I don't know a single person in a happy marriage.
I don't know a single person in a happy marriage.
bigopera wrote:
I don't know a single person in a happy marriage.
When you put it that way, neither do I.
I totally understand women glorifying it and influencing their children with the glorification of marriage. However it is such an antiquated institution. I'd consider many men that get married to be SIMPING simply by getting married. Then they want to cheat and so does their wife, contrary to their vows. Makes no sense at all for most men. If I wanted to gamble half my money and assets, I'd much rather put it on a football game than on a woman. At least I'd have the shot to make money rather than either losing half or remaining the same and getting the post nuptial shutoff while I'm at it.
bigopera wrote:
I don't know a single person in a happy marriage.
By definition you aren’t married if you’re a single person, so no dur.
I've never understood marriage outside of a religious context. As a Roman Catholic, it's a God-given holy sacrament.
You need to get over your hate of women.
I’m in a happy marriage. I’m a 35F and my husband is 40.
We do not have children.
My salary is $240k and his is $70k.
Our marriage is predicated upon our love and commitment to one another and that is that. I have no ulterior motives or financial skin in the game....although I deeply respect parenting and those who choose to have kids.
Anyway, yeah, happy marriages exist.
Well you don't know me.
I am happy in my marriage.
Freshman level thinking so far in this thread. Plenty of people enjoy happy marriages; some aren’t successful as with most things in life.
BREAKING: Incels and man that must pay for sex don’t understand marriage.
Point made.
bigonclassicmusic wrote:
Well you don't know me.
I am happy in my marriage.
But you aren't single. OP said he doesn't know any single people who are happily married.
I'm happy and married 20+ years. We have 4 kids, jobs, mortgage, etc. We have had problems and successes and still love each other. Love is choice and action, not exclusively feelings and orgasms - you can get those on Hallmark and Pornhub. Marriage is commitment and work, but not much work. Its like spinning a bicycle wheel, once it is up to speed and functioning it doesn't take much to keep it going. I'm a young, old-school Christian. I read the Bible and attend church. I know married people that are happy that don't, but it has helped and has kept us together in times when we might have otherwise quit.
Don't be so cynical. Step away from the screens. Step away from other cynics.
Honest response:
The wisdom of marriage is lost on the self-centered. In a world focused on "me time" and "self care" it doesn't compute well. It's an institution designed to compel individuals to consider the well-being of others (especially when kids enter the picture) above one's self. The lesson kicks in when you discover, ironically, that your selfless sacrifices generate a significantly more fulfilling and joyful existence for yourself.
Many have but they are pilloried for it.
bigopera wrote:
I don't know a single person in a happy marriage.
You might want to broaden the group of people you know.
hobby jogging harry wrote:
bigopera wrote:
I don't know a single person in a happy marriage.
When you put it that way, neither do I.
Beat me to it!
bigopera wrote:
I don't know a single person in a happy marriage.
Then you need to meet more people. Marriage works far better than the alternative (people having kids outside of wedlock), and there are plenty of statistics that back that up. Your problem is you want another person to conform to your expectation of their role in a marriage. Life is about balance and comes in phases. It's like the bard Billy Shakespeare once wrote:
All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts...
The key to life is finding joy in each of the roles that we play throughout our lives. Yes, being single is different than being married, but there are parts of marriage that (for me at least) far out measure many things I enjoyed when I was single. I do not want to go back to being single. I have enjoyed spending time with my wife, having kids, watching them grow and re-living all of the experiences of youth from a different perspective. It's not always easy, but being single and living solely for one's self wasn't always perfect either. To each their own, but don't allow your judgement to become too clouded to miss out on many of the wonderful experiences you can have in this life that can only come through marriage, and yes, at times that means sacrificing a part of yourself for the well being of your family.
It's been tried over and over. Look at most communes that were started in the 60's, different religions, etc..
That being said, the current system allows for de facto polygamy. A man can marry and divorce and/or just father children with any number of women and be held financially responsible for his offspring. If all the women are cool with it, and they get along with the other women it's only a hair short of state sanctioned polygamy.
+1 one of the few on this website that can handle the English language well
The key with marriage is to fully understand and realize that you are still individuals and you will not always have the same desires or motivations. Overtime those desires and motivations will change, and if you don't manage those changes and communicate, then there will be issues. You can't make a promise at time "x" and expect you to feel the same at "x + n" years. The fallacy is expecting things to stay the same. They can't and they won't.
Communication is the key, as everyone ever been married knows, but where people fall short is that they think "saying words" is communication. That's not it. The key is getting your point across so that the other person understands, and sadly most people aren't looking to understand anything that they themselves don't believe in.