Yes, you also knew the ex sucked when you married your wife. Otherwise she wouldn’t have left him. He’s probably annoying to have to deal with, but you knew you were marrying a woman who came with baggage.
Taking that out on the kid isn’t fair. He will resent you, she may also start resenting you if she feels you’re putting her in the position of siding with you or with her kid, and it won’t change how the ex feels or acts.
I have an idea what if I do a go fund me and all of you that have a serious opinion help pay to show me how much of a loser I am? The catch is if you disagree then you need to shut up because you are no different and are opinionated and would not pay for your kids education either and would expect them to take out loans also!
Personal responsibility and self-sufficiency means refusing to pay for your own kid but demanding strangers do it!
Buddy, you’re the one who came on here whining. If you want people to shut up and not have an opinion there’s an easy solution: don’t invite people into your business.
Lets be real her my dad and I are close my dad's net income was well over 7 figures when he was working and he made it clear that college was on me he would not contribute. It was the best thing he ever did for me. I am self sufficient and have been from a young age. My high school best friend parents paid for college and everything else for him financially he is now a drug addict and struggles. He has yet to find a career, or a stable life at age 39.
My dad is from an extremely poor developing country and grew up in complete poverty - like no shoes, no food, tin shack. When it became obvious he was clever and he did well on the entrance exams, everyone in his family sacrificed to send him to school. An uncle who lived in the UK working as a janitor scrimped and saved and sent back money. When he got into university abroad, everyone put in what they could, and would send whatever money they had for him to be a success, often taking money from their own needs. He did succeed, which allowed him to raise children out of poverty all of whom now have great professional jobs. He now sends money back to all the family who supported him, built the family a new home in a safe area, sponsors our cousins to go to school, and so on.
This is 2022 that is no longer reality it is a dog eat dog world out there and only the strong survive! I grew up with a survival mentality which is why I am doing well. I want my kids to understand hand outs don't exist in life!
Wow, you have a lot of rage and inferiority complexes. Getting some therapy will help you deal with your fears of inadequacy, anger at the world, and inability to integrate your sense of self. You will become a better partner and father if you lose the chip on your shoulder, have some compassion for yourself and others, and stop feeling resentful of others, feelings of inferiority you mask in rhetoric of “self sufficiency” and “personal responsibility.” You feel anger because you feel others have not cared for and nurtured you; you cope with this by telling yourself that unkindness and selfishness are the way of the world, and so you won’t help anyone either.
Getting some therapy will help you come to terms with these feelings, and will help manage these outbursts of anger and well as your need for public validation, control, and uncontrolled rage when people (whether your stepson or a random person on a message board) don’t validate you or do what you want. People who are confident and sure in their decisions don’t need to ask strangers for approval, and people who have been thoughtful and believe their actions are just don’t fly into rages when others don’t agree. Only insecure people do that.
Poor kid. The only way taking on stepkids work is if you treat the same as your own. You should be proud that you raised a kid who wants to go to college. Why didn't you marry a childless woman if you didn't want the responsibility?
If I’m in position I will gladly pay for my daughter’s college, even if that means not paying my student loans and not saving a dime for retirement. I have $300k in student loans I have no plans to pay it off because I’d rather use the money for other investments and there’s ways to get it cancelled, such as starting a non profit and after 10 years of minimum payments they cancel it. And my minimum payments are $50 a month so problem solved. But the point is I would never want my daughter to have the weight of student loans.
Wow, you have a lot of rage and inferiority complexes. Getting some therapy will help you deal with your fears of inadequacy, anger at the world, and inability to integrate your sense of self. You will become a better partner and father if you lose the chip on your shoulder, have some compassion for yourself and others, and stop feeling resentful of others, feelings of inferiority you mask in rhetoric of “self sufficiency” and “personal responsibility.” You feel anger because you feel others have not cared for and nurtured you; you cope with this by telling yourself that unkindness and selfishness are the way of the world, and so you won’t help anyone either.
Getting some therapy will help you come to terms with these feelings, and will help manage these outbursts of anger and well as your need for public validation, control, and uncontrolled rage when people (whether your stepson or a random person on a message board) don’t validate you or do what you want. People who are confident and sure in their decisions don’t need to ask strangers for approval, and people who have been thoughtful and believe their actions are just don’t fly into rages when others don’t agree. Only insecure people do that.
