about to get married and fell for another woman

go for a run.

i've been to many runs since. Doesn't help.

brother chill out. you are not married. you can still back out of this engagement (i reccomend you do).

if you had to date this girl this long and never got married and have started feeling bored/routine like this, your marriage is already going to be off on a bad start (there should be genuine excitement for a marriage, like you almost can't sleep you are so excited about it).

youll look back years later and feel so much better you did this.

I’ve been in the same boat and live with some regret. Think really hard before ending the current relationship.

I would be honest about the situation with my partner before it goes too far with the other woman. If you're bored, it's quite likely she feels the same to be honest - Perhaps you'll realise aren't right for eachother, but it's just as likely that you've slipped into bad routines and both just need to make some effort in your relationship again. The thing is, you only get to make that choice if you're honest before going too far with the other woman. In short, don't be hasty - Talk to your partner and see if you can get back to what you clearly once had - If you can't salvage it, you'll have tried and can move on with no regrets. Good luck.

2/10 as you have gotten some to take the bait.

When in doubt switch her out.

Sounds like you're not 100% committed to your partner. Be fair to her and yourself and live separately for awhile to figure out your commitment level. See a good relationship counselor as well. If you do get married you don't want to be acting out the same unfaithful behavior.

In addendum, how would YOU feel if you knew your partner was meeting guys on airline flights and making out with strange men? Think about it.

I feel sorry for the guy in the middle seat.

I would be very surprised to learn my husband is gay.

Without knowing all the details, I would say everything feels routine after 5 years. I’ve had 4 long term relationships, including my my current wife.

The first 6 months or so with someone new brings mystery and lust. Then you eventually move in, have sex as many ways as possible and live real life together. Jobs, bills, running and mundane details dominate the conversations.

You have to make a choice, could regret either outcome. Unless there is something truly special about this new person, you will likely regret calling off the wedding.

just do whatever Waylon Jennings would do

Sounds like you shouldn't marry at this point in your life.

One solution could be: Ditch you old relationship, try the new one which most likely won't work out and go from there.

Or you could just marry and have regrets for the rest of your life. ( I know people who life that way)

It's a tough call. It's likely the new relationship wouldn't work out if you break your engagement, even as wonderful as the fantasy seems at the moment.

Or, the airplane lady could be THE one for you. Who knows?

Looking back on my own situations, I still wonder "what if." But not often. Life seems tovakways work out for the best.

I was crazy in love with a woman all through collage. But she insisted the relationship be only platonic. A couple years after graduation, we reconnected. As friends. We were both early in our careers, living a few hours apart. We got together a few times -- bike rides, dinner, comparing career notes. I was still crazy about her, but was determined not to cross that line, not to sully our friendship.

Meanwhile, I was dating a nice woman. Things were serious, and we got engaged -- the wedding planned for the next year.

My college friend's response to the news: "Didn't you think of asking ME to marry you?"

I almost broke my engagement, but felt committed to my fiancee. And afraid a break-up would devastate her. So, we married, bought a house, had two kids, advanced our careers. Bought a bigger house. A good life, but not a passionate marriage. That ended in divorce after 10 years. We still get along OK. Our sons are grown. Two grandsons.

After the divorce, I met a beautiful, bright, passionate woman in a running club. She is a dream come true. We've been together for 24 years, married for 17. The passion and romance is still as great as ever.

You never know how things might work out. My sons are wonderful, so no regrets about my first marriage. Looking back, I don't think I'd change anything. Everything led to the happiness I have now. I suppose there is no RIGHT or WRONG decision.

Good luck.

An addendum to my story above:

The day after I proposed to my current wife, I was going through my email and saw one I had somehow missed a few days earlier: From my college "friend" I hadn't heard from in many years. She said she was recently divorced and was "available." Ha!

I don't know if this helps, but I've known my fiancée since I was in high school. I had a big crush on her in college, but never asked her out and we eventually both left our hometown for other opportunities.

I met my ex-wife, got married, had kids, and moved back to my hometown 11 years after I left. She and I had mutual friends, ran around in the same social circles and became friends. I drove her daughter to school for a few months, eight years ago and when I met the girl I thought, "She should have been mine." It was an odd thought.

My ex-wife and I split 5 years ago and my fiancée and her ex divorced last year. We met up for drinks one night last July and have been inseparable ever since.

On the flipside, my fiancée was engaged to a guy her senior year of college, let an old high school flame talk her out of getting married, and then dumped her almost immediately. She dated another dips--t we went to high school with, married him quickly, and filed for divorce about 4 months in.

She met the father of her kids about a year later... he has the personality of a doorknob, but he treated her well and she got married. It wasn't a happy marriage, I could see that from across the room at birthday parties, and he ended up cheating on her with the back-up singer of the band he was in.

For a long time she regretted breaking things off with her college sweetheart, buy it eventually led to us reconnecting and getting together.

Whatever you do, you might regret. Talk to your current partner and clear the air. If the relationship is salvageable, then work on it. If it isn't, then move on.

Have a couple kids and work on your retirement plans... you're done.