I Did IT! I'm a Bandit!

This maybe the absolute best tounge-in-cheek post this board has ever had. To everyone else who tries to be sarcastic, take lessons, I've never seen it done better. Nice job.

First thing I thought is that this sounds like an Onion article.

"I did it! I'm a bandit!"

I paid for my race. I am such a tool.

I bandited the Boulder Bolder a few years back. we had just returned from D2 nats in Ralaiegh, so we wore our race numbers from there in case anyone asked anything .We worked our way through the field, just laughing the whole way, then pulled out with 200m to go. I would not hesitate to bandit this race as the entry fee was a rip-off.

I just bandited a half Marathon over thanksgiving break, was in about 20-25th most of the race. It was cold, and most had long sleeves on, but I decided to take my shirt off a mile into the race, no one said anything, I think they thought my # was on my shirt. There were marshals all over the race course as it was a big race, and they just cheered me on. Great way to get a tempo in with free drinks.

I bandited the Chicken Ranch Brothel 5k 'Race for Roast Beef Curtains.' It was in Nevada, so it was hot as shit, but the post race party was fantastic. Some got mad, though, when I got for free what everyone else was paying for.

Don't get too worked up over this guy. He just wants some attention. I live in Middle Tennessee and I can assure you the Bolt is a 5 MILE race that had over 6000 people on Thursday, not a "little 5k run" as this idiot claims. If he had really run it in years before and then ran it last week, I would assume he would know it's not a little 5k run.

Ryan Lynch wrote:

I'm also open to any suggestions on how to make this an even better experience.

Try cursing at the volunteers.

You won't truly be a "road whore" until your a "B" kenyan

and show up at some local-yokel 5k to take the $50

top prize from some poor white hump that gets the $25 runner up prize but still loses because he paid that much to enter...

I cheated on my husband and it was great. We had sex and I didn't even have to cook him dinner. I am going to have to try it again, but this time with 8 or 9 guys at one time. I hope all you bandits understand the connection.

Tiger Lily wrote:

I cheated on my husband and it was great. We had sex and I didn't even have to cook him dinner. I am going to have to try it again, but this time with 8 or 9 guys at one time. I hope all you bandits understand the connection.

Yeah, I get it. You're a whore that can't be trusted.

Once again this confirms my theory:

Runners are the CHEAPEST S.O.B.'s on the planet!

Im totally against banditting races, but I fully approve of anyone banditing the BB. That race is such a rip. I still pay though because Ive run it 13 straight years.

I've been banditing for over 20 years, great way to get in a good workout, without having to pay for it. It's fun to see the look on people's faces when I'm coming down the homestretch to win a race and then drop out at the last minute. You can see the big ????'s come over them. I do have some scruples though. I usually do not take any water, drinks, food, etc... from the races I bandit. A man has to draw the line somewhere. Have fun banditing, but be nice to the race directors and don't run thru the finish line.

The Bandit, in Dallas

I bandited a small 5 mile (supposed to be 5 but about 45-60 seconds short) race, figuring I would just run with the leaders as long as I could, since I wasn't in great shape at the time. I didn't pay since it was something like $27 for a chip-timed 5k and the regular goodies, not something I was willing to pay that much for, especially when I have a few thousand $ in student loans that I'm paying back.

I ended up taking the lead in the first 800m, cause there was nobody fast in the race (I tried holding back as much as I could), and ran the entire thing out front by myself. I was talking with the pacer on a bicycle for about 3 miles until I finally told her I was banditing, she then slowed up to wait for the real leader, after telling me she would pay my entry fee the next year.

Then the last straightaway I pulled over onto the sidewalk and ran right past the finish line while they were announcing that I won and asking me who I was, trying to find out my name. I had to tell them I was just banditing and wasn't entered and they got quite pissed off.

Ran something like 25:40 for just less than 5 miles. Much faster than I had anticipated. Felt kind of like an ass leading it though. The guy that came in next but actually won, was pissed at first until he found out I wasn't entered, since he had taken 2nd place something like 4 years in a row! He finally got his win!

Sly One,

Thanks for that story. It's tales like yours that convinced me to give this a try. I love it and am already looking at future events I can bandit. I know I'll part of the Music City Marathon. I just don't know yet how much of it I'll run. I think I'll definately try to score some free shit there. Keep up the great work.

I dont know what Boulevard you ran, but the Bolt in Nashville is a 5 mile not a 5k!

Yer off to a great start.

Did you cross the finish line???

I hope so.It really pisses everybody off.

Try that next time.

And don't forget to load up on all the free chow

at the finish line.

It was all donated so f*** em.Bring a big big

duffell bag and stuff that f***er full.

if any of the asshole volunteers say only one item yell at them that you paid yer entry fee and you'll take as much as you goddamn want.They usually back off real quick when you scream at em.

Yer off to a great start.

Continue posting yer banditing success and if

i can be any help I'll continue to give you pointers.

Remember:

I'ma Whore and soon you will be too.

Sarcasm my ass! I was there and I know Ryan. I feel like a f***ing dick for paying the fee when I could have had all that shit for free. Of course, they were raising money for the homeless and hungry but maybe those f***ers should bandit the race too so they can get a good meal at the end!