Parents (or others): Have you ever let your daughter stay with a male friend?

You are worrying too much. Chances are your daughter is intelligent enough to avoid any potentially "bad" situations or, if she happens to stumble into one, she'll know how to get out of it quickly.

And if she's going to be in college now, you're just going to have to accept that she might be sleeping at a random place every now and then. It doesn't mean she's doing anything bad or putting herself in danger, it's just what happens in college. Better to crash on a random couch than get into a car.

She'll be in college in a few days. If she wants to, she'll be able to do pretty much everything you don't want her to. Do you really think staying with a friend for a few days is that big a deal?

Mom I am concerned that you post on letsrun with this sesitive problem for advice. Now many might think this means you are a troll.

I think it just means you are a mom with limited judgement. Ask the older boy if he thinks it OK to do. He might know more about that stuff and what is appropriate.

I'd be more worried if he was a pimp

I have actually never met who she is staying with (I haven't met most of her friends actually), she has just told me about him. She is just crashing on the couch like you said.

I'm not a "troll", I posted this on Letsrun because I thought there would be people with similar experiences who might share.

Is she Team Edward or Team Cullen?

Your daughter is an adult, she no longer needs your permission for a sleepover. Whether anything you disapprove of happens or not it is not your decision to make. Plus, she is just as likely to make a bad choice while staying with a female friend.

That being said, just because they are opposite sex and staying under the same roof doesn't mean she will come home prego. While in college I lived with a girl for a year, we were just roommates we both dated other people at different times during the year. Sometimes friends of the opposite sex would stay in my bed and we would not do anything but sleep.

College is kind of a communal living environment. Most of us make it out ok.

I wouldn't worry about her having sex. Worry about her friend's habits. If he was good enough to make the team but didn't, maybe there's a reason. If he is a drug user, ask your daughter not to stay with him. There is a chance that she might try something or be in the presence of something being done and have something terrible like police showing up happen. College can turn you in different directions. It happened to be a girl who got me involved in drugs in college so it's a two way street. Just worry about potential drug and alcohol use (though she'll be highly exposed to alcohol use certainly once the school year starts).

I call troll because if your daughter really was going to college a few days early because she was running on the team, the dorms would be open for athletes coming back early. There is no way that a coach would expect an athlete (especially a freshman) to come to school 3 days early without a place to stay.

Listen here, momma. Your daughter is going off to college and that means she's gonna get railed by all kinds of guys. If she was decent looking, went to my school, and I had a class with her, I'd probably end up railing her too. The only chance you have is if she's fugly, otherwise, accept the fact she's going to be screaming god's name on Friday and Saturday nights rather than Sunday mornings. Probably best just to keep your nose out of other people's sexual business.

In regards to your question, she may or may not let her male friend give her the ol' freshman girl away-from-home-and-lonely orientation. If it bothers you, try not to think about it.

lol

derrr wrote:

I call troll because if your daughter really was going to college a few days early because she was running on the team, the dorms would be open for athletes coming back early. There is no way that a coach would expect an athlete (especially a freshman) to come to school 3 days early without a place to stay.

Not always true. I know of several schools where the coach required athletes for a fall sport to be on campus but the school wouldn't let them in the dorms. Stupid, but it happens.

2.5/10

Spiritual Runner wrote:

I wouldn't worry about her having sex. Worry about her friend's habits. If he was good enough to make the team but didn't, maybe there's a reason. If he is a drug user, ask your daughter not to stay with him. There is a chance that she might try something or be in the presence of something being done and have something terrible like police showing up happen. College can turn you in different directions. It happened to be a girl who got me involved in drugs in college so it's a two way street. Just worry about potential drug and alcohol use (though she'll be highly exposed to alcohol use certainly once the school year starts).

Wow, so because the guy didn't want to make the commitment required by collegiate running he's a drug addict? Quite the leap...

PDubbs wrote:

Spiritual Runner wrote:

I wouldn't worry about her having sex. Worry about her friend's habits. If he was good enough to make the team but didn't, maybe there's a reason. If he is a drug user, ask your daughter not to stay with him. There is a chance that she might try something or be in the presence of something being done and have something terrible like police showing up happen. College can turn you in different directions. It happened to be a girl who got me involved in drugs in college so it's a two way street. Just worry about potential drug and alcohol use (though she'll be highly exposed to alcohol use certainly once the school year starts).

Wow, so because the guy didn't want to make the commitment required by collegiate running he's a drug addict? Quite the leap...

I said MAYBE there was a reason. I would just want to make sure my daughter wasn't doing drugs.

Wow this thread has snowballed! What can I expect, I knew what I was getting into posting it on here...

To clarify, I am very positive my daughter doesn't do drugs and she is a good student. And I'm quite sure she would not be friends with a drug user either. He did not run for the team because he is doing a hard major and also has a job. This is also a fairly selective university (if US news rankings are anything to go by, it ranks in the top 40 or top 30), so I'm sure he was a good student in high school as well.

I doubt anything will "happen", I am sure they are sleeping in separate rooms, but it still is a bit uncomfortable to know that she is staying with him. I would have preferred a female friend (but she did not have any female friends who are there right now).

Ok mom, here's the deal:

She's an adult now, and she's going to be alone at college without your supervision for the next four+ years. If her college experience is anything like mine has been, she'll go to parties with people she probably shouldn't, sleep in places you'd be shocked to learn about, do plenty of things she'll probably regret, and you won't even have the slightest idea. Most likely, it will make her stronger and wiser.

She'll have to make her own calls about who to trust, and who to stay away from. Chances are this guy friend of hers is perfectly fine. Most are. If he really is a bad apple, and she trusts him anyways, as your mothering instincts compel you to fear, then he's the least of your worries...

Spiritual Runner = Psycho controlling parent

I'd be more worried about the guy than the girl. It has been scientifically proven that the female charms of an attractive lady are irresistible to males of our species.