Am I right to be upset given these circumstances?

You have the right to be upset about anything you want to be upset about. The question is what are you going to do about it? Are you willing to ditch her?

How good is the sex?

0/10

Almost identical post several weeks ago.

A.) Could see her being upset, mainly because you did tell her you would, and she probably planned for it. Not saying she should be very upset, but a little bit is understandable.

B.) It's a 25 dollar parking ticket. Who cares?

C.) Why'd you agree to do this if it costs you too much and you'll miss a race? I think that would be your own fault for planning it.

D.) I know there was no D, but assuming she can't walk 10 miles, she must be really out of shape, probably fat. Way to be banging a porker. I guess I'd be upset for messing around with a fat chick, so I guess there is a reason to be upset.

getting upset wrote:

My gf has been pissing me off a little almost every time we've hung out the last few months, and I have kind of reached a breaking point.

First off, gf is a dude, he is not "yours", and he was born in this country. And he certainly wouldn't have trouble hiking 10 miles. If you can't even get your facts straight you have no excuse to be upset.

Golllly, you sound dickless, man!

If your girl is being a bitch and treating you like garbage, break up with her! Plain and simple. People don't change, so if you can't see yourself enduring bratty behavior forever, just get it over with sooner rather than later.

This is typical behavior by the way. You seem like a real nice guy, doing all this stuff constantly for this girl. What are you getting out of the relationship? Anything? Not trying to sound like a cliche machismo retard here, but keep your girl in line! Don't let her walk all over you! In the museum, why didn't you say, "Alright then, princess, enjoy the 150 mile walk back home because I'm leaving so that I don't get a freeaaaking ticket!"...? Instead, you tucked your twig and berries between your legs and just absorbed the blow.

You can't let her walk all over you. You need to flex your nuts every once in while.

And one more thing: who spends 20 hours planning a spring break road trip? That seems ridiculous.

You really need to step and look at the mirror.

1.She probablly really wanted to go on the mountain trip and made plans for it and then you tell her you cant go.

2. You see a museum 2.5 hours away and your worried about a 25 dollar parking ticket, who cares. If you were that worried about money you shouldn't have driven 2.5 hours away. The gas alone probably cost you 30 dollars

3. Who cares if she doesn't want to go walking to make sure she could handle it. She's an adult she can make her own decisions. If she feels she can handle it then so be it.

You seem really controlling and possessive. Maybe she acts this way because you are so demanding and possessive. Take a gut check and realize what you are doing. Relationship are two way streets not a way one way avenue for 'getting upset' to cruise down. If I were the girl I would dump your needy whiny butt in a minute. Get real dude.

You sound like a really nice guy, and you deserve better.

Sounds like you're both doing plenty of activities together, but that you both don't have your heart in the same activities at the same time. I don't see a point in doing all these things together if you're trying to get X out of it and she's trying to get Y out of it.

It's also clear that you're doing all the work and she's reaping the benefits. Get a girl who will meet you half way and you'll be much happier.

Talking with her about it is just going to show how much of a wuss you really are. You're just giving her an opportunity for excuses or yourself another chance to back off and give in. You already have enough information.

Give her a PBR then break up with her. It will lessen the blow.

1) She did really want to go, that's why I was so apologetic even though things were out of my control. We rescheduled and did it a different weekend.

2) I am on a tight budget and am already spending more on her than I can afford. $25 is significant, but it's more of the principle that she did not care about any of my concerns even though I was doing this for her.

3) She is not fat, but she does not exercise at all. 20 miles of hiking in two days for someone who doesn't exercise at all might be quite a bit. Again, it's the principle that I'm doing a ton for this trip and she won't do anything.

How am I controlling and possessive for doing everything I can for her and asking only some common respect in return? Care to explain? I don't ask her for anything. All I expect is for her to appreciate what I do for her.

And to the other guy on the amount of time planning, it's a trip including around 35hrs of driving (5.5 days) and about 11 different sites out of a possible 20 or so. Since we are on a somewhat tight schedule if we want to see a lot, I have to plan out carefully how long we'll stay at each place (roughly), and get maps of places so I can know beforehand what we're going to do at each place. Some places also require permits, are only open during certain hours, etc, so there's a fair amount to know beforehand. I had the trip all planned out when she said she wanted to see X, which was out of the way and completely changed everything else, so I had to re-do the whole thing.

