Well, the OP is a douche, but he brings up something that I conferred about with a mate the other day...
In the Southern US, upper-class whites raise their sons to be sports fans as opposed to athletes. I am not sure if this is a new thing, or if it has been this way for a while.
As I was having dinner with my wife at the country club the other night, a friend of ours made a statement along the lines of, "I'll see to it that my son knows more about NFL football than any of his friends so he can rule the fantasy draft every year." Another friend's wife piped in with a comment along the lines of "You are just like my brother. All you care about is sports. What a bunch of jocks."
The funny thing is that neither of these guys are jocks or ever have been jocks. They are both fat, lazy and uncoordinated. Great guys, though. I love them.
In Southern, upper-class culture, fat guys who know about sports are now the athletes (jocks).
I think it is hilarious.