Dating someone who doesn't exercise

Dating a Non-athlete wrote:

Does anyone have experience in trying to encourage their non-athletic partner to exercise? I was thinking about trying to see if she'd be willing go on a walk with me and my dog. I would be inclined to try to teach her the basics of exercise, but it seems pointless if she's miserable the entire time.

Do NOT go into a relationship expecting to "fix" someone or to change them into your perfect partner. That never works. Take her as is, or don't.

How would you feel if it turned out that she thought you were spending way too much time exercising, and was hoping to convince you to focus on other things once you start dating?

I don't think you're shallow if you say you can't date someone who doesn't share that value. That's fair, and better to be honest about it now.

More often than not, exercising or not exercising is just a matter of circumstances, environment, people you know or sports you watch on TV, your study and work and socializing schedules.

She has a nice body, she danced - which can be a sport, and certainly is a physical activity.

Just see how it goes. The worst thing you can do is trying to motivate her. It must - and it well might, she is only 24! - come from herself.

Consider that she is unlikely to be really considering you.

0/10

Dating a Non-athlete wrote:

She has a nice body

Typically, non-active women have better physiques than runners. Women who go to the gym and lift weights look better than both, but that's a different topic.

[quote]

but was a dancer (whatever that means).

Don't automatically assume she was a stripper. But even if she was one, it's a great way for women to stay in shape.

Typical Letsrun. 0/10 BS a few posts in.

Her "dancing" consisted of knowing how to tap-dance. Didn't seem that extensive to me. I'm not going to try to change her, I've learned that lesson from dating before. Side note: a girl once dumped me because I "exercised too much" (I workout an hour everyday right now- can't image what that girl would have thought of me when I was a college athlete). Sometimes I feel like the world is upside down when people value inactivity over having an in-shape partner.

I like this girl enough not to get rid of her this fast over not exercising. I don't play games with women and keep it real. During the date I said she "should begin exercising" and left it at that. If things progress further I'm going to be honest about my views on her lack of inactivity and if she's willing to change. If not, I'll be done with her.

0/10

Reality: I bought two forty's with a hefty after our shift at wendys. Why doesn't she exercise? This could be a deal breaker. Should I get her Coors light next time?

When I asked sherpas of Nepal, 9 out of 10 of them said, "exercise? What is that?".

darkwave wrote:

How would you feel if it turned out that she thought you were spending way too much time exercising, and was hoping to convince you to focus on other things once you start dating?

Thread number 2 from the OP, approximately 12-18 months from now.

Dating a Non-athlete wrote:

During the date I said she "should begin exercising" and left it at that.

My dating days are long over, but I think if a guy told me I "should" be doing this or that on the first date, he probably wouldn't get a second date.

Now, I wasn't there to hear your tone of voice, etc....maybe it didn't come off as judgemental as it sounds posted here. However, since this really, really seems to bother you already, I wonder how able you will be to really judge her other good qualities if you are so focused on her not exercising.

Just some thoughts. Good luck.

Screw her before she gets flabby.

Take it from a 40's age guy. Her boobs will sag earlier than others. At a certain point, she will start wearing non-sexy clothes because she won't have a choice. She ill not be able to wear sexy clothes.

The only hope is that she discovers her flabby body is soft and disgusting and starts exercising.

Oh, and for what it's worth, dancers work very hard, and burn a lot of calories. Look how hot those women on Dancing with the Stars are. They are professional dancers, and they are very fit and hot.

Drop her like a sack of potatoes.

If you get married she will eventually become a 300+ lb hambeast.

Don't be limited by your own insecurities or shallowness or selfIshness. The % of people who maintain exercise through their entire life is probably in the single digits.

Alan

No doubt, she got her daily allotment of exercise that night running like hell away from you.

Dated a competitive college running chick a few years ago. She was probably less than 100 lbs. I felt nothing.

My next gf was curvy (big t&a) and didn't exercise at all and damn was she hot...

I suppose if my tone was harsh I'll find out the hard way if she doesn't want a second date. To those being critical: I am not going to lower my standards. I have a clear understanding of what I want. Being fake gets you laid but its terrible at building relationships. I'm not someone whose uses women for sex. I need to have an emotional attachment and mutual interests.

If you are in your 20s there are NO excuses not to be somewhat active. We're both in medical school - I share that same demands and responsiblities and I make time for exercise.

It's normal in our society for people to screen out people that smoke cigarettes. Why do people suddenly feel like you're passing judgement on people who have poor diets and aren't physically active?

Exercising and activity are two very different things.

e hillary wrote:

When I asked sherpas of Nepal, 9 out of 10 of them said, "exercise? What is that?".

Well considering there entire life is based on climbing mountains they are incredibly fit. It's just not "exercise" its life.