"ME TOO" My wife bought a puppy without my prior agreement.
Hello,
I have found this forum by chance and I would really like some advice.
I would not call my situation desperate (there are so many bad things in the world)
but to me this is a blow..
I would say we are having a crisis in our marriage. We hadn't had sex for a while, a couple of months.
Reason for this; Really bad mood on my part (middle age crisis ?) , also i feel my wife treats me bad repetitively
(no respect as she can verbally abuse me for the simplest thing (e.g. leaving a glass of water in the living room,
obsessed with tidiness). You can not beat someone in the morning and expect sex in the evening. - Maybe if you are doing the beating.
As for the expenses, I pay for most things, two car expenses hers and mine (gas, service, taxes etc)
House expenses, taxes etc (and the house is in her name), kids books
All shopping expenses (supermarket).
She pays for electric bill, mobile phone bills, clothes (hers and two daughters), make-up etc and the girls tutors.
She never has money in her pocket and her salary is always gone in a few days.
I have repeatedly asked her to give me an account of where her money goes but she never did.
I am transparent about where my money goes and even give her daily report (tell her)
She even asks for money in front of my mother-in-law and laughs about it !!
I suspect she gives money to her parents behind my back (although she denied it).
Her parents live on the rent and although they both have income,
they live beyond their means (for example in a bigger home than ours,
new mobile phones for the mother in law etc). Can not pay their taxes.
Another thing that is important, is that we lost her grandmother last year. I don;t think she got
over it and she is looking for substitutes. She started smoking but had to give up because of health issues.
She is overweight and already has arthritis. Our age is 44 !! Her longest walking distance per day is 50 meters.
She takes the car even for short distances.
On the current events, she brought a puppy Yorkshire in the house.
I repeatedly told her that I didn't want a dog (we have a few meters of a yard which is paved and two cats outside that we provide with food.
Kids where super exited of course (15 years and 11 years) Mostly the young one as she was the one who
wanted it. Also I want to mention that I am the parent who puts the limits for the kids (I am the one who says
'no' as she can not.
I am thinking about divorce seriously (if is weren't for the kids it would be automatic). If the kids where old enough and living on their own means would be different and I would consider a dog. But now the kids are growing up, our salaries are less that they used to be and the expenses are escalating. I am pulling money from my bank account as I saved some money a few years back but that money is not infinite !
I can not believe that a person can not understand that when we have a common wallet the decisions must me agreed from both parties unless the person must cover the full cost and not burden the household.
I am thinking of economic strangulation as a second option. Simply put the money is not enough and girls must understand about basic economics.
- no vacations (always paid by me)
- no going out to restaurants etc (paid by me)
- no ordering for pizza ever couple of days (paid by me) (also stopped cooking as we get the cooked food from her aunt)