Graduation coming up. Need something to make up when people ask me what I'm going to do with my life.

"I've developed a special kind of glue that can be swallowed and attaches itself to fat cells which then extract carbon from the fats. This compound is passed as stool and can then be pressurized and converted into several types of metals which are valuable to smelting agencies. I'm working with a patent lawyer and hope to sell the concept to a major pharmaceutical company."

You could occupy Wall Street. Or you could say you are going to become a police officer and bop the Occupiers on the head. Pick one depending on the politics of your interlocutor.

The MonBRO Doctrine wrote:

You could occupy Wall Street. Or you could say you are going to become a police officer and bop the Occupiers on the head. Pick one depending on the politics of your interlocutor.

That would be some funny sh*t. Tell them you're immediately heading to NYC to occupy WS. Or tell them you see a promising future in the porn industry.

Plastics

The MonBRO Doctrine wrote:

You could occupy Wall Street. Or you could say you are going to become a police officer and bop the Occupiers on the head. Pick one depending on the politics of your interlocutor.

They're all raging Republicans, the type who probably supported Palin, Bachmann, Santorum, etc.

"What are your plans after graduation?"

"Be a millionaire."

Don't elaborate.

young grad guy wrote:

The MonBRO Doctrine wrote:

You could occupy Wall Street. Or you could say you are going to become a police officer and bop the Occupiers on the head. Pick one depending on the politics of your interlocutor.

They're all raging Republicans, the type who probably supported Palin, Bachmann, Santorum, etc.

Driving to California to become a professional surfer

You're going to drop out of society, be a bum and live in a commune.

You're moving to California to support Jerry Brown's next run for President.

Investing in an invention to inject water into gasoline so cars can get 150 mpg.

Leading a protest at the main gates of Monsanto. Ask if they'd like to join you.

trance dance turn in shawowski wrote:

young grad guy wrote:

They're all raging Republicans, the type who probably supported Palin, Bachmann, Santorum, etc.

Driving to California to become a professional surfer

I don't know - my parents are pretty hard-core Republicans, though they hated Bachmann and Santorum, but they would think that going to California to become a professional surfer was the coolest thing ever. Better go with the occupying Wall Street.

I was looking more for things that will just puzzle them and not make sense to them, not necessarily things that will piss them off. Thanks for the suggestions thus far though.

Tell them the truth- that you plan to live in moms basement and troll LRC

Tell them you've decided to enlist in the Army, to avoid getting drafted.

Then actually *do* enlist. Ask for language school--sure, it's a complete non sequitur based on your college work, but you're musical, right?--(I can tell)--and people with musical abilities do well with learning languages.

Tell them as much or as little of this plan as you think you need to, or want to. Bon appetit.

mr. robinson wrote:

Plastics

Nice one!

The old standby is planning on Law School. You can take a cake major like Poli Sci or Sociology and party for a while and then get serious. Or that is what you can tell people in the interum.

All these people coming to celebrate your achievement is nice of them. Coming up with a smart ass response to confuse them seems like insecure teenager stuff not worthy of a college grad. If you were a black sheep why respond in a way that confirms what they might already think.

Why not just be honest? Don't be defensive or bewildered by the question and if some one asks you at the wrong time or in thewrong context, just thank them for their interest and tell them right now you are celebrating your successes.

Tell them you plan to be a professional runner, and hand them a laminated clipping of the Wall Street Journal story about Meb earning mid six figures. And one more thing-wear Skechers to the graduation party.

Tell them you are opening up a Microbrewery with some college buddies.

OK, I guess I could play. Tell them you plan on working for the government scheduling private after hours training sessions for the secrete service.

Conundrum wrote:

All these people coming to celebrate your achievement is nice of them. Coming up with a smart ass response to confuse them seems like insecure teenager stuff not worthy of a college grad. If you were a black sheep why respond in a way that confirms what they might already think.

Why not just be honest? Don't be defensive or bewildered by the question and if some one asks you at the wrong time or in thewrong context, just thank them for their interest and tell them right now you are celebrating your successes.

"I'm going to be a boater"

No explanation needed.