How to answer the 'Why?' question

I would be very concerned if my spouse ever brought this up to me. I'm guessing most of the married runners on this site would share the same concern. Thankfully I was a runner before I got married and married a runner so I don't ever have to worry about this.

Answering the why should be easy, but I would question why your wife even needs a why. This is something that you should be sorted out pre-marriage.

Seriously thought this was going to be someone pondering Yoni Wolf’s musical progression from CloudDead to his latest album. They would then go on to ponder aging, mortality, etc…

But I think the answer is that running is a journey of self discovery and until that you feel you’ve reached your potential, you probably feel as though you can still grow as a person.

“Why?” is the rabbit hole of questions. I think your quandary is somewhat complicated by it. It poses existential issues that involve too many value judgements to reconcile. For me decisions about running were made a lot easier when I —maybe sort of chickenheartedly—turned off the need to answer Why. Too many variables too many dark unknowns, like a labyrinth. Dad used to answer “Why is not available! Shut up and do th right thing!” It’s tough because the “right thing” involved doing what’s right for my family with my needs second. I don’t have an answer for Why, or much to help you, but things got easier when I started just going with What, How, Who, etc. no help from me, but don’t crucify yourself on imponderables. Simplify, set goals, do your best to achieve short range goals and let the universe and Biggies take care of themselves. Sorry. Good luck!👍

The world is gonna be a crazy place in the next 10-20 years. The the more fit you are the greater your chances of survival. That’s my why

*adjusts tin-foil hat*

My wife never asked me this question but I often wondered myself why I do it. The answer is because I enjoy it. Sometimes people say a specific race is just a fun run for them. I respond that they are all fun runs or else I wouldn't do it.

The few times my wife complained about the time I spent running I would respond that golf was worse and more expensive.

I’ll be 32 soon. I’ve run competitively since 7th grade. Ran D1 in college. I’m still PRing at the 8K, 10K, half, and full. I have been running 100+ mile weeks and have no energy for anything else. My wife complains about me taking naps and going to bed early. She would like for me to be more lively when we are together. Due to this and the fact that I know my days of improving are limited, I’ve decided to go all in for the remainder of this year to maximize my potential. For me, the “why?” is because running has always been my identity, my passion, my hobby, and truly want to give it everything I have and maximize my potential.

I sincerely appreciate all of the responses. I'm motivated to just keep going and improving while I still can. But also understanding that family and work come first. I'm happiest when I'm fit and working toward a goal. I think it's just keeping things in perspective. No one gives a sh!t if you PR by five minutes in the marathon; you're the only person who will know the difference. It's not worth stressing or skipping family time to add an extra 10 miles to your week. However, I think it's worth it to keep pushing when you can and have something for yourself that you can be proud of. Lame "hobby jogger" inspirational post has concluded. Thanks again!

Wife maybe tried this to me after the first kid was born. Need to be more available, have energy throughout the day etc. In the end kids just took naps so I run more. I run for me. personal time, personal goals.

Tell her you are you who are and this is what you want to do. Don't let her make your life about her. Get any relationship pain out of the way early.

Dude. Same age... I feel like I've got 3-5 years left to improve. BUT WHY? Sh!t is so hard and yet I keep grinding and I have no explanation

The main answer for me is that I enjoy it. I also answer that I could spend as much or more time and money if my hobby was golf. Two other points/comments I'll make. First is that I probably never reached my potential because I rarely let my running get in the way of family or work. My second reaction is, "why does she care?" I'm asking why she cares because if it is getting in the way of family issues/time, then maybe (like any hobby) you need to re-think your priorities. If her concerns are just because she doesn't understand it then all you can do is try to explain the satisfaction you get. Many people will spend 5-8 hours fishing (or related activities) on a Saturday or Sunday. Running 20 miles can't be worse than that.