Some Advice,
Not the sympathy fest you were hoping for is it. But some sound advice has been given. Will you follow it or look for a more sympathetic audience?
Some Advice,
Not the sympathy fest you were hoping for is it. But some sound advice has been given. Will you follow it or look for a more sympathetic audience?
Seriously? People think curfews for ADULT athletes are a good idea? You think bed checks aren't really weird? This is a college team - the coach should trust the athletes to stick to a good schedule, and if they don't, it's there loss when they start to run poorly. Never mind the sexual harassment, why would you ever put up with a coach who clearly has no trust in his athletes. And don't argue that maybe they haven't earned it - crap like bed checks isn't an inconvenience that you have to earn your way out off. Perv is probably trying to catch his athletes in the sack with chicks.
Wow, OP, I'm sorry you have to go through this crap with your coach and I agree with JR. In addition, I'm disappointed with the coaches ("upstate assistant") on this thread who are calling you names and are on your coach's side just because they have the same job. Weird. The sexual jokes and bed checking have to go...what a creep :(
Document his inappropriate behavior then follow the chain of command. Good luck!
I am certainly not taking the coach's side. I am simply saying that there is a way to handle things correctly, and doing it up the chain is the correct way of doing things. Give the coach a chance to change and get better. I wonder how young the coach is, because we are all stupid at times when we first start out. If he is older, then obviously he should know better. The sexual stuff is definitely something that needs to be addressed with the coach and told to him that it makes his team uncomfortable and should stop. If it doesn't, then there are channels to file sexual harrassment inquiries. As far as the rules, it is the coach's team and he can run it however he wants to. If you don't like that part, then you need to find another team. I agree it is a little overboard to have bed checks with college kids, but there may be a reason and circumstances that have led the coach that direction (we don't know). If the team rules are the major problem, then get some of the team together and meet with the coach as a group (so you don't feel cornered). If I had several of my team come to visit with me about the rules, I would definitely hear them out. Again, I know there have been some inappropriate things (according to what you are telling us), but give him a chance to be confronted and make the change. If not, then do what you have to do.
You get $20,000 a year to run, you are livin the dream son. I run at a NAIA school and get a quarter of that, sad thing is i am probably much better then you lol ;). Not that its sayin much. I would put up with anyone for 3 hours a day for that kind of money.
I’m taking ALL the advice that’s given into thought. I will say that I’m annoyed with the name calling though. I’m not looking for every single person on Letsrun to take my side. I’m simply asking for advice on what to do (whether stick it out, quit after this season and transfer, ect). This isn’t a “please give me sympathy” thread.
As for now, I’m sticking it out until the end of the season. I’m not going to take the wrong way out and quit now knowing that my other teammates are going this crap also. I have had talks with him before about everything that’s going on. Just not me, but other guys on the team have talked to him also and looking how I should continue to talk to him according to some posts, they’ll be plenty more talks to come between me and him.
So let me say thanks to everyone who’s posted advice for me (whether it was for me or against me). I’ll take every piece of advice in consideration, but I ask for just advice; either saying for me to stick it out, keep my mouth shut, have me say something to the AD, transfer, or whatever else advice people have for me.
To the abusive coach who called me an idiot, I was the captain of my high school team, and of my collegiate cross country and track teams. No good coach would stand up for sexual harassment or berating of the athletes.
The chain of command is for the employees of the college, not the athletes. Students have the right to talk with the President of the college any time, and to ensure they are being treated with respect and diginity at all times.
That you have talked with the coach about his behavior, and he has not changed, shows that he is not going to change.
Perhaps you could detail what's been happening in a written statement, have members of the team sign it, and present this to the President in a meeting. You have a lot of options to consider. If this is a women's team then the matter is more urgent and I would get the parents involved right away.
I’m sorry for the confusion, but I’m not getting $20,000 to run for this school. The costs over $20,000 and what I got is like half of that or less. And haha, well who knows, you may be faster than me and you may not be, but hey if you are then I hope you continue to get faster.
And Coach of Champions, he’s about 36-37 years old and says he’s been coaching for over 8 years. As a team we have addressed the rules and curfew and bed checks. In response, he has said that he believes it’s good for us and no matter how much we complain, he said he won’t listen to us and may continue to have it.
Now I’ve yet to confront him on the sexual stuff he’s said because I wanted to know how to approach this since this is a serious topic. I’ll be seeing him tomorrow so when I get the chance I’ll talk to him about it and let you guys know what he has to say.
You're obviously not better at writing and making sense.
xxxA wrote:
You get $20,000 a year to run, you are livin the dream son. I run at a NAIA school and get a quarter of that, sad thing is i am probably much better then you lol ;). Not that its sayin much. I would put up with anyone for 3 hours a day for that kind of money.
