My advice is to remain single and live in celibacy. That way
you don't have some future x wife stealing all your money, and
destroying your life. I don't think "being a virgin" should be looked down upon. Sex is overrated, you are not missing anything.
Speaking of Opinions wrote:
asdfasdf wrote:This is one of the creepiest things I've ever heard. Intimacy is private but she wanted to tell the whole congregation she was a virgin? That would make me squirm in my seat or burst out laughing.
Agreed. Sex is a private matter. It strikes me as absolutely bizarre that the bride told a large audience the status of her sex life to date.
Incredible.
She really struggled with whether to tell everyone in attendance & I felt the same uneasiness as you. Sex is a private matter. The officiant is the one who encouraged us to share this. His daughter also waited until marriage to have sex & she shared this with the congregation. After the wedding she was overwhelmed with how many people came up to her to tell her how encouraged they were by this. So we shared this more as a way to set an alternate example for others. There were a number of parents with children and teenagers in attendance. Judging by the response we had, we are glad we shared this. There's a lot more people that value waiting until marriage (or at least respect the decision) than what society leads you to think.
mr white wrote:
She really struggled with whether to tell everyone in attendance & I felt the same uneasiness as you. Sex is a private matter. The officiant is the one who encouraged us to share this. His daughter also waited until marriage to have sex & she shared this with the congregation. After the wedding she was overwhelmed with how many people came up to her to tell her how encouraged they were by this. So we shared this more as a way to set an alternate example for others. There were a number of parents with children and teenagers in attendance. Judging by the response we had, we are glad we shared this. There's a lot more people that value waiting until marriage (or at least respect the decision) than what society leads you to think.
Don't you feel terrible that the officiant used you to spread his agenda?
Yes. That's why everyone hates distance runners.
mr white wrote:
than what society leads you to think.
Society is made up. It doesn't exist. You are worrying about something that is completely in your head.
If you disagree please give me a definition without using the word community, which is different.
Thank you.
what if you don't want to ever get married, or maybe you aren't allowed to by law....what are you supposed to do?
Are you serious, or no? wrote:
mr white wrote:than what society leads you to think.
Society is made up. It doesn't exist. You are worrying about something that is completely in your head.
If you disagree please give me a definition without using the word community, which is different.
Thank you.
Language is made up. It doesn't exist. You are communicating with something that is completely in your head.
If you disagree, please do so without using any words.
mr white wrote:There's a lot more people that value waiting until marriage (or at least respect the decision) than what society leads you to think.
or rather, the self-selected sample of people with whom you interact shares these beliefs. But do not kid yourself - your ideas are extreme and unrealistic.
mr white wrote:
She really struggled with whether to tell everyone in attendance & I felt the same uneasiness as you. Sex is a private matter. The officiant is the one who encouraged us to share this. His daughter also waited until marriage to have sex & she shared this with the congregation. After the wedding she was overwhelmed with how many people came up to her to tell her how encouraged they were by this. So we shared this more as a way to set an alternate example for others. There were a number of parents with children and teenagers in attendance. Judging by the response we had, we are glad we shared this. There's a lot more people that value waiting until marriage (or at least respect the decision) than what society leads you to think.
I don't think that society is leading me to think anything one way or the other. Speaking only for myself, I completely respect the decision of anyone who decides not to have sex until they are married just as I completely respect the decision of those who take the opposite approach. Either way it is just none of my business.
As far as standing in front of an audience and telling everyone that one is a virgin I do believe that this is neither more nor less bizarre than standing in front of the same audience and telling them that I've had sex a few hundred times with several different women and here I am getting married. From my perspective grotesquely bizarre.
Virgin bride wrote:
I was glad my wife was pure. I'll never have to shake another guy's hand who used that same hand to spank my wife or walk in a room and see other guys smirk at the thought remembering my wife in a sexual act with them.
What a gift she gave me.
The equation of virginity with purity is barbaric, and bespeaks a connception of a woman as a commodity or a possession, that is devalued if someone has "used" it previously. Can you think of a better example of "objectification" than that? To say it's patronizing and insulting to women hardly covers it.
The neurosis that other guys might have reason to "smirk" bespeaks an adolescent frailty of ego. That's precisely the mindset that prvokes Islamic extremists to murder their raped sisters so as not to suffer disgrace.How pathetically insecure. All of that baggage, I think, suggests insufficient maturity to enter into a trusting life partnership with an equal.
