Guy offered to pay for me: Am I making too much out of this?

If you are the least bit attractive, he wanted to bone you.

You kept it from being a "date". A chance he was just being nice, but few people are *that* nice. If he's interested, make him really ask you out.

naughtybynature wrote:

You kept it from being a "date". A chance he was just being nice, but few people are *that* nice. If he's interested, make him really ask you out.

This is correct. It was not a date. And quite honestly, he didn't REALLY offer to pay. He asked if you were "ok with money". This is a way to make it appear like you're offering to pay (thus getting all points associated with that) but not really paying, because what are you supposed to say, "um no, I came here to get food and don't have any money...I kind of expected you to pay." I'm not saying he wouldn't have paid if you asked, but he didn't REALLY offer to pay.

If he likes you, he'll ask you out and then you can let him pay if you want. As naughtybynature said, you kept it from being a date...don't get caught up in a sneaky date. You did that, so good show.

Yeah, It's good you didn't let him pay. Make him ask you on a real date, so it is clear that it is a date. Otherwise it is awkward not knowing what is really happening. He might think its like a date and you don't and there is confusion if he pays for it. But if he asks you on a date, you both know it's a date and can be clear about the interest and have fun. Some guys understand this, some don't. It doesn't mean he's loser, its' just some young guys are still figuring out this dating stuff out.

Flagpole wrote:

If he likes you, he'll ask you out and then you can let him pay if you want. As naughtybynature said, you kept it from being a date...don't get caught up in a sneaky date. You did that, so good show.

Wrong, completely wrong. This is the 21st century. If he likes you, he won't necessarily ask you out. This is a climate of gender equality. If you're interested, there is equal burden on you to ask him out as there is on him if he's interested. Men often have to rely on sneaky dates because of the dating climate that women have established. If you think he's interested and you're receptive to the idea of a real date with him, ask him out and get the ball rolling. Or, if you're interested enough to say yes, but not so interested as to pursue it proactively, then let him ask you out. Either way, your result is in your hands as much as his.

As far as the payment thing, go Dutch for life. Pay for each other every other date if that's easier, but even in marriage, everything should be equal.

You paid for yourself. Good for you.

You should always pay your own way, date or no date. To do otherwise is to accept that you are being paid for (at least the hope of) sex. And that would make you a w____. Presumably not something that you aspire to.

And don't worry if a guy will be offended. Just say politely and respectfully that you can pay for your own meals, tickets... If he can't deal with that then he isn't worth your time.

Good insight. Women have screwed things up. The game used to be really simple: women wanted to get married as soon as possible. Men had the advantage in that as long as they were somewhat "marryable" (ie. had any job, not a complete idiot, not hideous) they could get any date they wanted as long as they asked.

These days, men are afraid to ask a girl out because women are no longer afraid of being alone their whole lives and don't worry about getting married right away. They can turn down dates and wait it out for something better. They can friend zone a guy and string him along for years in case she can't find anyone better.

Now we have the situation where a guy will ask a girl out, she says no, and the guy just looks like a sad, pathetic little puppy dog. Guys were once expected to be persistent towards a girl who was playing hard to get. That is now called being "creepy". It has almost gotten to the point where any time a guy talks to a girl who isn't interested in him, he automatically gets labeled as a creep. People have recently been talking about the downfall of "men" and how they no longer have the audacity and courage to form relationships with women, and I think it all has to do with women putting men in a place where it is almost impossible for men to approach them comfortably without the fear of being rejected.

I'm not speaking from experience here, only observation. I don't have any trouble approaching women. What was this thread about again?

Don't listen to this femi-nazi. She probably has a crew-cut and galivants in her mother's army boots.

You can tell who the older guys are here... yes I'm one of them. Many of us were raised to at least offer to pay any time we were with a female, date or no date. I honestly can't say what the intentions of a college guy are in that situation but it seems like he was raised old school, and right, to me.

He could just be generous. I went out on a double date a few weeks ago and the other guy (it was me and a girl and then another male/female couple) got drunk and paid for everything for all four of us the whole night.

But as far as dating, you should go Dutch, or alternate picking up the bill. Seriously, if a chick expects me to pick up the bill for her I had better not see her down at the polls on election day.

He was definitely propositioning you for sex. Any other problems you need help with? Pics? $$$$?

0/10

the only girl that posts here is txrunnergirl

Berserker wrote:

You can tell who the older guys are here... yes I'm one of them. Many of us were raised to at least offer to pay any time we were with a female, date or no date. I honestly can't say what the intentions of a college guy are in that situation but it seems like he was raised old school, and right, to me.

Wha? You offer to pay any time you're out with a woman? I don't know anyone who does that. Women have jobs; they can afford to pay for their own meals (especially if it's not a date).

I wouldn't worry about the paying thing until you guys are farther along. If he has been studying with you and sitting next to you in class he is probably interested. If you are interested in him drop some subtle hints like touch him on the arm when you are studying or ask him to go out and grab something to eat when its just the two of you. If you aren't interested just ignore him he'll get the hint.

i cant belive im doing this... wrote:

...we decided to go get some food at a nearby place. We got our items and as we were going to pay, he (somewhat casually though) asked if "I was okay with money." ...

WTF does this even mean? Can you please write more clearly?

If a guy offers to pay for your lunch. Let him.

You don't owe anything back if you didn't ask for it or didn't offer anything for it.

A guy buying a drink or lunch is taking a chance that it will impress the girl and lead to something.

Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't.

It's the same as putting a chip on a roulette spin.

He either wins or loses but the casiono doesn't owe him anything just for placing the bet.

I had women pay for my lunch or dinner (FYI I am male)

in high school and college and it didn't necessarily mean

they wanted to jump my bones, but they were interested in me and wanted things to continue so they could get to know me better. Mostly it was an economic situation. They knew I was broke and I knew that it was their parent's money, not theirs. It's like when you have a study group and everyone brings food. Some people on a budget bring a $3.99 bag of chips, while others flush with cash buy $20.00 worth of pizza and if you can pitch in a couple of bucks they might appreciate it, but if they are saying you are not obligated than you have to take them at their word.

Pics?

Also, who didn't read the post and thought he was trying to pay for sex?

You're misunderstanding me. I'm not suggesting she wait around hopefully for him to ask her out. She should do that if she wants.If you young men of today are resorting to "sneaky dates" then you need to quit wearing skirts. Seriously. First metrosexuals and now this. Grow a pair you Nancys.