I don't get how people can think "bed checks" are okay...
Bed checks; are you kidding me? lol...lol..
This guy has other things on his mind than making sure his athletes (particularly the females) are in bed at midnight. Do you realize this means there is this old guy driving to the college at midnight, checking the (unlocked) rooms of 19-22 year old girls...give me a break.
some advice wrote:
Now I’ve yet to confront him on the sexual stuff he’s said because I wanted to know how to approach this since this is a serious topic. I’ll be seeing him tomorrow so when I get the chance I’ll talk to him about it and let you guys know what he has to say.
Tell your parents and have them talk to your coach.
To Some Advice:
While I do not put forward the curfew rules that your coach does, there is no doubt that the rules are in your best interest and will help in your progressions. Yelling is not my style, but I would be lying if I said that I haven't felt incredible dissapointment with the perceived effort of some of my team members. There have been many times I would like to have yelled. That said, each coach has their own style and, as a recruit, you should have determined that before you signed. I am afraid you either live with the rules or move on.
In regard to the sexual comments, you are dead on.... they are flat out wrong! Coaches who make such comments at any level are causing a real problem in our sport for male coaches and must be stopped. Get witnesses and schedule a meeting with your AD and President you all can attend. NAIA presidents are not as unapproachable as say one at LSU or Arkansas. Usually, NAIA schools are all about enrollment, so if there is a problem they will fix it.
Best of luck and I hope to see you at nationals in Edwardsville.
It seems that there are some issues here that would call for going up the chain of command. Curfew, calling out team members, et cetera.
However, the constellation of odd/harassing behavior is simply not appropriate. Because, at the end of the day, a guy like this is not going to "get better." The behavior that he exhibits would have him dismissed from any workplace. It is not "unmanly" to report that behavior to AD's, deans, and others with the authority to remove him. In fact, I would argue it is your duty as an athlete to report him. Lord knows, if he talks and acts like that in public, what is happening behind his office doors?
Oh man bed checks!When I was a rookie coach/22 years ago I had bed checks because some of the guy's on the team partied etc a little to much.Anyway that lasted for about two weeks max...hahaha..
I woke up one day and I realized what a idiot I am....was...haha.I had a team meeting I explained the situation....expectations etc and stopped the bed checks.
Oh yea some of the guys still carried on...I just gave them the exit,cut scholarship and that seemed to calm things down.
It's sad but every once in a while you have to just hold them responsible for their actions and pay the hang man.
My kids are now a little smarter and sneaker..hahaha
Cheerio to all that!
Dude, nearly every NBA and NFL team has curfew and bedchecks. If you do not plan on breaking the rule then you should not have a problem with the rule.
First, the comments are not appropriate. Those are problematic. Everything else you whined about I would tell you to get stuffed over.
Second , curfews. Why? My kids know enough to go to bed on their own and if they don't they pay the price. If your coach has to have a curfew it's probably because you are a screw up.
People are weird - coaches are people. Get over it. You are going to hate your boss. Too bad. You will get married and there is a 50% chance your wife will cheat on you and a 90% chance you will get divorced after that. People are jerks; they will screw you over while they tell you they love you. Get over it.
People are good. They care and treat you with respect. Get over it.
So it goes.
The coach is a pervert. Gets fired and is history.
Get over it.
Lantermanc wrote:
All coaches are a little wacko.
I've probably known more wacko athletes than wacko coaches in my life
I can't believe that no one has taken issue with the coach making his athletes keep their doors unlocked at night for his bed checks. That is certainly a safety issue that the school would be interested to know about and take action on.
Here we are, in the year 2009, and apparently there are still plenty of Puritans alive and well in the collegiate cross country and track scene. Well, at least on the surface they act like it. The reality is that some of the conversations that go on during easy day/recovery runs would not make most mothers proud of their little boys. I think some mommy's would be shocked to hear what some of these young men would do to score some poon. Yes, you know what I'm talking about. The runs where the previous weekends or future conquests' are discussed in detail ad nauseum. We all know that most of these horny little frustrated runner boys absolutely live to get their plow on. And that is ok, but some of you act like sex and everything related to it doesn't exist. Note: It(sex) is a basic human drive. As a former college coach, I have heard stuff while driving a team van on a road trip that would make your head spin. Here's the kicker, I was driving the women's team van!!! They were not discreet, almost bragging to a point. So when I hear the "oh my virgin ears" position from athletes, I always take it with a grain of salt. Most of these athletes have been around the block a time or two, and they definitely know what's up.
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