How is it that so many people happen to meet the love of their life in their mid-late 20s?

Demographer wrote:

That seems awfully coincidental to me. You'd think it would be more evenly distributed throughout the adult ages, since the chances of any two people being compatible enough for marriage are pretty low overall.

Getting married and staying married are two different things entirely.

Baa baa.

If you want an actual answer, I personally believe that there is no true "one in a trillion" soulmate for each person, but rather a pool of people who would be sufficiently comparable to become happily married. Most people get married in their late 20's because that's when they are looking for a spouse. A girl who was in your kindergarten class may be just as compatible a spouse as your current wife, but you'd never know this because you weren't looking to get married at 5.

Social pressure says get married mid-late 20's. Guys can, of course, be early 30's. Women do have that biological clock thing.

See image:

http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2013/10/15/relationshipstrategies/myth-plummeting-female-sexual-market-value/attachment/smv/

The previous image was the wrong one. My mistake. Here is the actual one:

http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2013/09/27/relationshipstrategies/women-like-older-men/attachment/desirability-1/

Demographer wrote:

That seems awfully coincidental to me. You'd think it would be more evenly distributed throughout the adult ages, since the chances of any two people being compatible enough for marriage are pretty low overall.

Very few people ever meet "the love of their life". Indeed, the very concept of "the love of one's life" is mostly a fairy tale that for some reason many people believe (to their own detriment).

It's called settling and/or panic. Biological clock and people assuming there's something wrong with you for not having a ring on your finger on one side, mom won't stop asking why you haven't given her grand kids on the other.

Sdvsfrsevwrf1 wrote:

The previous image was the wrong one. My mistake. Here is the actual one:

http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2013/09/27/relationshipstrategies/women-like-older-men/attachment/desirability-1/

This is the most correct answer. Getting married is basically a game of musical chairs. Your best window to pair up is limited and then it is a numbers game that slowly works against you.

Likewise, besides the absolute numbers being against you, it's even worse because all the good ones are taken. Nothing left but to accept you are a misfit toy and consider settling for another misfit toy.

real answer wrote:

If you want an actual answer, I personally believe that there is no true "one in a trillion" soulmate for each person, but rather a pool of people who would be sufficiently comparable to become happily married. Most people get married in their late 20's because that's when they are looking for a spouse. A girl who was in your kindergarten class may be just as compatible a spouse as your current wife, but you'd never know this because you weren't looking to get married at 5.

This.

I was told as a kid that there is ONE person out there for everyone, and so I grew up thinking finding that ONE person was going to be an impossible task. I later realized that idea is ridiculous. There are tons of people out there for everyone, each with their own strengths and weaknesses. A person might be just as happy with one as with another.

Because they don't wait to meet the other love of their life in their 30's or 40's. Women are disparate to get married in their 20's. That's what you're meeting.

That's why the divorce rate is so high.

the other thing to consider is that love is a decision.. once married you can choose to love your spouse, which will make him/her the love of your life..

lust and associated excitements on the other hand may or may not continue.

--

"Marriage: When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part." George Bernard Shaw

Sdvsfrsevwrf1 wrote:

The previous image was the wrong one. My mistake.

So nice of you to not blame anyone else.

As an old person, I think it's because your 20s are a time when you truly feel real passion about things, women, politics, heck even sports teams. Listen to college age or recent college grads discuss issues, they CARE -deeply!

I think it has something to do with brain chemistry. That's just my theory, no idea if it's at all true.

Demographer wrote:

That seems awfully coincidental to me. You'd think it would be more evenly distributed throughout the adult ages, since the chances of any two people being compatible enough for marriage are pretty low overall.

How so? From a purely statistical viewpoint, people who have "met the love of their life"* are out of the dating pool, so you would expect marriage rates to be at a peak early in the marriage eligible years and declining as people leave the pool.

* - "compatible enough for marriage" is far more apt

Mid to late 20s is about when most people finally grow up. Most relationships people get into when they are in college or just out of college crash and burn because people still have yet to grow up. People expect to have everything their way, hate compromising, keep score of every little dispute like you would with a brother or sister, and so on. Later in your twenties, you begin to realize that you can either continue to act like a kid or you can grow up and make compromises, back down from arguments, be happy by making someone else happy, etc.

EZ10Miler wrote:

As an old person, I think it's because your 20s are a time when you truly feel real passion about things, women, politics, heck even sports teams. Listen to college age or recent college grads discuss issues, they CARE -deeply!

I think it has something to do with brain chemistry. That's just my theory, no idea if it's at all true.

Do you realize that you just posted something mature and nuanced? Did not claim to know all the answers, indeed pointed out that you did not know "if (your hypothesis) is at all true"? And didn't flame any other poster?

Are you sure that you are on the correct forum?

EZ10Miler wrote:

As an old person, I think it's because your 20s are a time when you truly feel real passion about things, women, politics, heck even sports teams. Listen to college age or recent college grads discuss issues, they CARE -deeply!

I think it has something to do with brain chemistry. That's just my theory, no idea if it's at all true.

I would not be surprised if brain chemistry had something to do with it. I'm 28, never cared much for being in long-term relationships, but something inside me is screaming "you need to know someone deeply, care for them, love them, and stick around for awhile, perhaps building something together." I'm looking for someone deeply compatible, rather than just have fun with.

As cheesy as that sounds, it feels a lot better to accept that idea than just aim for another fling.

Because they feel pressure to get married at that age before they start to believe they can't anymore; so they just settle with whoever they're currently with, despite them being no different to the ones before.