Post-nuptial shutoff?

I assume this is when he talks about consorting with internet porn he is in fact talking about jacking off. Or maybe he just watches and that makes him feel better - for each his own.

trumpedya wrote:

I assume this is when he talks about consorting with internet porn he is in fact talking about jacking off. Or maybe he just watches and that makes him feel better - for each his own.

Hmm, didn't see that. Well, you never know . . . if he isn't, it is something to consider.

I'm a woman and here's my perspective:

I feel really bad for all of you guys. It must be terrible to want to get laid all the time and never get any. But it's not just because you had kids etc. I was with my b/f for 2 years in my late 20's. We did the crazy sexfest just like everyone else. We went from doing it every day to at least once per week. It was great. Then we broke up for a few years, then we got back together 2 years ago. Everything is different now. I have absolutely no sex drive whatsoever. I love him; he's my favourite person in the world. There is no one I prefer to spend time with. I never want to be with anyone else ever again.

But I never, ever, EVER feel like having sex with him (or anyone). I went to the doctor and she said that this is the most common complaint/concern she hears from women my age (30's). She said it's because of hormones. Her advice was for me to mentally schedule one day every week where I have sex weather I want to or not, kind of like doing the laundry. I've tried it but I think my b/f can tell I'm not really into it. The reason I'm posting this is so that you guys know that from a female's perspective there is a lot of guilt from our end in this situation.

Hey, just wanted to say I appreciate your post.

Thanks for the perspective.

this is why men should stay fit enough to land younger chicks who want to get laid regularly. I think the kids, job, etc are probably all excuses to cover up the lack of drive. Man, if I could go back to college with my wife, I would be plenty happy. Those were the good ol' days. She'd go out with the girls, I would go out with the guys until we eventually met up after midnight and went home f*** like crazy and then again right away in the morning.

I have given up. My wife does not want to have sex at all. If I ask, she'll do it but I can tell she is not interested. So now I have lost interest. We have openly discussed the issue. I am simply yesterday's news. I have seriously thought about having an affair. I have enough money to be a sugar daddy if that is the way to go.

Three decades of marriage. I know one thing for sure. I love her but I would never make that sort of commitment again. Not interested in finding another life partner. Not at my age.

Just someone who wants to get it on. Enjoy life.

I haven't started to look yet but that scares me. Not because I am afraid I won't find someone but that I will. I can still attract women. I know how to go about it. Rejection doesn't bother me that much.

I assume your wife is post-menopausal?It's comments like yours (and threads like these), that make me feel like I should never get married. Or, at least live the single lifestyle until my late 30's/early 40's then find a woman much younger.Are there any success stories out there to cheer up the masses?

Yours is a difficult situation, but not altogether uncommon. I would estimate that a good 40-60% of all marriages/relationships dissolve into this state. There is no easy answer. You can stay with it, remain faithful, but probably wonder every day what you're missing. Ultimately, you'll have to examine what you want for the rest of your life and follow that path.

My wife and I discussed this very thing at dinner last night. I think she'd understand the feelings of many of the women who've lost interest over time. However, she also talked about her commitment to the marriage and her understanding that we really need that as part of a healthy marriage.

A couple of hours later we got some.

Got some wrote:A couple of hours later we got some.

No need to brag. Just saying.

Dude talked with his wife. Later on he got the booty.

Lesson.

Great article about infidelity and why it happens, again, not an excuse but why.

If your partner isn't "good, giving, and game" you'll have issues in the bedroom.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/03/magazine/infidelity-will-keep-us-together.html?_r=4&pagewanted=all&fb_source=message

You have to sign in to read it. Can you copy the text? I'm curious.

Dr J O wrote:

You have to sign in to read it. Can you copy the text? I'm curious.

Don't even think about it, pirate!

It's been 16 weeks since I had sex with my wife (thanks timeanddate.com)...and we haven't even been married 3 years. I think that's also the last time we "made out".

I'm pretty certain that after we sell our house, I'll be asking to end it and getting back to enjoying my life again.

No kids, thankfully.

I always feel like I'm in trouble ALL THE TIME with my wife even if I've done nothing wrong. I get yelled at for the most ridiculous things. I'd be curious to hear from some divorced men and if they'd gone through the same thing.

SOPA alert! wrote:

Dr J O wrote:

You have to sign in to read it. Can you copy the text? I'm curious.

Don't even think about it, pirate!

How many years would I get? I'd ask for conjugal visits, but I'm not getting any anyway...

Good question. Yes, she is post menopausal.

And yes, many of my long time married friends are going through the same deal.

And yes, if I were suddenly flung back in time, I would not marry again.

My wife is mid 40s and has been shuttin it down for a few years now. She'll still partake once in awhile, but it's pretty much seems to be just a chore for her.

Since it isn't really very fun, I've lost interest as well. Unfortunately this has affected how I view the relationship, because I don't really want to make the effort to talk about all the stuff she wants to talk about if she isn't willing to make much effort on my behalf.

Bottom line is, besides raising kids, I don't see much point to the whole nuptial idea. It doesn't really seem to work for either men or women, most of the time. I'm sure there are some exceptions.

Women need to get banged (and hard) regularly to help with hormone levels. Even if they say they aren't interested, they biologically really are. Do not take NO for an answer. Make a stink about it. It's for her own good.