Also, I try to be a nice guy, but I have said things here and there but she doesn't seem to learn. It's not so much that she's intentionally trying to be disrespectful, just that she doesn't really understand. That's what this talk is about.

My girlfriend would have kicked me in the balls for telling her to train for some dumb little hike. I don't want her telling me what to do, and I'm sure as hell not going to be her personal trainer.

And if a man can't just drop a few things to head to the mountain with his gal then he need to changes his outlook on life.

Your only young once, so put a little extra change in your parking meter, tell your mom you'll see her one of these days, and go do something fun with whatever chick is into you at the time!

When putting money in the parking meter, I suggested we put in more but she said "no, no, this will fine. We'll do it this amount of time."

And failing two tests (when there was only 3 in either class) to go screw off for a day? Really? I'm completely unreasonable for not wanting to get C's in two classes when I can simply reschedule and screw off at a better time? Really? So if you have a job interview and your girl wants to go have lunch at the same time, you just blow it off?

I do these things for her because I care about her and want her to be happy. It's upsetting to me when she treats me like I'm a jerk when I do everything that I can for her. And that's unreasonable?

If petty crap like this gets you upset then you're in no position to be in a relationship. Play some damage control (it appears you try, maybe too hard), but don't let the bitch walk all over you. You need to relax and not put so much stake in the "effort" you put into the relationship. You said it yourself... "she doesn't seem to learn." She doesn't need to learn dick, she just needs a different boyfriend. I wouldn't keep her around. Dump her before she dumps you.

getting upset wrote:

When putting money in the parking meter, I suggested we put in more but she said "no, no, this will fine. We'll do it this amount of time."

And failing two tests (when there was only 3 in either class) to go screw off for a day? Really? I'm completely unreasonable for not wanting to get C's in two classes when I can simply reschedule and screw off at a better time? Really? So if you have a job interview and your girl wants to go have lunch at the same time, you just blow it off?

I do these things for her because I care about her and want her to be happy. It's upsetting to me when she treats me like I'm a jerk when I do everything that I can for her. And that's unreasonable?

I was originally on your side. After your responses, I'm not so sure.

getting upset wrote:

I do everything that I can for her.

Then don't. Sounds like she's got you by the balls.

Do you even really enjoy her company? It sounds like whenever you are doing something with her, or planning something with her, you are worried about how it's going to go or how she's going to react. Do you guys ever have a good time just hanging out, doing simple things like watching movies or sharing a meal? Maybe you do have fun together and you're just mentioning the stuff that causes conflict, but what you have to ask yourself is whether you really enjoy each others' company without it being dependent on some elaborately planned trip or outing (or sex...sorry, had to throw that in there). If not, it seems like you're putting a lot of worry and effort into this without much point.

It's threads like these that make me thankful for the girlfriend I have.

What country is she from? She sounds very type B & you sound very type A. Most other countries aren't near as uptight as Americans & think we're high strung by worrying about things such as time on a parking meter, & a future test.

I doubt she'll change, & I'd be pissed if I was you. Next time find a thinking woman who has a similar personality as yours.

CCMom wrote:

Do you even really enjoy her company? It sounds like whenever you are doing something with her, or planning something with her, you are worried about how it's going to go or how she's going to react. Do you guys ever have a good time just hanging out, doing simple things like watching movies or sharing a meal? Maybe you do have fun together and you're just mentioning the stuff that causes conflict, but what you have to ask yourself is whether you really enjoy each others' company without it being dependent on some elaborately planned trip or outing (or sex...sorry, had to throw that in there). If not, it seems like you're putting a lot of worry and effort into this without much point.

Yes, very good point. We do greatly enjoy each other's company, even during "that time of the month," even when we're just shopping at Wal-mart. Come to think of it, actual "events" seem to be the main source of conflict in our relationship. She really enjoys the events, but she takes them for granted almost like I owe them to her, which is kind of upsetting. Like I said, I don't ask her for anything. I do things for her because I want her to be happy and have eventful memories of her time while she's in America. All I expect is to be treated with common respect, which I would expect from any friend or significant other. I do everything I can for her and she acts like I'm a jerk for not doing even more. I'm not perfect, but I never raise my voice to her, I never intentionally try to upset her, I will even end arguments just because I don't want to argue with her. Coming here to letsrun and being told by everyone I AM in the wrong when I'm putting everything I can into someone I care about is pretty defeating.