All in your 40s/50s: Has your cohort blown up as many marriages as mine?

Where in LA suburb? just curious ... lived there (SFV)

37 ... not yrs ol but married - yep I'm in geezer demographic

never any screaming or swearing or ray ricing - not even in our imagination

enough kids - 7

all married

most setting up camp too far away for me

enough $ but not 'wealthy'

we know how to 'give' to each other

Could be luck but I think more of a wise choice

oh - and I come from a family where I am the only non-divorced sib

I am mindful of the single source case study mentioned and know both long time married and multiple divorce peeps

no one wrote:

Where in LA suburb? just curious ... lived there (SFV)

37 ... not yrs ol but married - yep I'm in geezer demographic

never any screaming or swearing or ray ricing - not even in our imagination

enough kids - 7

all married

most setting up camp too far away for me

enough $ but not 'wealthy'

we know how to 'give' to each other

Could be luck but I think more of a wise choice

oh - and I come from a family where I am the only non-divorced sib

I am mindful of the single source case study mentioned and know both long time married and multiple divorce peeps

You Jewish?

Or Catholic?

of the extremely conservative/orthodox variety?

Wait... you might be

The Brady Bunch!

Why Yes! you are correct - very correct ... I might be!

HouseHusband wrote:

Yo i know dis sounds kinda flakey any you old-timers marry a rich woman? Having to win the bread adds a lotta wurk. I want to work on my running and find a woman to sweep me off my feet and take care of bidness. That way if u get divorced, you get half the goods and come out ahead this 2 me I always thought is the best possible win-win strategy.

-The Young, poor, lonely, tired runner

You sound pathetic. Not in a bad way. More like in a record-breaking, mind-blowing, holy shit way

NoName wrote:

most people I know are divorced (including myself) ... Marriages does not work anymore,It's usually the women that initiates the divorce, because they rarely have nothing to loose. I tell my son, please never get married and don't have kids it will ruin you.

Total BS. The divorce rate has been dropping for twenty years.

MilkyPants wrote:

Unfortunately, a lot of woman marry out of selfishness, while a lot of men marry out of desperation.

I am starting to think/learn there is a lot of truth to this.

wuppertal wrote:

I grew up upper middle class in a Los Angeles suburb. Solid high school, mostly prosperous parents. Not rich, but very comfy.

Among my peers I know of 2 marriages that have lasted 15+ years. Maybe 3. And mine is one of them.

And probably 20 divorces plus a few never marrieds.

Is that normal? WTF is wrong with us?

Like hangs with like.

ParentsBasementRunner wrote:

no one wrote:

Where in LA suburb? just curious ... lived there (SFV)

37 ... not yrs ol but married - yep I'm in geezer demographic

never any screaming or swearing or ray ricing - not even in our imagination

enough kids - 7

all married

most setting up camp too far away for me

enough $ but not 'wealthy'

we know how to 'give' to each other

Could be luck but I think more of a wise choice

oh - and I come from a family where I am the only non-divorced sib

I am mindful of the single source case study mentioned and know both long time married and multiple divorce peeps

You Jewish?

Or Catholic?

of the extremely conservative/orthodox variety?

Wait... you might be

The Brady Bunch!

I think Carol Brady was divorced.

Your pain is obvious and I'm sorry for that. I would not judge you harshly for being divorced.

With that said, my parents were not divorced, but if my father had ever said anything like this to me, I'd have thought he hated my mother. What's worse, I'd have thought he hated me.

People who wait until they are older are more likely to have marriage success. You don't really start to figure out who you really or what you really want until you are over 30 in most cases.

wuppertal wrote:

I grew up upper middle class in a Los Angeles suburb. Solid high school, mostly prosperous parents. Not rich, but very comfy.

Among my peers I know of 2 marriages that have lasted 15+ years. Maybe 3. And mine is one of them.

And probably 20 divorces plus a few never marrieds.

Is that normal? WTF is wrong with us?

“You [we] live in a deranged age - more deranged than usual, because despite great scientific and technological advances, man has not the faintest idea of who he is or what he is doing.”

― Walker Percy, Lost in the Cosmos: The Last Self-Help Book

I think this speaks some truth on the the OP's point. We no longer verify the meaning and substance of things - in this case marriage. What is marriage (the meaning, the purpose)? Do I find this to be true?

I am still seeking this out...

NoName wrote:

I tell my son, please never get married and don't have kids it will ruin you.

Does your son then say "so dad, you are saying I ruined your life?" From the outside it sounds like that conversation could get ugly quickly and lead him into therapy.

here in the great state of Virginia most marriages I know are thriving. this is from faith, good community, and HARD work.... marriage is not easy! What works for me is always being honest, especially when it comes to finances. this is a huge cause of divorce , (next to infidelity)

NoName wrote:

most people I know are divorced (including myself) ... Marriages does not work anymore,It's usually the women that initiates the divorce, because they rarely have nothing to loose. I tell my son, please never get married and don't have kids it will ruin you.

Your wife left you because you couldn't articulate your thoughts in plain English.

Marriages don't work as well anymore for one simple reason... Religion. The days of morality are slipping as people think it's ok to sleep around with as many people as you want with no consequences. I'd be willing to bet that if you take a look at religious participation rates and divorce rates you would see a pretty high correlation... You can even break it down by states to see which states have less participation. Bring back religion to America and you'll see marriages last long again.

sbeefyk1 wrote:

Marriages don't work as well anymore for one simple reason... Religion. The days of morality are slipping as people think it's ok to sleep around with as many people as you want with no consequences. I'd be willing to bet that if you take a look at religious participation rates and divorce rates you would see a pretty high correlation... You can even break it down by states to see which states have less participation. Bring back religion to America and you'll see marriages last long again.

1/10. Too blatant. You'll probably get some bites, but only from newbies.

marry larry wrote:

here in the great state of Virginia most marriages I know are thriving. this is from faith,

"faith" in what?

Its not marriage. Its your generation. The same generation that is fighting tough and nail to keep the minimum wage down. And raising university tuitions year after year to pay for 2nd cars, 2nd mansions, etc. So messed up.

young guy wrote:

Its not marriage. Its your generation. The same generation that is fighting tough and nail to keep the minimum wage down. And raising university tuitions year after year to pay for 2nd cars, 2nd mansions, etc. So messed up.

at least we know some grammar

it's

it's

tooth

not sure if gen x is divorcing any more than other generations. Are you sure?

and it's the boomers and greatest generation types who are sucking money out of public education, not gen x.

you should probably hold off on thought experiments. Just a friendly tip from a village elder.