Whorified wrote:
Thank you Bitter Divorced Guy. When I realized he was cheating, all of the role playing did seem degrading. But honestly until that moment I thought the bedroom banter was a good thing. He claims the other women were primarily to blame for his indiscretions, but one of the women was just someone he met at the hotel bar while he was traveling, so I'm not sure I believe he wasn't out there looking.
He will never go to counseling and wants to keep his private life private. We were having sex 5-6 times a week for more than 10 years, so there was no shut off and I am still dealing with a cheater. I'm not sure what I'm going to do at this point.
Man lady, if you were having sex with him 5-6 times a week, and he still needs more on top of that, then he for sure has a problem. You cannot put up with him sleeping around -- even if you decide that morally you are ok with it, if you support it then you can never have sex with him again. Who knows what he'll bring home -- chlamydia, herpes, HIV, some crazy woman who flattens your tires, etc. I'll echo what someone else said -- no woman is holding a gun to his head. Most married men have been hit on at some point or another. Takes a man with BALLS to say no.
Your husband has a sexual addiction. I'm using the broad general definition of if what you do has adverse affects on other parts of your life, then you have an addiction that needs to be addressed. This does NOT excuse his behavior in any way. If you do nothing then you are an enabler. MARRIED men aren't suppose to go bang anything that moves. His behavior is one of a man who is NOT married. If I were you, since he seems unwilling to work on solutions, I would help him become not married. You are a woman in your 40s who is willing to give it up to your man 5-6 times a week. LOTS of single, divorced, etc. men out there who would like to be with you.