My wife bought a puppy without my prior agreement.

i dont know what you mean by getting a "dog" without talking to you

Conundrum wrote:

The issue is not whether you can afford the dog or whether it is fair to the other dog, the issue is that your wife totally dismissed any feelings that you had and made a unilateral decision.

I think you should be angered by this. She couldn't reach you by cell phone, it had to be bought immediately without talking to you about it.

Explain to her why she was wrong to get a dog without discussion and then you have decide whether you should have her take it back.

I hope she's damn good in bed because she seems like a lousy life partner.

Yeah, God forbid a woman should ever buy anything without consulting the man first. It is 1953, after all. I remember one day I got home from work to find that my little lady had gone out and bought a new toaster oven without asking. Needless to say, she returned that toaster oven the following day (only after a stern talking to).

If the husband bought a car without consulting the wife, I'd be upset --but only if there was an agreed upon financial plan beforehand and an agreement that all long term purchases would be discussed before. This is not the case. It's okay.

Nice try but it has nothing to do with sexism. The OP said he was "shocked" by seeing the dog. No husband should go out and buy a dog without telling his wife if he knows the wife is against the idea.The guys role with the kids is also diminished. "Mom bought this great dog even though dad didn't want it"It not like she cheated or anything but I think she certainly should a lack of respect.

know your role wrote:

[Yeah, God forbid a woman should ever buy anything without consulting the man first. It is 1953, after all. I remember one day I got home from work to find that my little lady had gone out and bought a new toaster oven without asking. Needless to say, she returned that toaster oven the following day (only after a stern talking to).

To be perfectly clear - I'm not mad or disappointed.

Go on Jerry Springer and entertain us.

Nah, I don't blame a guy for wanting a dog. It isn't THE smartest financial savings decision, but it also isn't the end of the world. To be fair, they did talk about it and I get the feeling that financial matters weren't clearly expressed. They just have to get in a better place where they communicate better, which I definitely think will happen in the future. Especially since an understanding of how purchases will be decided is set. No worries.

What kind of dog?

You have communication problems in your marriage that are a bigger deal than this dog. Deal with them now (with a couples counselor), or deal with bigger problems later.

If you feel the stress from being financially strapped is greater than the benefits of the dog, then you can take it back. But it really is your decision.My opinion on such matters doesn't carry as much weight at this stage.

overstretched wrote:

Yes- She hinted at her desire to get a second dog/puppy in the recent past. I made my opposition to the idea abundantly clear to her on many occasions. We already have a dog and it is difficult enough-and expensive- to care for it given that we are both working parents. I was in absolute shock when she came home yesterday with a new puppy. The kids are in heaven, but I feel like I have to return the dog out of fairness/kindness to the animal. There's no way we have the time or money to care for a second dog.

Thoughts?

Return the dog when she's somewhere else.

That's what I'd do.

uxcited?:D wrote:

If you feel the stress from being financially strapped is greater than the benefits of the dog

As has been mentioned, something is wrong with YOU if having a dog results in financial stress. I had a dog when I was an undergrad living off of a weekend job waiting tables. Not once did the dog ever cause financial hardship.

If a second dog would be a huge financial burden, the dog itself isn't really the issue. Your career plan is the problem.

If they're pit bulls, I'd take them both back.

Just talk :D the real problem is the lack of communication. We can learn from it and talk. You never know - you might think someone will get mad or disagree with what you've done or have to say, but maybe not. My music teacher in the 6th grade used to say, "Perfect practice makes perfect".

I'd say if it is a dachshund, keep it. Otherwise, take it back to where it came from.

This tone makes me sad. Be nice to yourself. Life is one long learning lesson...

My ex-wife slept with my boss without my prior agreement.

The wife hasn't made a lot of great decisions in the past, that is true. But today is a not yesterday or last year. Time to take control of your life and make wiser ones.

i think you have relationship issues that is most likely bigger than a new puppy. don't use this as an excuse to bang outside of your marriage.