Agree and disagree. I have coached high school CC and track and was a competitive runner in HS/college. Just a few years of coaching, but enough to see your side of things and realize you've probably been snake bit before. I played football in high school in the Fall all the way through my Junior year and was a mid-distance runner in track in the Spring. The football v. CC pressure was a constant debate and source of stress. I've been in both the athlete and coach's shoes here and one thing really helped me during my journey; reasonable level-headed adults (that's the coaches) who did not espouse a it's my way or the highway philosophy. That is a recipe for disaster regardless of the sport and we're right in the middle of it. It should all circle back to what's best for each individual child and not the coach's selfish proclamations that (s)he may attempt to disguise with a phony "this is what's best for the team" mantra. That's simply BS. It's a sliding scale of course where attitude and effort mean everything. A self-important entitled athlete who feels like she can come and go as she pleases and is not up front with the coach re: other commitments won't cut it and can be toxic. But as a coach, a mentor and a leader of young athletes, shouldn't we be open to working with everyone who makes our team better, both in and out of the sport? Isn't this what coaching is all about? This is true for any sport, including soccer (have you not seen and read my handle?) and yes . . . even football.
I do concur that CC and track usually get the short side of the stick as it relates to conflicts. There is definitely a line that needs to be drawn here, which should be dependent on the individual athlete and not an arbitrary one size fits all you're out rule. Don't get me started on "almighty football." I lived it and loved it, but things got really stressful when I realized my best chance at being an athlete and getting financial support in college would not be on the gridiron. I had to choose if I wanted to move on. I would note that my football coach was never so selfish as to discourage me from running. On the other side of it, my track coach knew the choice was a no brainer, but was also open-minded, tolerant and patient. Both were leaders of young men who tried to develop what they saw in each individual athlete. It's a fine line with multi-sport kids, but one that's worth walking to realize greatness as a coach and more importantly, a human being.
In terms of your flipping it above, you don't have to pose hypotheticals. My daughter is living it. We have respectfully and politely told the soccer coach no (the pi$$ offs from my earlier post are delicately delivered) on many occasions because of her running conflicts. We've done the same with the CC and track coach depending on the time of year and game or meet. I honestly think it's been more stressful on her parents than her, which has taught me something: if the kid can make it work and is smiling and happy the whole way through, shut the F up and make it work. This is a short window and although it's a mad and frenzied dance most of the time, it will all be over soon and I will undoubtedly miss it.
Finally, this scenario we're in has nothing to do with my girl getting an athletic scholarship. 0%. She simply loves to compete and does not face the financial pressures I did at her age. Our sport tug-of-war is a wonderful problem to have. Her Mom and Dad were both college athletes, which is a huge commitment with plenty or pros and cons. I personally think she could run at the D1 level. I also have no doubt she could also play soccer in college if that's what she decides. Or she could do neither and just be a student. To be determined. The important thing here is the happiness, maturation and development of the kid, which can be hindered by coaches who believe the world revolves around their sport alone.
I've said more than my fair share here and can only encourage all of us to try and be better at what we do, whether that be coaching or parenting.