salary to engagement ring spending

kohlberg wrote:

That's clever. Because making Jeopardy references always gets a few laughs at social gatherings. Oops! Sorry...I didn't give my response in the form of a question!

(Get it? That was another Jeopardy reference! Ha ha!)

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECHhhh

:::Record Stops, People Staring:::

Most women fail to realize that once they get married the husbands debt becomes theirs. I knew this broad who just got ger ring and made sure the guy had done the two month rule. A month later she gets married and is bitching about how he is in debt and made some bad financial decisions. What a dumb Bitch

Stop Digging The Hole Man!!! wrote:

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECHhhh

:::Record Stops, People Staring:::

Awesome! Another cliche! You guys are hilarious! What WILL come out next of those witty minds of yours?

1) Spend freely just because you make a decent salary and you're likely to have to work for a long long time. If I had a $400,000 a year salary, then I'd have enough money to retire in 10 years tops. Why not just do that? Why waste money on a ring? When a person can get a very nice ring for much less than $25,000 and they DON'T -- well, I'll be the first one to judge that. Not for it. Besides, to mention buying something based on her boyfriend's salary is just a symptom of what's to come. She keeps spending "acceptable perceived percentages" of her boyfriend's income, and they'll end up with lots of big toys that quickly depreciate in value and no liquid cash. I've got a brother on that path even though he makes 4 times what I do. He and his wife spend money like its water, and they justify it due to his big salary. If only he'd put 10% away, the he could spend almost as freely, but when he's 65 and ready to retire, he could have had all his toys AND a shit pile of cash. I've tried to talk sense into him, but he says he and his wife simply cannot save money. Unbelievable.

2) The notion that a ring should be a certain percentage of a person's salary is crazy. It should be based more on what the woman would like to wear the rest of her life than that. Of course if she wants to wear some huge gaudy thing then that's a strike against her. When I bought my wife's engagement ring and wedding ring, the two together cost me 70% of what I made the previous year -- not that they were all that expensive, but I was still a college student and only working part time. For two month's salary then, I could have gotten her a ring from a toy store. I had saved up the money over three years to be able to buy it for her.

3) Just because something makes someone happy doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. Sometimes people need to re-examine their lives and decide WHY something makes them happy and then work on changing that to more reasonable things.

You are both consummate American gold diggers. You would never marry a guy who makes $30K a year or even $75K. Admit it, you married your guy for his money.

Money is the No. 1 marital priority/criteria for most American women.

Looks, personality, sense of humor, etc. are all far behind.

Good for you. Maybe this Dr. and his future bride enjoy luxury objects and working. Maybe they don't want to retire in 10 years because they enjoy their current lives and/or have career goals other than making "the number." As you indicate in your last point, perhaps this makes them happy. Your repetitive posts on this subject scream envy. If you truly didn't care, you'd ignore.

If I won the lottery today, or (more likely) hit my "number" in ten years, i see no reason why i'd quit my job. I like my job and it provides generous amenities.

well, together we make almost 500,000/year, so I don't think my 20,000 ring is going to put us in the poor house. We spend reasonably on other things, and we are saving over 100,000/year for retirement- he is only 34. Why must you judge, it is something that means a lot to me and I am not superficial for wanting a nice ring that will last a lifetime.

xc girl wrote:

I am not superficial for wanting a nice ring that will last a lifetime.

Keep telling yourself that and you may get to... say... 40 without having a breakdown.

whatever man wrote:

You are both consummate American gold diggers. You would never marry a guy who makes $30K a year or even $75K. Admit it, you married your guy for his money.

Money is the No. 1 marital priority/criteria for most American women.

Looks, personality, sense of humor, etc. are all far behind.

Yep. There have been studies on this. Money is the No. 1 thing for women. Pretty shallow. Any guy though who marries a woman who enjoys his big earnings is in for a world of hurt. She'll spend that money like it's going out of style. She doesn't love the fact he has money that he keeps. She loves the fact he has money that she can spend. I'm sure there's a special place in hell for these women.

Personality and sense of humor should be No. 1, and while basing things on looks is pretty shallow too, at least it's not as bad as the money thing. From a money-grubbing chick - "Well, he beats me regularly but he has a lot of money."

Oh and to Milton- you are exactly right, he loves his job and his dad is also a doc and doesn't want to retire (he is 71!) My boyfriend will probably work until he is 70 beacuse he enjoys his career. As for myself, I would in no way want to not work. Even when I have kids I want to work although fewer hours. I would be bored out of my mind otherwise!

