So, I've been the captain of a pretty successful team for about three years.
Worked my ass off and put up some great times, not power 5 fast, but several coaches from smaller D1s sent me letters and emails.
I've committed to an academically solid college just for school, not running.
But, at the state meet, I was supposed to be our #1 and we were going to win easily. I had the worst race of my life and we didn't even medal. It was humiliating. Made me want to quit, and was one of the reasons why I chose not to run in the NCAA.
It's all over now, spare this season, and I'm just cruising till graduation. Truth be told, I just don't have the motivation to run like I used to. I'm sick of dealing with my coach, my teammates are assholes, and running, in general, isn't as much fun as it used to be.
If I had my way, I'd graduate tomorrow and start training for an Ironman or something.
Yesterday, I skipped the team's mile time trial with a fake covid related excuse, because I just didn't want to race. I found myself feeling apathetic over my own damn fitness level.
Am I justified?