My wife bought a puppy without my prior agreement.

I wouldn't call it disrespectful, but I do think it's inconsiderate of her to get the puppy when you had already discussed it and she knew you didn't want one. You're in a no-win situation now. If you return/give away the puppy, your wife AND kids will be mad, but if you keep it, you're not-so-happy. It doesn't sound like you're a "dog person" either. My husband isn't -- we have 2 dogs, and he could take or leave them, while I can't imagine living without a dog.

A previous poster had a good idea -- having a joint account and 2 personal accounts. Then you could make her pay for all the new puppy expenses out of her income, and you just enjoy the dog's company. Two dogs aren't harder to take care of than one, time-wise.

The solution is seperate money and she pays dog expenses? The wife says to hubby screw your feelings I'm getting a dog and then not enough even telling him until the kids have already gotten excited about it.....Thats not disrespectful?? Wow!What part of team and life partner don't you understand?

SisterSister wrote:

I wouldn't call it disrespectful, but I do think it's inconsiderate of her to get the puppy when you had already discussed it and she knew you didn't want one. You're in a no-win situation now. If you return/give away the puppy, your wife AND kids will be mad, but if you keep it, you're not-so-happy. It doesn't sound like you're a "dog person" either. My husband isn't -- we have 2 dogs, and he could take or leave them, while I can't imagine living without a dog.

A previous poster had a good idea -- having a joint account and 2 personal accounts. Then you could make her pay for all the new puppy expenses out of her income, and you just enjoy the dog's company. Two dogs aren't harder to take care of than one, time-wise.

J.R. wrote:

overstretched wrote:

Yes- She hinted at her desire to get a second dog/puppy in the recent past. I made my opposition to the idea abundantly clear to her on many occasions. We already have a dog and it is difficult enough-and expensive- to care for it given that we are both working parents. I was in absolute shock when she came home yesterday with a new puppy. The kids are in heaven, but I feel like I have to return the dog out of fairness/kindness to the animal. There's no way we have the time or money to care for a second dog.

Thoughts?

Return the dog when she's somewhere else.

That's what I'd do.

That is very passive aggressive behavior

I'm freaking out. maybe panic attack. I don't think I can do this.

I need you to hold me and then literally shake me and tell me to pull it together and that I can do this. I'm going to cry.

stray dog freedom wrote:

J.R. wrote:

Return the dog when she's somewhere else.

That's what I'd do.

That is very passive aggressive behavior

No it isn't. That is fixing the problem.

No it's not. It's making it worse.

Dog gone, problem solved.

stray dog freedom wrote:

J.R. wrote:

Return the dog when she's somewhere else.

That's what I'd do.

That is very passive aggressive behavior

That was a very passive aggressive response.

I hope the guy's going to come back and update the situation.

Or:

Smile! we've just been trolled.

Sorry, it has been a hell of a day. I decided to go home at lunch and return the dog. We aren't going to do this. I'm sorry, but this aggression will not stand, man. Anyway, I took it back to the owner and they would not accept the return so I took it to the pound. I told the kids after school and my wife is not talking to me right now. i am holding my ground on this one.

Waster of time wrote:

Does she take it up the ass? Very important information before making up my mind.

Buddy, it was a harmless thread. Do you really feel a need to add your own brand of immaturity to it. If you dont like it a simple read and move on would a better approach. Your parents must be proud.

Marriage is about compromise, love, and forgiveness. She did not do well, so you have the chance to do what is right. You can fight this battle (and lose), or you can be the bigger person and forgive. You could take the opposite approach, but it could cost you more than what the puppy would.

You will have a reposession on your credit report for 7 years if you take it back. It is one of the worst things you can have on a credit report too. I'd rather get a 2nd job than have that but that's just what I'd do.

It pains me to say this, but as someone who has been in this situation previously... she does not respect you. My guess is either you continue to live in an unfulfilling marriage, or you end up divorced. What she did isn't grounds for divorce, but it's a sign of larger underlying issues. Best of luck though.

I would say that she respects you but isn't giving you respect (difference) because she doesn't respect herself.

I personally am never going to agree to marry someone who hasn't fully made ammends because I wouldn't respect myself.

*amends*

if you really did take the puppy to the pound, you are an a$$. You know they could kill it if not adopted. Could you not wait to find another owner on your own? POS.

overstretched wrote:

Sorry, it has been a hell of a day. I decided to go home at lunch and return the dog. We aren't going to do this. I'm sorry, but this aggression will not stand, man. Anyway, I took it back to the owner and they would not accept the return so I took it to the pound. I told the kids after school and my wife is not talking to me right now. i am holding my ground on this one.

Seriously, if it went to the pound as an owner surrender it will be euthanized due to over crowding in almost all shelters. You never said the breed of dog but if it's not a little lap dog or a dog that might be pulled by rescue it will probably be gone. Go back, get the dog and get on with your life. Your kids will never forgive you. So sad that certain people even have kids.

bleu wrote:

Seriously, if it went to the pound as an owner surrender it will be euthanized due to over crowding in almost all shelters. You never said the breed of dog but if it's not a little lap dog or a dog that might be pulled by rescue it will probably be gone. Go back, get the dog and get on with your life. Your kids will never forgive you. So sad that certain people even have kids.

Too late. His wife and kids came by to save the pup but we killed it a few minutes earlier. Too bad. Cute little thing. Kids were crying, it was a terrible scene. She said something about packing up and taking the kids.