oh man wrote:
yes, I guess you have a case there. Unfortunately I'm only hearing one side of it. I'm sure my ex has some similarly incriminating things to say about me. She told me things about the guy she was with; what a horrible scumbag he is. Maybe, like you, she's telling the next guy things about me that aren't so great. I never told her she was getting chubby. She did have a really nice body but she wore concealing clothing, and I mentioned a few times that I wished she would dress a little more sexy sometimes. She took that very personally. Actually it wasn't that big a deal to me. I think she's totally sexy either way. I said a few things I wish I could take back. I'm still totally in love with her, but I guess she is "over" me.
Everyone has a few things they wish they could take back - don't worry about it, it doesn't sound like there was something you needed to do differently, although I don't know the whole story.
I don't think my ex's disinterest makes him a scumbag, just someone who I couldn't be with happily for any longer. He didn't like this and didn't like that, and only liked missionary, and was very verbal about it, so sex was like this list of rules that I had to follow or he wasn't satisfied. Ok, everyone has their preferences, but there wasn't any compromise - things had to be exactly his way or he didn't want it at all. I'm sure there's another side of the story - maybe he'd tell you that I sucked at sex and he wanted me to do just a few things differently and I didn't love him enough to make things good for him.
In the more general sense of the PNSO, I can imagine this with a different ending - instead of saying that I couldn't continue the relationship under those conditions, if this had happened when I was younger and less mature and more desperate to please, maybe I would have married him thinking that the sexual stuff wasn't that important overall, and in another year, we'd have pretty much stopped having sex altogether. If your ex was over you, for whatever reason legit or not, it's better that you get to find someone who's into you instead of having her drag out a dead relationship.