper."

Actually a great coach, and quite quotable. 25 years later, I still drop some of his bombs in everyday life.