Barry Rice wrote:
I have an PhD in an area within the humanities and my parents never paid a dime for any of my tuition, room, or board. You know why? Because all three degrees were mine. Going to get them was my choice, not theirs. My parents are my heroes and they've provided me with a solid work ethic, an example of how to treat others, and a good foundation for how to live, but I never expected them to pay for my degree? And why should they have been expected to do so?
I'm not telling you how to raise your kids, man, but you may want to ask yourself why you should be on the hook for their degrees.
My mother worked her way through school, alone with two kids. The catch is that she could make enough in a summer to pay for the year's tuition. It's an entirely different world today. I'm all for teaching kids independence, but six figure debt is not a lesson in independence--it's a life-changing burden.
Now, I'm not saying that parents should pay for expensive private educations either. That's going to be a personal choice. If a kid is looking at paying for a private liberal arts education with just loans, then he should probably consider something else. The risks of funding such a liberal arts education with that kind of debt are just too great in this economy. (The handful of schools where there wouldn't be much risk happen to be so wealthy that they don't leave their students in that situation.)
Nevertheless, there are potential upsides to a private liberal arts education. Many of my friends have exciting, fulfilling careers that they would have been unlikely to get if they had gone to state schools. If a kid is sure that's what he wants, and parents are in a position to give it to him, I don't think it's bad parenting to give your child an opportunity that could change his life. If you still want to give him a lesson in independence, you can have him kick in maybe 8k/year (he can make part of that during the summer, and take out small loans for the rest).