OK, here you go kid. I put the rules into Articles and Sections, grouping those together that belong together, imho. I used your rules with a couple small edits, and added one rule of my own, although I had no idea where to place the Scoo Scoo rule. I'll leave that up to you and your cohorts. I also included a Preamble that I think you will enjoy:
PREAMBLE
We the runners of Allendale Cross Country and Track, under the guidance of the Universal Truth that All Fat People Are Gross; in order to form a more perfect team, establish camaraderie, insure endurance development, provide for a kick ass team, promote generally good times, and secure District, Regional, and State titles, do ordain and establish this Constitution for Runners.
ARTICLE I. General Knowledge of Running.
Section 1. A runner must read at least one book about running.
Section 2. (1) A runner must know more than one running world record.
(2) A runner must know and understand how fast times really are for different distances.
(3) A runner must know how far kilometers are and be able to explain how far a 10K or 5K is.
Section 3. (1)A runner will respect other runners, unless said runners are in fact joggers , or just very slow.
(2) A runner can mock runners who don’t wear spikes during races.
(3)any runner has completed a marathon without walking they deserve respect no questions asked.
(4) A runner must respect FIT swimmers and bikers, for they are also children of endurance sports.
(5) A runner reserves the right to mock sprinters, unless they openly admit that distance running is harder then sprinting. Example: Bryce Brown.
Section 4. A runner must know the difference between different types of shoes.
Section 5. (1)A true runner must know of and have a favorite professional runner.
(2) A runner must know who Steve Prefontane is.
Section 6. (1)A runner must take offense to “run forest run”.
(2)If yelled at during a run, the common method of retaliation is the middle finger.
Section 7. In the presence of other people, a runner may exaggerate their PRs by no more then 5 seconds.
ARTICLE II. Training Rules.
Section 1. (1) A runner must own and wear short shorts.
(2) A runner will try and get the smallest pair of short shorts and singlet available. (SEE ALSO: Corollary in Article IV).
(3) If the temperature is above freezing then a runner will wear short shorts. If the temperature is above 40 degrees, then a runner will wear a t-shirt or no shirt.
Section 2. (1) When a runner is about to pass gas, the runner must move to the back of the pack.
(2) If a runner must go number 2 during a run, the runner must go very far off the trail before going.
(3) Under no circumstances can a runner half step another runner on an easy day.
(4) Under no circumstances can a runner “kick” at the end of an easy run. If he does he will be labeled a douchebag by all others in the group.
Section 3. Stay out of lane one if you’re slower then dirt.
Section 4. (1)A runner must make time for adventure runs during the base phase of running (winter/summer).
(2) During an adventure run, if a runner comes across a river, then said runner must cross it.
EXCEPTION: unless said river is giant.
(3)During the winter adventure runs, frozen rivers and lakes are not off limits for crossing.
(4) In the running group, one runner must be nominated for “river tester/jumper”, or the person who goes first.
Section 5. A runner reserves the right to complain about all the miles they have run, even if they secretly love it.
ARTICLE III. Team Structure and Governance.
Section 1. (1) The order of the running chain of command is determined by the following: race times and team seniority.
(2) Race times hold sway over seniority.
(3) Seniority of more than two (2) years holds sway over race times.
(4) Captain status is valued above race times and seniority. (Article amendments act of 2011.)
Section 2. (1) In the running group, there must be at least one, but no more than one, nick-named Caboose.
(2)When said caboose graduates then another Caboose must be selected from among the Freshman.
Section 3. A runner must, at cross camp, give freshman crap. (but nothing that could end up like West Catholic).
Section 4. If you don’t think this Code is Law then Nick, Thomas, Grant, and Brandon have the right to mock you mercilessly until the wrong has been righted to the satisfaction of said runners.
ARTICLE IV. Racing Rules.
Section 1. A runner must understand that running is actually a TEAM sport, don’t believe what everybody tells you.
Section 2. Know they place on the starting line.
Section 3. (1) During Cross country races, a runner will be quiet and respectful to their opponents until they get into the woods.
(2) But, if you really don’t like the other runners, then just wait until the gun goes off.
Section 4. The food after meets is to be eaten by only runners who ran a race. No exceptions.
Section 5. If a runner qualifies for the state meets, that said runner will do something crazy to their hair to celebrate.
SUB XXXV: Girls are exempt.
Section 6. A runner may only make excuses for bad races for the following reasons:
(1) The runner was sick,
(2) The runner has run more than one hard race in a single meet.
(3) The runner had no sleep. This rule is only to be called on for no sleep pertaining to medical disorders, illness, kick ass parties, or achieving coitus. “Nerves” don’t count.
(4) The runner is still in heavy base phase training.
(5) The runner has a family issue.
Section 7. A runner will try and get the smallest pair of short shorts and singlet available. (SEE ALSO: Corollary in Article I).