about to get married and fell for another woman

Not to be too obvious, but you are not really "committed to someone" if you talk to someone else for hours on a flight and then get their number so you can text some more and pine for them.

Having mad sex

Part of the problem is that you’re doing everything that married couples do, but you aren’t actually married. Putting the cart before the horse can run you into a lot of problems.

I appreciate the many nice replies and advices here.

It is hard to swallow, but yes, as one stated, if that happened, I am not really that committed, at least as I thought I was. However, not to speak highly of me, but through these years I've had many opportunities and temptations and I was always able to follow my rational side with woman as beautiful as this one. I've been told by many woman that I am an attractive guy and that feels like a curse because I am weak and fall for girls often. I might sound like an arrogant and I am sorry if I do but it is much easier to be faithful if you're not deemed as an attractive person by beautiful woman. It certainly hasn't been easy for me to remain faithful. But I totally get it - I am not a victim and don't need to justify when it is clear that I am wrong in doing what I am doing.

I was just weaker this time and could not resist. The fact we were in a plane certainly had an impact as I felt I had "no escape" other than continuing with the talking and flirting (I did not want to "escape" but if you're in your day to day it is much easier to get distracted). Long trips also can feel like somewhat a "dream" before you go back to "real life". This time I was not strong enough to resist and I am still to understand why. It seems I did like this woman way more than average as the texting continues, though somewhat occasionally.

Believe me, this story is true and I am in a mix of real pain, thrilling excitement but also fear. Fear of devastating the woman that has been at my side in some very tough moments I went through, devastating our families and everyone else getting excited with the wedding.

If you were sitting in coach/economy class, let her go. If it was first class, it might be worth exploring.

If you were already married, you would likely come to realize and accept that this situation and your feelings for this new girl will pass with time.

As someone already shared, the fact that you’re currently living together has complicated the situation.

You asked for our advice - personally I would stick it out and get married. Good luck to you.

A wank followed by a cold shower.

Honestly. You need to just commit.

Those feelings you have about airplane girl, they’ll eventually fade as well. it’s just a short term thrill. Those feelings are fleeting.

Bottom line, you are not ready to get married. Things will spiral quickly out of control if you marry this girl. Do everyone a favor, especially yourself and call it off. This is a turning point in your life, don't be afraid to make the right decision.

This was an interesting thread. I particularly liked the one about the guy whose woman of his dreams had been married several times but he readily concluded the woman was fine while her exes were not.

Just want to point out this: food tastes different at altitude. Not encouraging you to kiss again on the ground but just wanted to let you know in case the pandemic caused that taste-test to slip.

I’ll be celebrating my 30th anniversary next year. I couldn’t imagine spending 30 years with my wife if I really lived somebody else.

Stop wasting your fiancé’s time. I say this as a woman who had her heart absolutely destroyed by the person I thought I was going to marry…him ending things was the best thing that happened to me.

Both of you are still young, and the fact that you crossed the line with your fellow passenger tells me you are not ready to commit to your current partner. That’s fine. Please let her go, let her move on, let her find love and partnership with someone who will cherish and respect her in 10, 20, 30 years. Both of you will be happier this way.

This was a rollercoaster

I appreciate your reply, even though that's a hard one to swallow. However things are not so black or white as they appear to be, or as we can judge it from the outside. I understand your perspective, but please factor that:

- 5+ years without making mistakes such as the one i've did. Ok, you might say that's nothing, but reality is I had many opportunities and the reason I haven't gone ahead was purely because of my fiancee and our relationship. I love her and want to raise a family with her -- that's why we have our wedding scheduled. I am not a gambler playing with feelings of the person I love.

- making a mistake as such doesn't come for free. I am experiencing significant mental pain and a dilemma that's making every other aspect of my life hard. Work is not going well, sleeping is not going well, running is not going well. In summary, if I am truly honest, I blame myself a lot for what happened.

- Judging from the outside is easy but I haven't deliberately chosen that to happen. It was f* hard to resist and I've done what I could but at some point I gave up. It was stronger than me, she was too attractive and I was too weak or not fully committed, whichever way you prefer to put it.

Think about it:

Your writing, and this post in particular, carries the syntax and sentence structure I would expect from a virgin. Now I’m wondering: OP, are you really 17 or are you a rare 35 year old virgin?

English is not my first language, so I am sorry if there are mistakes. I try my best.

Awww the dilemma of man. So many women so little time. I am going to attempt to give you sound advice here…………… choose the one that you can stand for the rest of your life. Because that’s what it’s all about. Compatibility is a top 5 relationship must. Now this woman you just met has definitely got your attention and you are all of a sudden questioning your current commitment. Take a long hard look into the 8 ball and choose wisely👍👍

Sure, if you are attractive, you’ll have an easier time picking up women if you are looking. But don’t fool yourself into thinking it’s any harder to remain faithful if that is your honest intent. It’s like saying that women have a harder time remaining faithful because they typically have many more opportunities than men. But that’s not the case, because fideltiy is more about your intentions.

If you start conversations with women in flirtatious ways, don’t be surprised when you get yourself into sketchy situations that require restraint. You can avoid having to use that restraint if you don’t get neck deep in the first place.

Not judging at all, but that outcome is your choice. I think you like the attention and didn’t mention your girl until the feelings were already there for a while. You like the thrill and thought you could slow things down if needed. But when you open Pandora’s Box, don’t be surprised if it becomes something you can’t control.