Interesting thread...
In response to the "sad representational of American women," you can always marry a Canadian. My friend's father did that. They live a remarkably happy and normal life in BC and their children are well-adjusted, sensible, rational, kind children. Are all Canadians like that, no, and not all Americans are to be demonized, but this thread is ridiculous, so there you go.
In response to the resale value of a diamond: It isn't there the way the jewelers tell you it is because even if a pawn shop or a jeweler will buy your used ring, no one else will buy it used.
In response to the ring being what you make of it: My parents were in a similar situation to Flagpole and his wife, and while my mom's engagement ring is actually my grandmother's, the wedding ring itself is just a very thin, very simple band that fit next to the ring. It cost them nothing. Why? The couple who bought a fancy engagement ring had never come back for the matching wedding band because they got married. The entire jewelery industry is based on peculiar supply and demand. Sure, stones are rare, but you can't eat them, feed your children with them, send your children with them, heat your house, take you to work, or enable a family vacation.
In response to Flagpole and saving: Be careful how early you retire. My great-uncle retired 30 years ago when he was in his late fifties and he moved down to Florida. Everyone thought he was the biggest success ever. He and my great-aunt went out to dinner all the time, they went dancing, they joined social clubs, they traveled, everything. And he was still bored out of his mind and felt purposeless. Within a year he went back to work. He used to run an upholstery business, so he worked 3-4 hours every morning for another upolsterer, not because he needed the money, but because he was bored from lack of purpose. It's also the case that the longer you live without work the easier it is for your mental edge to slip. By all means retire!! It's great if you don't need to work you whole life. But retire with a plan for what you will do, because not working--especially if you enjoy work and get fulfillment from it--will be ever-present on your mind.
As for saving, you shoul still save, and you should still save the way Flagpole is suggesting. Sure, you could spend money now and be happy, or you could save it for the day that your loved one is diagnosed with cancer and you have hospital bills that insurance won't cover, or maybe it will be your great joy to tell your son or daughter that you've saved up enough to pay a portion of their children's college tuition bills with your children (their parents), and enable a generation of your family to graduate from college debt-free. That may be one of the greatest gifts of all time. Or you could put seed money down to fix the leaky roof of your church, which might matter a whole lot more to you at 70 than at 30, when it might be the center of your community life. Just because you get older doesn't mean that the opportunities for you to spend--and spend money wisely--disappear.
As for the ring, it's just a ring. It's a piece of metal and maybe a stone or three set in it. What matters (or, at least, what I think matters) much more is that you are getting married, which is wonderful, so congratulations. Make what you want of the ring, but make it what YOU want of it. Not what your friends want and not what these posters want you to want.