This is a troll post I cant believe the amount of anger that it has produced. I am actually 15 years old and was just curious as to what adults thought of the college deal with parents paying! I personally don't think my parents are obligated to pay and am doing my part to set it up for myself.
Wow, you have a lot of rage and inferiority complexes. Getting some therapy will help you deal with your fears of inadequacy, anger at the world, and inability to integrate your sense of self. You will become a better partner and father if you lose the chip on your shoulder, have some compassion for yourself and others, and stop feeling resentful of others, feelings of inferiority you mask in rhetoric of “self sufficiency” and “personal responsibility.” You feel anger because you feel others have not cared for and nurtured you; you cope with this by telling yourself that unkindness and selfishness are the way of the world, and so you won’t help anyone either.
Getting some therapy will help you come to terms with these feelings, and will help manage these outbursts of anger and well as your need for public validation, control, and uncontrolled rage when people (whether your stepson or a random person on a message board) don’t validate you or do what you want. People who are confident and sure in their decisions don’t need to ask strangers for approval, and people who have been thoughtful and believe their actions are just don’t fly into rages when others don’t agree. Only insecure people do that.
This is a troll post I cant believe the amount of anger that it has produced. I am actually 15 years old and was just curious as to what adults thought of the college deal with parents paying! I personally don't think my parents are obligated to pay and am doing my part to set it up for myself.
Sorry, I’m not an adult I’m just a cat walking randomly on the keyboard.
He can go to public school (maybe even start a community college for two years then transfer), get a job or two (one during the school year - a second in the summer), apply for his own student aid, etc. And his grades weren't good enough for an academic scholarship? Of like others have suggested, the military for a couple of years.
I do understand things are different than when I went to undergrad and grad school, but come on...
Kids these days are soft. Wimpy coddling parents don't help.
This is a troll post I cant believe the amount of anger that it has produced. I am actually 15 years old and was just curious as to what adults thought of the college deal with parents paying! I personally don't think my parents are obligated to pay and am doing my part to set it up for myself.
Sorry, I’m not an adult I’m just a cat walking randomly on the keyboard.
Based on the dedication to your posts your not. You fell for it and are now trying to justify your involved ideocracy!
Sorry, I’m not an adult I’m just a cat walking randomly on the keyboard.
Based on the dedication to your posts your not. You fell for it and are now trying to justify your involved ideocracy!
Based on my dedication to posting, you cleverly deduced I’m not a cat? The fact I’m typing actual words in complete sentences didn’t tip you off? You should skip college and go be a detective. How did you ever guess I’m not a cat. You got me.
When people anonymously post about an issue with details about themselves and ask for opinions it is customary to respond to what is written, not to assume the person is actually a totally other secret identity and respond to that. You’re not exactly working for the CIA here, bud. Here, I’ll have a go. “I just ran a 5 mile tempo in around 30 minutes: 6:15, 6:00, 5:58, 5:55, 5:50. What could I run for a 10k”? “Haha dumbasses responding, I didn’t even run today!” Wow, I must be an international cat of mystery.
Horrendous grammar and spelling aside, however, I’m dubious a 15 year old would construct a series of posts with details of loans, mortgages, income percentages, etc. It’s more likely you’re just ashamed now that your sh**y parenting, fragile male ego, and towering insecurity are being read for filth so you fell back on the “haha it was a social experiment” because you can’t handle people not validating and agreeing with you. I note it was only once I (accurately) diagnosed your insecure rage, control issues, and pathetic search for validation from strangers to make up for your failures as a husband and parent that you suddenly shifted from “janitors are losers” to “haha just kidding it’s a joke.”
Based on the dedication to your posts your not. You fell for it and are now trying to justify your involved ideocracy!
Based on my dedication to posting, you cleverly deduced I’m not a cat? The fact I’m typing actual words in complete sentences didn’t tip you off? You should skip college and go be a detective. How did you ever guess I’m not a cat. You got me.
When people anonymously post about an issue with details about themselves and ask for opinions it is customary to respond to what is written, not to assume the person is actually a totally other secret identity and respond to that. You’re not exactly working for the CIA here, bud. Here, I’ll have a go. “I just ran a 5 mile tempo in around 30 minutes: 6:15, 6:00, 5:58, 5:55, 5:50. What could I run for a 10k”? “Haha dumbasses responding, I didn’t even run today!” Wow, I must be an international cat of mystery.
