Dear Candy, I can't really remember you very well, but I remember when Dad brought home you, a scraggly-looking, small black dog, not very well-behaved. You were given up proably because the previous owner (maybe someone Dad worked with) didn't bother to train you or take care of you and got rid of you for chewing up stuff. Jerks. I laughed when you chewed off the gum off the driveway and chewed it in your mouth. Did that happen? Or is that just what we thought happened or is the way the memory works? My parents didn't say much but we knew when you were put down. It was to save their relationships with the neighbors after you bit Jimmy Morris. I know he teased and taunted you through the fence. I think even my parents knew that, but still... Your life could have been much better than it was. I hope you found something good wherever you are or went.
Dear Smokey, I can't remember so much about you either, but I remember we got you from the girls' bathroom at the elementary school during the picnic. We kids wanted to keep you and we were allowed. I remember your elegance; you were a slim gray, female cat, just like our little Lacey we have now. You had kittens in our basement. THAT I remember. How cute they were, eyes closed, trying to go off on their own. I don't remember if you were good to them or not, but Mom thought maybe not, so off you went to "the farm." I hope you had a good life there.
Dear Chuck and Bandit, you were outdoor cats, and best friends to each other. It was natural that Bandit became "L's favorite" and Chuck was "my favorite." They were brothers, just like L and I were sisters. L was sooooo sad when we found the blood on the snow. Actually, Chuck found the body of Bandit and most likely witnessed the dogs that killed Bandit. For me, I mostly felt so sad for you, Chuck, for you were out of sorts, not knowing how to go on. You survived and moved on. Through the years I got older but I could always count on you for sharing a quiet moment. You always came to me when I needed this moment. You were never affectionate, but you knew exactly the moment that I needed someone... well, not a person that talks, but just an animal to share a quiet moment. I was in Bankok when I found out you passed. Here's to you Bandit and Chuck. I hope you guys found each other again.
Dear Jed, you were my brother's dog. You were so stinky and drooly and loved to hop in the dirt. I loved taking you out for runs, me hopping over "no trespassing" signs, you under them, and running out in the woods. You were so protective! Once I got scared hearing a bunch of dogs barking and you sniffed my fear and grabbed my hand with your mouth and pulled me along faster. When I was left alone (and scared) you came to my bed and put your head on it. When I asked you up, you knew you weren't supposed to, but you helped me sleep better. Jed, R was so upset when you got sick. You died in his arms. But you you went to Mom in her sleep. The first dog ghost she's ever had. You said not to worry, everything was OK. You were a good boy. Hope there are a lot of trails and stinky ponds where you are.
Dear Dong Suk, what can I say about you? You were my first real repsponsibility. My first pure love. It sounds terrible to say, but it's true. Human love is always tainted with... stuff, even when you really love someone. I remember when I first had you, a fluffy little white puppy, scared and timid. Right away I loved you so much. In one moment, it occurred to me how devastated I’d be if something happened to you. I thought, this is what it must be to have children. I couldn’t bear what it must be like to have children and the WORRY that you must feel, trying to protect the innocent. Of course I realized a big difference between a child and a dog is that the dog WILL die before you most likely. That’s why they are so precious. W jokes around when I ask him why he loves you more than me. He says he’ll have more time with me. Your life is shorter. It’s a joke, but is it? These are the things that people don’t talk about. I don’t even mind that my spouse loves my dog more than me because I don’t blame him. Anyway, Dong Suk, everybody loves you. You are sweet; you are smart. You are special. The best is walking or running down the street with you and seeing the reaction that you get from people. They smile.
Dear Tiger, you were my big regret. You weren’t meant for the world of people. W brought you, a tiny kitten home on a hot, humid night, well morning, after a big night of drinking. I was mad at first because I took it as a consequence of stupid things people do when they’ve had too much to drink. Anyway, you gravitated to me. I took care of you, but you had a mind of your own. You needed the outdoor space even when we tried to deny you. Man, you were a killer! You brought in animals live and finished them off in the house. I’ll also never forget the time you ate an entire large pizza. My worry, my regret was when we had to leave and tried to take you. You didn’t take it too well. I didn’t know what to do and I cried for days when you ran away. Now, I know that it was the best thing. Buddy, I still love you, no matter where you are. I have a feeling that you are well. You are in a place where there is plenty of prey and not many predators. Here’s to you, Tiger!
Dear Butterscotch and Lacey, you were born in a house full of cats. S didn’t even know that your mother was female. W wanted to take a couple of kittens so that S would be less of the “crazy cat lady” in her neighborhood. Anyway, to be honest, I wasn’t that keen. W chose you guys carefully. He wanted two that were friends. When you arrived in the truck, in a box, I looked at you, and sure you were cute, but I was thinking, is this what we really need at this time? That time... was a really bad spring for me. It was a desperate time for me, trying to stop myself from crying even when I was walking down the street. I had a stretch where I cried every day. Butterscotch and Lacey, I can honestly say at that there were times that you were the best part of my life. That might sound pathetic but it’s true. You were always running around, playing, loving each other, and Butterscotch, you ooze so much love it’s disgusting! The guy downstairs wanted us to discipline you more. How could I? Who could be upset over the sound of your light paws chasing around on wood floors? To me, it was the sound of pure joy. And I needed this joy any way I could get it. The sound of joy. I remember the first time we finally let you, Butterscotch on our bed to sleep. You were so happy your purr was as loud as a lawnmower. You are always waking me up, but I don’t mind. I need it.