Alan here. Seriously. Let me start by addressing the specifics you brought up in the above statement. Motivation has never been an issue for me. I am a runner, it's what I do. It's what I always want to do. Some people, certainly the frequenters of this board, have issues with my methods and constantly question everything about my training, performances, etc., but let me make one thing clear, motivation to succeed has never been an issue for me. I'm a lion. And this lion is always hungry.
Happiness? I was happier with coach Razcko? Happiness is a strange thing. Truth is, I am happy when I'm healthy and running well. I wasn't running well when I left VA, so I wasn't happy. It took me a while to get used to things out here in Oregon, and I suppose you could say that I wasn't happy. There are a lot of good guys out here to push me, though, and things are looking up. Have I run 3:30 yet under Salazar's training? No. But at least I'm running. At this point in my career, that's enough to make me happy, at least for a while.
I'm moving up. I'm finally starting to feel the 'fitness' that I once knew so well. No offense to the average letsrunner, but this 'fitness' is not something most of you guys are familiar with. It's not fitness you can achieve by getting a base in over a couple months. It's not something that you start to feel after a few weeks of hard workouts. Being in peak mile shape, especially under all this pressure, takes a whole different mindset. It takes focus. It takes time. Thankfully, being in this group in Oregon really makes it easier to settle down and focus on the little (yet important) stuff, like recovery, mechanics, and, yes, even nutrition. I'm doing well. I'm not overworking my body. For once, I'm taking the necessary time to get into shape, instead of pushing my body to exhaustion day in and day out. And in response to the 'not as powerful, not as muscular' comment, I'm actually enjoying my leaner physique, surprisingly. My legs feel just as strong; they just don't have to propel so much mass anymore. Then again, I can't do 45 pull-ups in a single set anymore either, haha! Worthy sacrifice, I suspect. We'll see how the rest of this season goes.
Closing remarks: I'm not going anywhere. You haven't even given me a chance here. Trust me, I'm just taking my time to get to the top again. That was my problem before. I thought everything had to be all out all day. That's what kept me hurt and unhappy. I know how people on message boards like this feel about me, and it doesn't bother me. In the end, I'm only responsible for me. I don't owe anybody anything. That said, I'm shooting for the top. And, to the haters, why don't you go for the record?
Thanks for the love,