Horrendous grammar and spelling aside, however, I’m dubious a 15 year old would construct a series of posts with details of loans, mortgages, income percentages, etc. It’s more likely you’re just ashamed now that your sh**y parenting, fragile male ego, and towering insecurity are being read for filth so you fell back on the “haha it was a social experiment” because you can’t handle people not validating and agreeing with you. I note it was only once I (accurately) diagnosed your insecure rage, control issues, and pathetic search for validation from strangers to make up for your failures as a husband and parent that you suddenly shifted from “janitors are losers” to “haha just kidding it’s a joke.”
Truth hurts, huh?
Are you trying to brag I ran 9:19 for 3200m this spring so your tempo is a joke are you 100 years old?
Based on the dedication to your posts your not. You fell for it and are now trying to justify your involved ideocracy!
Based on my dedication to posting, you cleverly deduced I’m not a cat? The fact I’m typing actual words in complete sentences didn’t tip you off? You should skip college and go be a detective. How did you ever guess I’m not a cat. You got me.
When people anonymously post about an issue with details about themselves and ask for opinions it is customary to respond to what is written, not to assume the person is actually a totally other secret identity and respond to that. You’re not exactly working for the CIA here, bud. Here, I’ll have a go. “I just ran a 5 mile tempo in around 30 minutes: 6:15, 6:00, 5:58, 5:55, 5:50. What could I run for a 10k”? “Haha dumbasses responding, I didn’t even run today!” Wow, I must be an international cat of mystery.
Horrendous grammar and spelling aside, however, I’m dubious a 15 year old would construct a series of posts with details of loans, mortgages, income percentages, etc. It’s more likely you’re just ashamed now that your sh**y parenting, fragile male ego, and towering insecurity are being read for filth so you fell back on the “haha it was a social experiment” because you can’t handle people not validating and agreeing with you. I note it was only once I (accurately) diagnosed your insecure rage, control issues, and pathetic search for validation from strangers to make up for your failures as a husband and parent that you suddenly shifted from “janitors are losers” to “haha just kidding it’s a joke.”
Truth hurts, huh?
Based on your bit of sarcasm I would bet your could run a 10k in about 2 days!
A little background my wife and I are both educated we both have multiple master’s degrees. Income wise we make close to $200K however we did it on our own. My wife has heavy student loan debt close to $100K, I have minor loan debt $20K as I attended college on Track and XC Scholarship. My wife had a son prior to our marriage. The issue is the son’s biological does not make much money and recently married a woman with 3 kids already. The money need has somehow become the topic of conversation whenever he talks to us. Now our son I say our son as I have been in his life for over 14 years is applying to colleges and his biological is talking about how we need to help pay for college. We do well but have already been clear to both of our children that college is on you guys as in we will co-sign loans, but we are not going into additional debt when there are ways to get a degree without crazy debt. His biological was pissed when I said not happening, I am not going to pile on an additional mortgage payment when he can join the military and pay for school or take out loans himself. His biological also did not push sports on him when he wanted him to come live with him which limited scholarship opportunity. Years ago his biological paid us like $200 a month far less then he was required to pay we never made a big fuss over it. It is getting exceptionally annoying dealing with his especially when he starts demanding money for stuff that nobody assisted with me or my wife for. I get college is important but I did it on my own and I expect my kids to go but to do it themselves I think it is part of the first step of being an adult. Also Student loans can be deferred if needed while they are establishing themselves post college graduation.
Don’t let these rich ppl discourage you. Co-signing is more than enough. And nowadays 2 yrs at community and 2 yrs at full is better than 4 years at full. I have zero cosigners and I’m 2014
For anyone else: If you co-sign loans, guess what: you owe money.
I think you just gave a description of yourself!
Uh mods, why’d you delete my post? I have exceptional trolldar. If you want to hire me as a mod, I’m available. I won’t delete any posts just because they’re trolls; I’ll just laugh at you all who keep responding…
He can also get accepted at the local community college and pay less than a tenth of that and live at home.
My former secretary's kid got an inheritance and blew it all on one year at a top tier out of state school when he could have gone to a local state university and lived at home for the same money. He does very well at the local Walmart distribution center.
Your wife, sons Mother, has an obligation to help her son go to college. How much is subjective but she should feel like she can help the child she brought onto this earth with a reasonable amount each year.
Your incorrect there is no financial obligation through the courts that state we have to pay. We have paid for private schools car's that is all on our dime. It is time for dad to step up!
Jesus Christ. I can barely get through a sentence of yours without breaking out in hives.