Guys who proposed: did you ask her father for approval?

In this day and age it is done less. I would think you should be able to know since you know the dad and her family.

You should ask him. It's respectful and classy. You shouldn't ask on the phone, though. If you plan to do it over the phone don't even bother. You should ask him in person.

It's a classy move and there's really no downside if you get along with your future father-in-law. Although, if you can, I would do it in person. It is respectful. Keep it short and sweet and he'll appreciate it. Spare him the sales pitch about yourself and he won't think it's weird. I asked permission and it was definitely a good move.

It really isn't expected any more, but I think it is always appreciated. I was 30 and my wife was 29 when we got engaged, but I still sat down with her mother and asked for her permission. It sets up a foundation of respect between you and her family. I would say do it.

Yes, I did ask my wife's father first. I doubt that anyone would think of it as "weird." I think that asking the father is also about making a positive impression with the mother as well. Given that you indicate she has a normal family, and you get along well with her father, it seems likely that only positive outcomes can result from asking her parents for her hand.

If possible to ask face-to-face though, I feel that is more appropriate than over the phone. If you made a secret road-trip to visit the parents in person to formally ask, it will score you major bonus points with your future family and fiancé as a romantic gesture. It should not matter that you do not know the parents as well yet, because you will grow to know them very well over the coming years.

I asked him and he told me NO, so I says well she gonna marry me anyways no matter what.

I married the Beeitch anyways. She my lady and dats dat.

This comes up once a week on these forums.

Yes, ask him. Make it respectful. She is not a horse, so make it more of a "heads up" than asking for permission, but do it in a polite way.

"Mr Smith, I plan to ask Sarah to marry me next week, and I wanted to make sure you and Mrs. Smith were aware that I was going to do so. I hope this comes as good news to the two of you, as I love your daughter and plan to treat her very well."

Something like that.

Meet for a drink, buy the drink. NO GIFTS!!!!!

I agree that it would be courteous and classy. But I like traditions so do what you want. It is America.

You shouldn't ask his permission because you don't need it.

it depends on the dad

If I live on the east coast and the father lives in Alaska and mother in Seattle, do I still have to do this in person?

I dropped the ball on that one. My mother-in-law, God rest her soul, would occasionally remind of that failure on my part. She was right.

My wife's mom lived in communist Russia and her Dad lived on Mercury but I decided to go ask both and I didn't regret it. Make an effort and they'll both be impressed.

i would ask, but don't expect it to be some perfect customary experience. Also, if she has multiple sisters, her dad may own a polygraph machine..

Expect some tough questions like:

1) How many times have you had sex with my daughter?

2) Has my daughter every had an abortion?

3) How many girls have you have sex in the last 3 yrs?

4) Have you ever kissed or had sex with a boy?

5) Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and Groom?

6) Do you love Jesus more than you love my daughter?

And those are the easy questions...

Ginned Up wrote:

This comes up once a week on these forums.

Yes, ask him. Make it respectful. She is not a horse, so make it more of a "heads up" than asking for permission, but do it in a polite way.

"Mr Smith, I plan to ask Sarah to marry me next week, and I wanted to make sure you and Mrs. Smith were aware that I was going to do so. I hope this comes as good news to the two of you, as I love your daughter and plan to treat her very well."

Something like that.

Meet for a drink, buy the drink. NO GIFTS!!!!!

Exactly. Asking for her hand implies that her hand is his to give. It is not. Politely informing him is the classy thing to do.

I asked, and my father-in-law said, "I have two rules. Don't get pregnant before you get married, and none of this divorce sh!t." Words to live by.

He doesn't speak any English and I don't speak any Chinese, so no.

It strikes me as a pretty wierd tradition. Perhaps if the woman is still living at home or is from a very traditional background, but even then I wouldn't ask the dad first. Pop the question, get your "yes", and then perhaps ask the father for his "permission". Ultimately it's not his call (and if it *is* his call then you need to get as far away from that family as possible).

Whip out your c*ck so he can see what you are packing for his little girl. That should seal the deal.

Dont ask him, he might kick your ass, like what happened to me.