I'm not form New York and have no idea how courts will handle your case...but.....
#1- this will never go as a felony. I'm guessing it is an automatic 'turn-down' by the Cnty Atty and it will be charged in a City Court as a misdemeanor....
#2- from my understanding, you two have a civil agreement that you will pay for damage. Once something goes 'civil,' the courts frown on prosecuting. They don't like people using the CRIMINAL courts for their personal debt collection. CIVIL court (small claims court in your terminology) is different. That is where she would sue you.
#3- The CRIMINAL side of this case is different than the CIVIL (where she sues you for damage) side.
#4- Get a copy of the police report. Read it.
#5- This will never go to trial. Never.
I'm glad I live far away or else I might be tempted to punch the other side of her car.