Would Dave Monti be in on the April Fools joke, 2 days before April Fools? Doubt it, but I suppose we'll find out shortly if that's the case.
Assuming this is legit, I think Webb's best choices of a coach are (in order):
1) Brother Colm... move to Kenya and train with the best mid-d coach in history. In my opinion, a no-brain 1st option.
2)Schumacher. If he loves Oregon and has thoughts of moving up to 5k at some point, this NO DOUBT his next best/realistic option. Jerry's group is the group he should have gone to to begin with, as guys like Solinsky, Teg and Jager are all more Webb-types then Rupp and Ritz are. Any one of those 3, when fit FOR A 5K, can drop 3:34-35 1500s. That's off of 5K training and without the raw speed of Webb. Jerry is a bread and butter guy. He loves his tempos and strength work all winter. Webb needs that. He also has shown that he can develop speed and a kick... knows how to peak his athletes, and keep them in competitive shape all summer.
3) Cook. As someone else mentioned, Torrence and Monzano are 2 great training partners (though I don't think they really train that much together since Torrence is in the Bay area and is part of the BATC... not sure where Monzano is based) and Cook and Webb have worked together in the past (both directly and indirectly). A couple of downsides here. 1) Webb's best season was after a year of serious strength work. He ran that sick 10k, got hurt, and came back the next year to run incredible times in the 800 and mile. After a few years of injury, Webb needs to get that monster base back again. Webb clearly thrives on layering speed on top of base. I'm not sure Cook would provide him with the base he needs to be a medalist.
4) Razcko. Has had success with him in the past. In fact, has had great success, then Webb left and had poor success, the he came back and had great success! This would follow a similar pattern... just one more turn.
I personally do NOT think Li nor Warhurst would be good choices. Li knows Bernard better then anyone, but that is a bad thing for Alan. What worked for Lagat may not work for Webb, and I have a feeling Li would just try and duplicate Lagat's workouts for Webb. This is not good. Warhurst didn't have success with Webb before... why would he now? Someone mentioned Marcus O'Sullivan as well as Vig. Think its tough for a college coach to coach someone like Webb. Dividing time will not work well. Webb needs constant attention, and I doubt someone who spends 1/5 of their coaching efforts on Webb is going to fly. Plus, no training partners.
So Brother Col, Jerry, Cook, Razcko are the only choices as far as I can tell.