Survey: How many of you married men or women have/ had affairs?

47 wrote:

Wow oh wow. I never would have thought in my wildest guesses that so many people would have had affairs. Hopefully only the people who are having affairs are the ones posting...

1) Rough count of posts here show nearly 2-1 in favor of no affairs/affairs are NOT ok. So, I don't see how some are complaining about "everyone having affairs", "losing faith in men"...

2) For those who express surprise that just as many women "cheat" as men I have one question - Who the hell do you think the men are cheating with? Get a clue - the numbers are nearly guaranteed to be pretty close.

Carry on.

Tiger Woods

Married 8 years now. Never cheated and never will. My wife doesn't always put-out as often as I want either. She's not perfect and neither am I. I still love her and I love our kids. There is no way in hell that I am selfish enough to jeopardise my family just to get my rocks off. It wouldn't be fair to my wife or to the kids. Many of you cheaters may think differently when you see how your kids react to the family being torn apart by divorce.

happily married wrote:

This is the way I feel and I've always felt from before I was married.

Is this the way SHE would feel? If so then why hide it?

I do not feel it's wrong and sleep well at night (with my head next to my wife's).

I feel sorry for the poor wretch.

The fact that she would not agree is irrelevant to me.

Then you have no respect for your wife and do not treat her as an equal. She would kick your weak ass to the curb if she found out you were cheating. You DARE not tell her.

I feel real badly for the poster who saw his parents melting down. That story has bothered me all day. You, sir are a f***ing prick of major proportions. Your wife deserves better and you have no business being MARRIED at all.

The Judge wrote:

[quote]happily married wrote:

[quote]bigger picture wrote:

The crux of the matter is honesty and integrity. Every person deserves to know the truth about things that they consider important.

2) It is not acceptable to effectively lie (by omission) to your spouse about something that they consider important.

This is the crux of the matter.

And the reality is that you don't have the balls to face your wife after telling her the truth. Everything else is just the rationalization of a coward.

So we can assume you totally honest about everything you do and think with your spouse?

Or is sex the only thing you need to be honest about? You again fall victim to attributing a ridiculous importance on sex and pretend the areas you choose to lie about (by omission perhaps) are not as important. You're a victim of a culture that id fixated by sex.

Relationships require dishonesty and you can easily forget about your dishonesty because you feel "it is different." Get off your high horse.

Dee Penny Trayshun wrote:

and in most cases it was the male. The female moved on.

Who can claim to be a loving father with that action thrown into the face of their children? Kids grow up and call that bullshit, realizing that their dad was nothing more than a pile of shit.

You and 47 need to study up on who cheats. The stats show the vast majority of married people do. So all of you who are so convinced that your faithful or your spouse ought to reflect on the reality, Humans are NOT monogamous and should face this reality and simply be honest with their mates and decide that occasional sex elsewhre is what makes peole happy and satisfied.

Reality is tough when your culture tries to deny it. Biology wins every time.

He married her, he did enough for her to marry him that should be enough for her to put out FOREVER!!!!

End the marriage ya sick f***s, don't cheat on your poor and faithful spouse! How weak and stupid are you? You entered into a marriage contract willingly, honor it or get out! If it wasn't for you (and happily married knew this from the outset) then don't get married.

Even if you are in a polygamous marriage (harhar bigger picture my ass) your kids are getting a shitty example for parenting. I guarantee if mr. 'happily married' told his wife what was going on, or if she found out about his little hooker indiscretions on her own (worse consequences) she would end it.

He is hiding it from her because he KNOWS it is wrong. He would DIE if she found out. I think 'happily married' is Eddy Hellybuck. He uses the same rationale as Eddy H. the doper and his sidekick Chhris Moulton.

f*** it, I think happily married is worth a 5/10. Nice troll job, you can't be legitimate.

If you feel like cheating, you aren't running enough miles

happily married wrote:

Sagarin wrote:

Just remember, there's a higher court

Sorry, I don't believe in your magical fairy creatures that judge you after you die and decide if you are worthy of heaven.

Of course you don't. If you did, then you would be compelled to change your behavior, and you don't want to change your behavior.

Ok, add me to the list of people who are sticking up for "happily married" (whether his scenario is real or hypothetical). Not saying he's hall-of-fame husband material, but it seems unbelievably naive to condemn the guy on the basis of a few anonymous hand jobs scattered over 15 years. Are any of you haters actually married??

And to compare him to Eddy H is totally bogus. It's a statistical certainty that a substantial portion of the Let's Run readership either has cheated on their significant others or will, whereas almost none of us have doped or will do so.

As for keeping it secret, every relationship depends on the finding the right balance between honesty and ignorance. For example, does your spouse know what you really think about their family members? Would it improve your relationship if they did?? Keeping quiet about something in a relationship is not automatically a sign that you've done wrong.

happily married wrote:Sorry, I don't believe in your magical fairy creatures that judge you after you die and decide if you are worthy of heaven.

Of course you don't. If you did, then you would be compelled to change your behavior, and you don't want to change your behavior.

biological male wrote:

So how many of you have had or currently have affairs with other another person(s)? Do you feel guilty? Once you do it is it easier to do from then on? Any tips on how not to get caught or rules that you follow so as not to be caught? And what caused you to seek satisfaction from other people in the first place?

Yes, I've cheated.

Yes, I've felt guilty, but not very often, surprisingly.

No, I haven't been caught yet.

But your questions suggest you're focused on the potential downsides of feeling guilty or getting caught. Big mistake. Because those aren't the real downsides.

The real downside is that cheating could well make you less happy, even if you don't feel guilty or get caught. That's my experience, and from what I've read, it's true for many others as well.

It would take too long to fully explain that, if I even could. But cheating has cheapened the relationships I do have. Nobody gets to know all of me. It has made me distrustful. It's actually disrupted my training. The list of "cons" goes on from there, and no, I'm not religious at all, nor do I believe in karma. On the "pro" side is some good sex, but it's really not been worth all the bother.

Sometimes by trying for "more" you end up with less. The relationship equivalent of overtraining, I suppose.

secret of restraint wrote:

If you feel like cheating, you aren't running enough miles

Ding ding ding! We have a winner!

On average, at least, distance runners have lower testosterone levels, which are one of the prompts to, uh, broadcasting one's seed. And higher mileage (on average) tends to further lower testosterone levels.

bigger picture wrote:

The stats show the vast majority of married people do.

You don't get to make a claim like that without backing it up.

Show us the statistics or stop making up stuff.

"Although extramarital sex may be the marital activity most often cloaked in secrecy, empirical estimates of affairs over the course of a marriage range from 30 to 60% for men and from 20 to 50% for women"

That's far from a "vast majority"

if i found my wife in bed with another man, id go get my gun, but i wouldnt kill him. id kill her and the man would become my best friend.

FaithfulNoChoice wrote:

I'd imagine that the Letsrun crowd would skew more faithful than the average population because, as Adam Sandler said in Funny People, "It's easy not to cheat when no one wants to f*ck you".

"A man's only as faithful as his options."--Chris Rock.

La Banger wrote: I did my part by telling her my desires and feelings, it was up to her to follow through.

ewwww!

is that your way of getting her back? she won't take a dump on you, so you take a dump on your marriage?

Blame it on "Desperate Housewives"