How to letsrun properly

DC area runner wrote:

12) expect ever grammatical and punctuation error (such as mine above) to be corrected within minutes.

*Expect

*every

Wait...DAMNIT.

DAMN YOU OBAMA!!!

This thread is way overdue. There are many unwritten (previously) rules that need to be understood and followed in order to sustain the high quality of letsrun that we have all grown to expect.

(1) We operate on the honor system. Yes you heard me right, the honor system. Sure we can troll and we can lie about income and times and jobs but once you start a thread you are not allowed to post in that thread under a different name.

(2) If you start a troll you MUST post at least two additional times to respond to posters and to sustain interest in the thread.

(3) When posting on any running or diet or political topic, remember you are an expert.

(4) Most importantly, always remember, this is all in FUN. If you find yourself getting tense or taking any insults and posts seriously, you might want to actually go out and run and stay away from the site.

You understand which threads to NOT troll. If a slow runner runner starts an honest thread, say "how do I BQ" or "shin splints, help me!", experienced letsrunners would never troll or be condescending in such a thread. Hell, we wouldn't even consider reading it.

Not a valid entry- lacks powerpoint

txRUNNERgirl wrote without suggesting powerpoint:

1) Be prepared to have anything you post deleted for no good reason at all.

2) Don't drink and post.

3) Do drink and lurk.

4) Always come here first for running, travel and financial advice, as well as the news and weather.

5) Do not come here for relationship advice.

6) Do not come here if you are a currently-professional athlete, but your agent probably should.

7) Remember that your non-LetsRun friends will not find the "Gobble, Gobble, MF" and other such jokes/sayings very amusing.

8) Assume that anything you post can be seen by anyone, including your mom (that's the nature o the internet).

9) Expect honest opinions, but not honest facts.

10) Your point is not valid until you post your PR.

Don't let yourself get offended.

"This is terrible. You're too stupid to realize you didn't even start it, the equally moronic OP started it, and then a couple of fools who don't understand nested quotes waded into the fray. Obviously you are as ridiculously slow at running as you are mentally. It's likely because you have a tiny penis".

And if all else falis, insult someone by saying they have a tiny penis. I think that may be the Bad Wigins or Tyrannosaurus Rexing rule, not sure.

Spearmans wrote:

Start any thread relating to diet, politics, or race & you'll get the pleasure of watching Tyrannosaurus Rexing have an absolute meltdown complete with all caps, bolded words, & lots & lots of 15 year-old like name calling.

Start a thread with "ELITE NAME" goes DOWN! "ELITE NAME" goes DOWN!

Or someone/something goes home "devastated." One or the other will work.

Oh, and you are correct sir on the T-Rexing call-out.

This is terrible. You're too stupid to realize you didn't even start it, the equally moronic OP started it, and then a couple of fools who don't understand nested quotes waded into the fray. Obviously you are as ridiculously slow at running as you are mentally. It's likely because you have a tiny penis.[/quote]

And for this reason, I have now archived this thread in the wayback machine so all future generations can see how incessantly idiotic you are.

I have run a 12:37.34 5k and have a ten foot long penis that I whip out every time I win a Thanksgiving Turkey Trot while I scream 'GOBBLE GOBBLE MOTHERFVCKERS'.

But you were too busy being a nonsensical nincompoop to recognize me.[/quote]

I didn't know you'd run a 12:37 5k. My apologies, you were correct all along. I was distracted when replying as I was receiving oral sex from my hot roommate who's boyfriend was out of town. The oral sex didn't distract me, I was preoccupied with wondering if she exercised enough for me to marry her and wondering if my excessively large penis might accidentally choke her to death and if that would prevent me from a career where I'd earn over 300k a year.

everyone faster than me is on drugs, and everyone slower is just a lazy SOB.

Pimp's up! Bun Hugger's down!

Insinuate that teaching is somehow a difficult job.

[quote]you are a young oldtimer tRg wrote:

Not a valid entry- lacks powerpoint

I only use PowerPoint for break-ups, marriage proposals and grocery lists.

Never forget to begin all posts with "I have heard from a VERY reliable source that..."

Deer letsrun...um, ever heard of Jordan hasay

uh, really????? wrote:

I didn't know you'd run a 12:37 5k. My apologies, you were correct all along. I was distracted when replying as I was receiving oral sex from my hot roommate who's boyfriend was out of town. The oral sex didn't distract me, I was preoccupied with wondering if she exercised enough for me to marry her and wondering if my excessively large penis might accidentally choke her to death and if that would prevent me from a career where I'd earn over 300k a year.

"whose boyfriend"

Your welcome

DC area runner wrote:

11) make sure you watch the "having a beer with txrunnergirl AT LEAST once a year.

1) Never talk about running. Ever.

2) Try to keep threads related to trolling, political discussions or both.

3) Consistently, incessantly and vigilantly post low quality threads that border the line of paranoid schizophrenia that are barely coherent and make little sense. (Jamin, Hinglemcringleberry.)

4) Hate everything popular. This includes mainstream movies, music, books, literature, celebrities, training techniques. Even if the subject you're talking about has some credible, quality substance to it, it's required to be a hipster and chastise the material for existing. ALWAYS hate what's popular.

5) Repeat overused memes over and over.

6) Make sure to never BAN anyone. Banning people is strictly prohibited. People that have constantly posted low quality contents for months on end are guaranteed the ability to do so the next day. (Jamin.)

7) Call anyone that doesn't agree with you a "20 year old in college" or a "moron". Make sure to directly cite their apparent lack of intelligence as a credible argument in your favor.

8) If you DO happen to stray onto the topic of running, make sure it's time prediction threads. Make sure it's something that has been consistently beaten to death in the archives. Make sure you can easily access multiple quantities of the thread your posting using the search function.

9) Make sure to create threads regarding very simple concepts such as pacing, training and such. Make sure it's something that can be found in the "Good Threads" link near the top of the forum that has been there for over a decade.

10) Display a harsh, condescending attitude towards everyone. Make sure to type witty, belittling, derogatory comments to anyone that makes the slightest mistake or gets the smallest tidbit of info wrong. Make sure to set the level for "average intelligence" so high that only prodigies meet the criteria. Basically follow everything that I've been saying in this post itself and you should be okay.

never ever give up reading the message board