If purity is important to you, let me suggest looking after your own purity of intention, and a worthwhile yardstick is not to have sex with anyone you do not love. That, as Hawthorne put it, has a consecration of its own.
To answer your question: it depends on your gender. If you're a guy, yes people will judge you for being a virgin. If you have some kind of religious objection to sex you can subtract 3 years from your weirdness age.
If you're a girl, it's kind of strange but you will as usual have no issues finding someone to bone if you're hot and/or not fat.
majority opinion wrote:
After a certain age, yes there is something wrong with being a virgin. It likely means:
1) You are too religious. (You really think there is an invisible man in the clouds who has superhero powers? You're an adult and you honestly think this? I realize it is hard to break free of the indocrination of your parents and community, but if your critical thinking skills don't lead you to the conclusion that something in religion dogma smells fishy, yes there is something wrong with you. Your virginity is a symptom, a red flag.)
or
2) You're not overly religious, but you still think sex is somehow sacred or special. (Like the religious thing, again, you need to think for yourself. If you're using protection then sex is along the same spectrum as holding hands, kissing, and more. It's simply a form of physical pleasure that can be shared with someone else. If you're reading into it any more than that, you're putting the pu$$y on a pedestal.)
or
3) You're spineless and/or have no game. OK, OK. There's not really anything wrong with you if this is the case, just bad luck I guess. I wish you well. But still, you gotta wonder how it's never happened if you're trying. I mean, what exactly is wrong with you?
or
4) Fear of pregnancy and/or sexually transmitted diseases. A legitimate fear. However, there is such a thing as taking fears too far, so if you're waiting until you're 25 out of fear of pregnancy and/or diseases, someone needs to teach you how to use a condom and honestly you need some perspective. This is another red flag that things are "off".
This has been the majority opinion. Peace and love.
Let me guess. Your job doesn't involve any type of science whatsoever. Lit. teacher, maybe a management major, am I right? :)
avidr wrote:
Let me guess. Your job doesn't involve any type of science whatsoever. Lit. teacher, maybe a management major, am I right? :)
Are you going for some sort of world record for stupidity?
Steve Martin wrote:
Virgin bride wrote:I was glad my wife was pure. I'll never have to shake another guy's hand who used that same hand to spank my wife or walk in a room and see other guys smirk at the thought remembering my wife in a sexual act with them.
What a gift she gave me.
You are correct, even if the haters attack this post.
I second this!
I was adding that to clarify that its not like I couldn't if i wanted to, however I just think wow out of the what 7 billion people in the world you just wait and do that with one person I think thats a pretty special gift to your spouse.
I am a virgin and I hope my kids are too.
First off, while it is true that more religious people wait until marriage, I think that it is unfair to assume that everyone who waits until marriage is religious. In fact, myself and my closest friends that did wait, or are waiting, aren't that religious or even consider themselves athiest. There are a lot of other good reasons to wait that aren't "because God wants me to" (not judging and saying for everyone those good reasons will weigh out the good reasons for not waiting, but my point is that there are other good reasons out there). And none of them are poorly adjusted (or whatever the poster said) people either.
I feel that someone who waits until marriage is showing commitment. Not saying people who don't wait are uncommitted or more likely to stray, just that someone who chooses to wait and will pass up opportunities because they are waiting to save it for the person they're going to marry, is a sign to me that they will be committed in a relationship and also have a strong sense of self worth and independence. They've probably been in relationships before were the other person has tried to pressure them to do it, but they were able to say that they wanted to wait. Once again, understand that I'm not saying that if you have sex before marriage, that means you're automatically going to cheat on your spouse or that you give in to pressure or that you have no self worth, just that I think those characteristics are present in a higher percentage of people who wait.
On the flip side, I think the people who want to wait, and then just speed up their whole courtship so they can get married and have sex just to say they waited are ridiculous.
If we're giving special gifts, I'd really much rather get a car than virginity. Can't drive virginity, and once it's gone it's gone.
Say you met a wonderful person, but they'd had sex before. Would that really bother you so much?
Bother is not the right word.
I would prefer my wife to have not slept with anyone previously.
Indifference is understandable but surely no one here actually prefers their gf/future wife to have already lost there virginity.
To answer your question, no longer being a virgin is certainly not a deal breaker.
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