I was recently offered a job. This was a truly unique and exciting opportunity to do something special and potentially make a lot of money. It was also an intimidating proposition, and I was uncertain about whether I would be able to succeed at it. On top of that, I have serious personal problems that that have been wrecking havoc on my morale and making me prone to changes in sentiment. Even though I orally committed to the job, I never overcame the issues that were holding me back, and remained in state of chronic indecision the entire time that I was supposed to be preparing. As a result, I blew everything. I wavered on the date that I was supposed to start, was given extra time to prepare, then wavered again on my second chance, at which point the offer was rescinded. Now I realize what a great opportunity it was, am full of remorse and want to die. This was my big chance to do something in life and I don't believe I will get another one. It's like the Eminem song "Lose Yourself" where he says "if you had one shot... one opportunity... to cease everything you ever wanted... would you capture it... or would you just let it slip?" Well, guess which one I chose. Because now that I've blown it I can't stand to live with the consequences.
I just blew the opportunity of a lifetime. What should I do?
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It sounds like you procrastinated because you didn't know if you could do it. Maybe if you did take it, you would have failed anyway.
I would ask yourself these questions:
Was it a good fit for you? Would you have succeeded?
Did you have the skills required to succeed?
What are the skills or knowledge required?
Why did you want this opportunity?
Why didn't you?
Now, go work on the skills and get the knowledge that is required so that when another opportunity comes along you will be ready.
When you are ready another opportunity will come. -
long horn wrote:
just go apply at the other chipotle
Post of the day! -
Talk to someone straightaway
Call 800 784 2433
or
800 273 8255
call now
Even if you are not planning to do anything to harm yourself they can get you in touch with a health professional. -
I recently did something similar. Was offered a kind of permanent position where I was basically my own boss and had my own research funds of ~250K/year and so on and so on. Said no, reasons external to the job itself, and so I'm going again for another temporary appointment with a boss that my gut feeling says will be a fat b4st4rd... I knew it was a mistake about one second after I declined the offer!
Life is not just work. If you're still making enough money to make end meets, just be patient and some other opportunity will show up. You must be doing something right, or else they wouldn't have offered it. The best piece of advice I got in the process was that as long as you're moving to a position where you're better off than before, then you're going in the right direction.
There will be others. And there is the other chipotle as it has been correctly pointed up above. -
Been there, done that and had an epic melt down afterward. My advice is to first work out the personal issues that you felt were inhibiting your confidence in your ability to do your best work. The other folk's advice about getting counseling is spot on-especially if you find that you are going beyond just kicking yourself. As long as you are fixated on what's in the rear view mirror, it will be difficult to fully focus on what's ahead.
There will be other opportunities and getting prepared for them needs to be the next focus. Hang in there, you can do this. -
The one positive is you chose the great philosopher ,Eminem to put your prdicament into perspective. Cease out.
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long horn wrote:
just go apply at the other chipotle
Dude... I laughed my head off at this. Thanks for the laugh!
-- On a serious note to the OP, however, know that you are not alone. We all make mistakes like this and sometimes these career opportunities seem utterly intimidating, a minefield of potential failure or reproach.
As others have said, you have to let go of it now. Take a look at yourself and see if you can address what it is that made you run from this opportunity. It sounds like you likely would have encountered difficulty or sabotaged success even if you had taken the job, so don't kick yourself too hard.
Remember the golden rule of taking "baby steps" toward success. Maybe you need a less stressful, less demanding job for a while to build up your confidence until you are eager to take the bigger, riskier step. Don't let your pride destroy you. -
long horn wrote:
just go apply at the other chipotle
You made me laugh out loud and wake up the neighbors. -
LookyLooky wrote:
long horn wrote:
just go apply at the other chipotle
You made me laugh out loud and wake up the neighbors.
Well, just about anything tickles your fancy huh? -
Looking back a few years from now, you'll probably realize that this was the best outcome. It just doesn't seem like it now. I recall a period about... let's see... 39 years ago, when I was really feeling sorry for myself. Finally, sitting outside on a curb under a streetlight, I thought to myself, "You can either sit here and feel sorry for yourself or you can make the best of the situation you're in." I resolved to do the latter. Most everyone over thirty on this board has experienced something similar. You are where you are... just make the best of it.
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long horn wrote:just go apply at the other chipotle
This. Is. Hilarious. -
If you live on the east coast, take up surfing.
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I'm sure something else will come along. I missed a really great job opportunity when I was younger because of some family problems. It took me a while to come back from it, but I managed to after a while.
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Whatever qualities got you the first opportunity haven't gone away. Keep at it and you will get other chances. In fact, you might in the future even get this one again when you have yourself straightened out and can convince them why you didn't jump at it the first time.
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i done EFFED up wrote:to cease everything you ever wanted... would you capture it... or would you just let it slip?" Well, guess which one I chose. Because now that I've blown it I can't stand to live with the consequences.
You also chose to cease everything. I would have chosen to seize it. -
"I just blew the opportunity of a lifetime. What should I do?"
Spit and brush your teeth. -
DontGargle wrote:
"I just blew the opportunity of a lifetime. What should I do?"
Spit and brush your teeth.
This is the greatest thread ever. -
I did the same thing. Stuck with my current job bc it seemed like it would offer me more security and better pay in the long run (I took two months of research in trying to make this decision).
Two years later I have learned that I was totally wrong. My current job is uncertain and unless I get lucky, I will have to move on in a year or two.
The problem is that the opportunity I passed up was so unusual in my industry that my next job will pay far less and be far less prestigious than the one I turned down - unless lightening strikes twice.
I think about it everyday. It keeps me awake at night, I am grouchy to my family and fear for the future. It sucks. I am 40 years old and support a family - I don't have a lot of time left to find new opportunities. Hindsight is a b*tch. I try to be positive but I can't control how I feel. -
Something will pop up. Just stay positive and good things will happen eventually.
You can't control your past but you're in complete control of your future. I had a similar thing happen to me. It sucks but the only thing you can do is forget about it and figure out what is next.
