As a reporter for The Dartmouth - America's Oldest College Newspaper - I have had several interviews with one Tom McArdle. During these interviews, I have gotten the impression that young Thomas was trying make a mockery of our publication and perhaps hide some "secret" behind his meteorical rise to the elite circles of NCAA competition. So I took it upon myself to investigate the situation firsthand by taking a look at the Dartmouth locker room, hidden within the depths of Alumni Gym. What I found was quite astonishing - a giant poster of the gorgeous Olsen twins (You know, from "Full House"). What was this poster of these two not-quite-legal hotties doing on the campus of one of America's finest academic institutions? You're guess is as good as mine. What is known is that behind McArdle's leadership, the Indian harriers are as fast as any team since the Lanana era and quite possibly deeper than any Dartmouth team ever. Coincedence? Doubtful. McArdle was unavailable for questioning, but a young man with black hair parted down the middle and and a fitted hat had this to say, "By God, if Hugh Heffner can't have them, then I will. I attribute all of my running success to those two girls; I mean look how skinny and young they are. By the way, you're not from ORL are you?" Another somewhat stumpier runner gave me a few shadow punches to the stomach and mumbled something, of which the only phrases I could make out were "Yeahyes", "Plumpers", and "Bonin'." A final comment (or comments, I should say) came from a more talkative individual. "I once had this friend, at Exeter...well he wasn't my friend..." The story, while very funny, seemed to ramble on and on and had nothing to do with the recent success of Darmouth distance running.
So to summarize my findings - Olsen twins posters can benefit everyone, and Farva, you're suspension continues.