here's a summary.
we're together for 5+ years and wedding scheduled to happen early next year. I love her and our life story, but reality is we live together for quite a while now (3+ years) and we're in a kind of tedious phase. She's a runner, she has a good job, she's nice and all and we get along very well, really. Just no surprises anymore. Just routine.
i fell badly for one person that I met in a flight two weeks ago, spent hours talking with and continued since them. Just chatting via text. She doesn't live in the same city but would be realistic to date her if I was not committed (easy short flight). She has pretty much the same age of my current partner (both 30). She knows I am committed to someone as I told her after a few hours during the flight (but not that I am getting married). She's very respectful but she admitted she likes me a lot and doesn't know what to do either.
it is a very complicated situation and I know many of you have experienced something similar.
it is hard, and unfair even, to compare the love you feel for your long term partner and the attractiveness of an adventure -- or more than an adventure I should say, now a person that I know reasonably well and sincerely like.
i know what is the "right thing to do". Eliminate this new woman from my life and focus on the wedding and then raising a family with my long-term partner.
but if I am honest to myself -- this is not what I sincerely want to do. I've been thinking of many crazy scenarios in my head including ending the relationship and wedding plans, which rationally, I know it is crazy.
you can judge me but as the plane landed me and this other woman kissed, which made 50% of me feel absolutely terrible afterwards, and the other 50% wanting more. I was not going to admit this here because I know many will judge me, and maybe I am just a terrible person, but it was stronger than me. Maybe I am just very weak and can't hold to the values I speak of.
we apologized to each other but can't control the texting since then.
it has been very very difficult and I am in serious pain with the dilemma "desperately want to do" x "rationally should do".