So, why are you on here asking others how you should spend the pithy sum of money then?

xc girl wrote:

I would be bored out of my mind otherwise!

Because raising children is such a meaningless and trivial task, so boring. I would rather be shopping at the mall or having cocktails with my botoxed buddies at the club.

I am a real catch!!!

You sound neurotic and boring. Do something interesting with all this money and then report back to us. You want a nice ring, check out local art galleries where strugling but talented jewellers show their wares. Beats Tiffany's any day and has a story to tell.

xc girl wrote:

well, together we make almost 500,000/year, so I don't think my 20,000 ring is going to put us in the poor house.

If you are making close to 100,000/year then buy your own goddam ring.

xc girl wrote:

Why must you judge, it is something that means a lot to me and I am not superficial for wanting a nice ring that will last a lifetime.

I bet you could find a ring that looks pretty much identical to your 25K ring and will also last a lifetime but costs less than 3000 bucks. It made take a little more leg work to find, but this is the most important purchase you've ever made right?

My guess is that a large portion of your attraction to the 25,000 dollar ring is the fact that it costs 25,000 dollars.

THAT is what makes you superficial. Among other things.

xc girl wrote:

well, together we make almost 500,000/year, so I don't think my 20,000 ring is going to put us in the poor house. We spend reasonably on other things, and we are saving over 100,000/year for retirement- he is only 34. Why must you judge, it is something that means a lot to me and I am not superficial for wanting a nice ring that will last a lifetime.

1) You asked for opinions, so just sit back and take it like a man (err woman).

2) A "nice ring" doesn't have to cost $20,000.

3) You are basing the amount you want to spend on your boyfriend's salary. Why do that? You do that for other things in your life, and you'll have less money than my wife and me (we'll be around $140,000 a year when she goes back to work full time).

4) Since the two of you aren't married yet, there's no WE in saving all this money for retirement. So far it is HIS money for the most part that is saved. Actually get married and then you can start talking about "we".

5) Any diamond you buy, even if it is industrial grade (meaning it should be used to grind stone, not be worn on a person's finger) will last a lifetime. Yes, you are superficial for wanting a big expensive one -- regardless of what kind of money your boyfriend makes, and it is indicative of the kind of spending you will do once you're married to him.

6) Like it or not, but you wear a big flashy ring on your finger, and some women will be envious and hate you, others will think you a superficial heartless bitch, and still others may follow you to your BMW to rob you or take your car. Any woman whose big flashy expensive engagement ring is important to them needs to re-evaluate their life.

7) Oh, but if a big flashy ring is important to you, then by all means do it! [sarcasm]

xc girl wrote:

My boyfriend earns 400,000/year . He wants me to pick out an engagement ring but I have not asked him directly how much he is willing to spend. The ones I like are 20,000 and 24,000. Do you think that 20k to 30k for a ring is too much considering his salary?

Back to the main point of this thread....

In my opinion a ring in the 20-30k range is reasonable for your boyfriend's salary. Perhaps you should ask him what his "budget" is for the ring before you tell him which you like.

In case you find my advice helpful, I recently became engaged my ring is only 1 karat, the quality is excellent but I just wish the diamond were a little bit bigger.

Flagpole Willy wrote:

7) Oh, but if a big flashy ring is important to you, then by all means do it! [sarcasm]

How's the view from that soapbox you're on? Other people have different priorities...so what? Personally, I think that you're priority of penny-pinching your whole life so you can retire a few years earlier is retarded. But it's your choice and it makes you happy. So, that's great.

Obviously xc girl doesn't have to make the same sort of financial compromises that you do, so why would you impose your value system upon her? It's beyond you giving your opinion in response to her question. You made your opinion quite clear with your first post. We get it. So why continue to trash someone elses priorities?

sounds like a bunch of promising marriages!

Based on reading some of these posts, I've never seen so many judgmental people in my life. The moral issue I understand but for most of you on here, it's just a rash judgment that any woman who wants what you consider an expensive ring is a horrible person. Let this woman get whatever she wants - if you and yours want something different that's fine too. If the ring brings her happiness good for her - think how many guys get happiness from driving a sports car - I wouldn't tell them how to spend their money or that he's a bad person because he doesn't spend his money on a hyundai and give the rest to charity.