Ten years ago we met as college freshman. We built an invincible friendship that year. We grew up in similar cities, had a lot of common interests, knew a lot of the same people so naturally we hit it off. There were so many parties, nights on the town, hanging out on weekends, late night pizza, etc. It was the time of my life and an awesome friendship which lasted for 8 or so years!
Two years ago he got married seemingly out of desperation. To start things off he hasn't always made the best decisions with women. He and the wife split up for a lengthy period of time before marriage because she cheated with not one but two men in his bed at the same time in a place he was paying for and she was being allowed to stay at. All while he was traveling for work. He was only out-of-state for two days. (True story) That would have been IT for me. What pressured him into getting back together and eventually married after such a humiliation? Someone he considered influential must have told him an old wives tale that single, 30+ year olds have something wrong with them. I don't know who that exact person was but he was very fixated on avoiding that stigma and mentioned it several times in the months before proposing. (True story)
I am calling it quits because it is very hard to watch him not only limit but also destroy his life with needless burdens. I'm not alone in questioning his decision making and forethought. On top of that he's turned into a total burden to hang out with too. His wife no longer works and has given up on finding a job while he works two jobs to bring in the most income he can. In turn she spends a lot of it and later complains that he doesn't make enough money. She tells him to his face she wishes she never married him. His infant daughter has major vision problems which has required bucco bucks in surgeries and out-of-pocket medications. His widowed mother-in-law tags along with everything they do socially. She is literally drunk all the time when not at work. No exaggeration. She shit herself in the back of his new car a couple months ago when she was passed out after a Sunday afternoon of drinking. (True story)
How does it effect our friendship? He's obviously quite unhappy all the time. I'm not sure he recognizes that himself but everyone else notices. He's much more condescending and get's extremely jealous of any advancement his peers experience. His personality renders him as socially awkward when he interacts in larger groups. Why do my other friends find him annoying? He tends to blurt out rude things without thinking about how others might receive that comment. I sometimes look over at him when he does that and wonder "why would you ever even say that?" He never used to be like this! I swear!
Very hard to feel sorry for him when he chose his own destiny here. In retrospect he seems to be a severely misguided victim of his own stupidity. In my opinion, if his wife isn't cheating on him already cheating on him she will soon! Sad but adios! I can't take it anymore.