I'm sorry but it seems a bit out of place for a gay man to be commenting on what women should be offering. After all, do you really understand women & how they work? And, how exactly does gay sex work? Is any one shoving a penis in someone elses hole? I think you'd have to be in the mood for that.
Most men, unfortunately put their wives in a position to be constantly babysitting them & then they want to be respected in bed at night. I don't blame a lot of women for not being in the mood or just palin being too tired. Id be tired too after feeding, cleaning, & clothing most men.
The key to most loving sexual relationships seems to be men who sacrifically love their wives & wives who respect their husbands. Its not about what the other wants necessarily but what's best for both.
You're right though its emotional for sure. And you sound a bit selfish. Put a few kids in there & you'd realize what tired was...oh wait....
This thread is one reason i am glad to be gay. When i want sex i just start rubbing my partner and i get what i want...sometimes, we just make it all about each other too, which is fun. I don't understand that eventhough women may not be in the mood that they can't do things for their spouses because they love them. Even if they have no desire for sex why no oral or even vaginal if it isn't painful? One of the great things about sex is a lot of it is in the mind and spouses should get pleasure in pleasing their lover. If not, there is something deeper going on emotionally.