Steven R wrote: I can't even count the number of times I've heard "you're such an amazing guy...how could you be an atheist?"
This is a good thing. These type of women are not the ones you want to be married to anyway.
Steven R wrote: I can't even count the number of times I've heard "you're such an amazing guy...how could you be an atheist?"
midwaste wrote:
Steven R wrote: I can't even count the number of times I've heard "you're such an amazing guy...how could you be an atheist?"
This is a good thing. These type of women are not the ones you want to be married to anyway.
I find this whole thread disgusting. I am a proud librarian and I can not change that I am what God made me. When I was ten I had fantasies about Dewey Decimal and I often would be found wearing glasses with a chain on them and forced my friends to speak in hushed tones as to not disturb others. My parents disowned me after repeatedly trying to force me to hang out a Barnes and Nobles and other "stores" but I got a thrill every time I took something out for free even if I had to pay late fines!
Just come out and say it; I am a Librarian and I need LOVE! Don't worry about what others might say we are one big sequentially organized community of friends. Letsrun has always shown a distinct phobia to us librarians but I will not be silenced and neither should you!
bootsie wrote:
i tried marriage in my 20's. didn't take. i wouldn't do it again. you and i share some similar beliefs (i don't want kids, and i'm an athiest). that said, i most certainly DO like to party, and i'm about as left-wing politically as you can get without being deported. my solution? i pretty much only date girls in their early-mid 20's (i'm 38). at that stage of the game, they are into partying, not being too serious, wayyy too young to feel their biological clocks ticking, and they are of the generation that is too sophisticated to fall for the whole religion trip. plus, they are generally more politically left than women my age. since i'm a runner, i'm in better shape than most dudes their age, and i'm over the whole 20's angst thing, so they get a somewhat emotionally stable (and financially stable) dude. i realize that this lifestyle isn't for everyone, but you might consider it, if you get older and realize that your priorities are still the same. pity about the drinking thing though.... that WILL limit your opportunities somewhat. just being honest.
wednesday wrote:
And stop saying women in "DC" are the problem: i.e. religious, drinking, anti-libertarian baby machines. DC is a prime place to meet open minded, anti-big government, athiest career women who don't want kids - other than NY and Cali, I can't think of a better place to do so.
oh please wrote:
midwaste wrote:
Steven R wrote: I can't even count the number of times I've heard "you're such an amazing guy...how could you be an atheist?"
This is a good thing. These type of women are not the ones you want to be married to anyway.
Come on. Steven R is making that up. Where is he meeting women at a Christian bible camp? Honestly, how many of us have ever had a woman reject us because we were atheists, or agnostics, or non-practising? Ridiculous.
To the OP: Did you grow up as a Christian and become an atheist later in life? I used to feel much the same way that you do. I'm a childfree atheist and not much of a drinker, but I didn't make a complete split from the church until I was in my mid-20s. For quite a while after that, I felt like I was a total anomaly, the only woman in the world who didn't love Jesus and want children. This wasn't totally irrational- after all, the day I left the church, I was almost the only person in MY world who didn't want those things. I knew how to meet and socialize with Christians- I understood the rules. It took a while to learn how to reach out to a more diverse group of people- and not just in drinking-centric activities.
If this isn't your problem, why don't you go where you KNOW that there are likeminded people (at least in one aspect, but narrowing it down even that much is huge)- volunteer for the Libertarian party, go to a Freethinkers or a No Kidding (childfree) meetup, join an activity group whose activities aren't centered around drinking...
So far I've only been dumped because I was not an atheist. Therefore, Steve R is full of it.
Captain Reality wrote:
I'm 26 and have never met anyone I want to marry, and I don't think I ever will. I'm too independent and solitary. Some people just aren't meant for marriage and I'm one of them. Plus I hate my family and am not excited about starting my own.
yetanotherchick wrote:
To the OP: Did you grow up as a Christian and become an atheist later in life? I used to feel much the same way that you do. I'm a childfree atheist and not much of a drinker, but I didn't make a complete split from the church until I was in my mid-20s. For quite a while after that, I felt like I was a total anomaly, the only woman in the world who didn't love Jesus and want children. This wasn't totally irrational- after all, the day I left the church, I was almost the only person in MY world who didn't want those things. I knew how to meet and socialize with Christians- I understood the rules. It took a while to learn how to reach out to a more diverse group of people- and not just in drinking-centric activities.
If this isn't your problem, why don't you go where you KNOW that there are likeminded people (at least in one aspect, but narrowing it down even that much is huge)- volunteer for the Libertarian party, go to a Freethinkers or a No Kidding (childfree) meetup, join an activity group whose activities aren't centered around drinking...
[quote]Steven R wrote:
Flagpole, you would think that political leanings are not that big a deal, but as I mentioned before, I live in D.C., and this is a major issue for women I meet. [quote]
I am sorry if I do not have sympothy for you Steven. You see, you living in D.C. definately makes it easy for you to find a woman who accepts who you are. I mean seriously man, D.C. has a population of what? The answer is 5.3 MILLION! Quit bitching and find a woman if you want too. There is no way that with your pick of 5.3 million people you can't find one who will accept you. And your four "hurdles" are quite weak. There must be more to it than just those four and you aren't being honest with yourself.
