Yeah this is a soppy post for this board but I'd like anyones perspective on this especially if you are in your 30s. I'm at a point where I spend a lot of time wondering around aimlessly. Apart from my running club I am on my own at this point. I sometimes question if it's worth it.
I hope that you are not asking if life is worth living. Please seek some mental health care if that is the case. That is the healthy and wise thing to do.
Everyone has ups and downs in life. Everyone gets lonely, sometimes even the most seemingly popular people. Change some things in your life if you are unhappy. Force yourself to socialize. Try to get people in your club to go out to eat after a run. Find some other group that interests you, even if just a little - hiking club, wine tasting club, whatever. Sometimes doing something new is just what you need.
I was going to make a joke here, but this may be serious. I wish you health and happiness.
Are you ready for the journey? Ripped off from the top comment of one of the videos below...
"Loneliness is not the absence of others, it is the absence of yourself."
“We must become so alone, so utterly alone, that we withdraw into our innermost self. It is a way of bitter suffering. But then our solitude is overcome, we are no longer alone, for we find that our innermost self is the spirit, that it is God, the indivisible. And suddenly we find ourselves in the midst of the world, yet undisturbed by its multiplicity, for our innermost soul we know ourselves to be one with all being.” ― Hermann Hesse
Do you still have parents, siblings? If you think being lonely in your 30's is hard, try it in your 50's when your parents have gone.
If you are a member of a running club and still can't make friends, then obviously you have some kind of social skills problem. Whatever it is, you're still young enough to get it treated. In the meantime, try making friends online, which is easier, even if you never meet them in person.
Yes, I do actively consider ending my life. I am close to my parents so I am not at absolute rock bottom, but I am in a bad headspace. I see no future. It's also difficult to explain how I feel alone even when I'm around people. I'm 35 with no life direction and no one to turn to except my parents. I was always too anxious and lacked the direction needed to get a good job, so after finishing my degrees I have done low level work. I was suppost to be attending medical school, but moving out and committing to it is overwhelming for me. Granted it is a long distance to move, but it's a bit pathetic that a 35 year old man is too afraid to move out.
Most people don't have time for me and I don't blame them I suppose. I don't fit in for a person of my age. I'm quiet, anxious and I don't know what I'm doing. Running was a great crux for a while as I switched my mind off.
I hope my parents are around for a good few years yet. Without them I would be in such a worse position it's not worth thinking about.
I usually either text a friend to meet up for lunch or coffee (easier than dinner), or I go on a date. Im an introvert, so I can easily get into a rut of doing things alone (love seeing a movie by myself, or dinner out, or traveling.) Because of that, I try to make it a point to get together for a quick hang. Social network is important.
I ask because for someone who does research at Stanford, being a professor at a small d3 type college might be "low level", for an accountant at a big company doing the books for a mom and pop might be low level, for someone with a degree in any field, but little work experience, retail may be low level, etc. Can you procure a higher level degree if you've turned down med school or just didn't get in? Could you do research?
Long distance moves are stressful, but if you just yank the band aid off and do it, its not so bad after a while. It helps if you don't have a bunch of posessions and live a minimalistic style (ie move by car or just a car and moving van, don't have a property to sell or buy, etc).
Many people are in the same boat. Do you have access to mental health care?
Life isn't linear, so try not to worry about what will or won't happen in the future. There have been plenty of times when my life has felt aimless, pointless, etc., but then something good comes in that I never expected.
I think you need to redefine what you think success means. It sounds like you maybe just aren't passionate about what you think you were "supposed" to do and that's okay.
Why don't you state your location and 3 things you are even remotely interested in (beside running)? Maybe there will be someone on here who shares the same interests/location? They can then introduce you to other people.
You need to get out more, loneliness isn't cured by being alone.
I feel the same way too. All my siblings and cousins are married with kids in my generation. I feel like I missed out on being the parent, husband/wife, kids affair. I feel lonely without direction. So what I like to do is just sleep and hope that I don’t get up.