Family vs Career vs Running

runnerwhoprofesses wrote:

Running should be viewed as a necessary hobby by the 99% on here who aren't pros. Those who disdain hobbyjoggers are kidding themselves.

Striving for balance is laudable, as B annister knew.

Definitely something to think about! I also have to think about what is "sustainable" in my life. Balance should make everything better. I think I need running to get my mind focused and get refreshed. I will definitely admit that many nights I just want to drink wine and watch netflix and go on facebook. It doesn't take that much time to carve out 5 -7 miles a day during the week and then 10-15 on Saturday or Sunday. Arghh but I still want to PR and win races, haha. I know that one day I will not be able to, so I will just have to run anyway, right?

(And btw, my kid just went down for a nap, and well, it's against the law to leave him to go running, for those of you that wonder how I have the opportunity to post here rather than run! ;) )

disclaimer: i grew up in the midwest an dived there 25 years.I moved from Chicago to the Bay Area in California about 5 years ago. I can run in a shorts and t-shirt any day of the year and the attitude toward work and life is different here. Every boss I've had understands I need to take a long weekend to go surfing, prepare for a race, or go on a backcountry backpacking trip. In fact, my bosses usually leave for the weekend before i do to go on their adventures or family trips. The cost of living is higher but you get paid way more and the ability to live your life and not be a "good dedicated employee" and then hibernate for 5 months doesn't exist here. it doesn't make much sense unless you make the move, but now i see the midwestern/east-coast way of life as completely "settling" for a lower standard and ridiculous in the way people allow their life to be less good than it could be. from my perspective, it's kind of pathetic sometimesit's a better, different pace out here and the only place i've been able to succeed with running, family, and work simultaneously. people say they like the changing of the seasons, snow, etc, but you can get that on the west coast whenever you want. winter is bullish*t, go to tahoe/mammoth, cascades, mt hood, rainier if you want snow and beautiful winter. or go to the beach on the same day. or just fly home for thanksgiving and christmas and get your fill and get the hell out so you can do your morning run in shorts and then easily bike to work instead of driving.my true advice is: just look at your situation honestly - anything is easy to change if it truly matters to you, you'll do it. otherwise, it simply isn't a priority and you know it.

run the town wrote:

All points taken.

I might have an easier time when the snow melts and I can use the baby jogger again.

Do you NEED to work?

Stuff is only stuff. Unless you cannot make ends meet without working consider cutting back on some of the things that two incomes provide. It sounds as if you were very happy at home the first 6 months when you were not working.

And remember... your marriage is VERY important too.

not sure what your commute is like, but I've gotten great mileage from commuting to work by running. i take public transit back so not doable for everybody obviously. if it's a short commute you can run both ways.

I do follow a blog of a woman that has 3 small perfect children, ran a fall OTQ, runs 80 miles a week, and works 45 hours plus commute a week. She is never injured, has had beyond remarkable running progression, and is perfect in every way except....she just happens to have a "sluggish thyroid" even though she has washboard abs and perfect hair. So she gets the juice. I guess that is the modern answer so go track down the right doctor.

run the town wrote:

And yeah...no, my boss certainly doesn't give a @#$% about having a family. He just doesn't. His own kids do not speak to him if that says anything.

With more experience and gaining a reputation (people know people in my field) I might open up some more options for myself.

Then get out of that job. Period. Start planning a transition today. There's no might and no time for maybes with kids. Later on, it serves as an example of doing and caring for yourself and others. As another post mentions, do you *need* the money?

Also a blogger with 3 "perfect" kids running lots of hours and a job, kids are being sacrificed for the illusion of "having it all." A nanny is not the same as parent(s).

you can handle all 3, but you may need a treadmill and a spouse who does his share of the child raising. With young children, you can interrupt a run and meet their needs, then get back on the treadmill. You'll probably need to cut out travel completely until the kid is at least 10 or so. And you'll have to cut out drinking. The answer is just do it. Buy a treadmill. Run every available second if you have to, knowing some runs will be interrupted, and screw everything else.

Sounds like you have a horrible life. Why the hell did you feel it necessary to have a kid if work and running is so important to you?

Hi. I have two kids, aged 3 yrs and 4 months. My wife isn't a runner, so she doesn't 'get it', but she knows and respects that I need time to do my thing.

I've had to be honest about my priorities and dial back the training and competition. Here's my two cents:

1. Being able to train on your commute is HUGE for me. If I couldn't do this it would be game over.

2. Embrace cross training as a fall back. If all else fails, it's a 20 minute circuit indoors. It's not ideal, but better than nothing. Run as much as you can, when you can.

3. Look after your spouse! Keeping them sweet is key!

4. Be creative with your time and plan ahead. I usually have at least a week's training in my head (including fall back options) at all times.

5. Don't give up! Having kids and being fit feels great! It's hard but worth it. Good luck.