You have a hard time meeting someone in D.C. with 5.3 million in population???? Try living in a small town where you only have 20k population to choose from.
Oh and to prove that there is more to your problem than your 4 hurdles... everyone knows women who are in LOVE with someone doesn't care about their "flaws". Women are creatures who overlook and justify man's shortcomings (I should know, I'm the biggest ass hole around. No woman in their right mind would be with me, yet I've had plenty of women wanting to marry me throughout my adult life).... ONLY if they are in love with the man. Your problem is simply that women don't love you.
Oh, and to your four clauses... mine go like this...
1. I'm an alcoholic.
2. I have no kids and am snipped to prove that I don't want kids.
3. I'm an atheist as well.
4. I'm a libertarian as well.
And I can marry a chick right now if I wanted too. But why would you want to get married if you don't want kids? The only purpose of marrying is to have a family. No kids = no family, or at least not in the full. So why do you wish to be married? And do you seriously not want kids? Are you snipped? If not, then you DO want kids because you are leaving that door of possibility open. I think you are just bitching. Because you'd be snipped if you truelly didn't want kids, and if you are then why get married? Just have relationships and companionship with women and not marry. No big deal unless you want kids.
Oh... and 5.3 MILLION!!!!! And you are bitching about not being able to find a woman.... wow, that's pathetic, how many more do you need in your pool?
you couldn't be more OTM...Michael Jackson even wrote an anthem for us: "Librarian Girl"
my gf has a whooty wrote:
I'm the biggest ass hole around.
Steven R wrote:
The fact that I posted this on a public forum is a sign that I'm NOT taking this too seriously. If this was something that was dragging me down I'd be looking for ways to change or seeking help from more qualified individuals. Instead, I was simply looking for what other runners had to say.
Steven R wrote:
I guess it's a good thing that I don't care what you believe.
Steven R wrote:
The only posters I've "belittled" were the ones who have questioned my honesty and/or self-reflection.
what I think wrote:
For the record, I myself have been dumped for being an atheist except that I'm smart enough and honest enough to know that that wasn't the real reason. That was just a way for her to let me down easy without addressing any of my actual character flaws. What really happened was that we had a good thing going and I blew it by being too self-centred. Sound familiar?
that was me wrote:
I could have written that post at age 26, except for the part about having no problems meeting women. Now, I'm a few years older and very happily married. My wife and I match up on all 4 except #3. Life happens fast. It just takes one. You'll be fine.
Steven R wrote:
what I think wrote:
For the record, I myself have been dumped for being an atheist except that I'm smart enough and honest enough to know that that wasn't the real reason. That was just a way for her to let me down easy without addressing any of my actual character flaws. What really happened was that we had a good thing going and I blew it by being too self-centred. Sound familiar?
No.
Steven R wrote:
Flagpole, you would think that political leanings are not that big a deal, but as I mentioned before, I live in D.C., and this is a major issue for women I meet. I avoid talking about politics (and religion) at all costs, but as a relationship progresses, these subjects come up.
The poster who mentioned women working at NASA might be onto something. I would be very interested in meeting women who work in the scientific community. I just haven't met any single ones yet.
I am a liberal. And I am attracted to a socialist government. I don't think that's being hypocritical... but I'm not super involved in politics- so maybe I am getting myself confused. To further clarify: I'm liberal in that I believe in a progressive government. I'm a socialist in terms of health care and that I don't believe in depriving basal medical assistance to those who can't afford it. I guess technically that involves a government that provides for those less fortunate, and in that respect, it's a more invasive system than libertarians affiliate toward- and maybe there are some contradictions in that. But... ideally, I suppose a hybrid government would have potential for success. I don't know...
To the dude who claims there is no population crisis- WAKE UP. Starvation is not a matter of food production or global circulation of food. The earth cannot feed an infinite number of mouths. Today, the number of people in the world is unsustainable. That isn't debatable.
Also- religion is not logical or reasonable. I don't believe 2+2=4 because it was drilled into my head and I've been brainwashed to believe that. It isn't circular that simple addition adds up. It's fact. Fact: there is no evidence of an omnipotent omnipresent force in our universe. There is no evidence of a supreme being that has a plan for all of us. I don't want to turn this thread into a religious debate- and I'm sure what I'm saying wont sit well with everyone, but just to defend my earlier post, I do NOT believe 2+2=4 because I read in a book written 2000 years ago. I believe it because it's irrefutable.
Flagpole wrote:
Steven R wrote:
Flagpole, you would think that political leanings are not that big a deal, but as I mentioned before, I live in D.C., and this is a major issue for women I meet. I avoid talking about politics (and religion) at all costs, but as a relationship progresses, these subjects come up.
The poster who mentioned women working at NASA might be onto something. I would be very interested in meeting women who work in the scientific community. I just haven't met any single ones yet.
I used to live in Maryland and worked in DC, so I know what you mean about the more liberal bent there, so why not seek out some women who live in Virginia? If being married or on the path to being married is really a goal of yours, then make it happen brother! Online dating...find a woman in Virginia that's close enough to you so that you can date her. You telling me there aren't any more conservative women living in Alexandria? Hop on that Blue Line and have a date my brother!