mental aspect

My kid keeps "getting into his own head." Every strategy I have tried has not worked. Anyone got a solution?

Over my head? wrote:

My kid keeps "getting into his own head." Every strategy I have tried has not worked. Anyone got a solution?

Unless your kid asked you for help, stop. He is probably trying his best and you are setting unrealistic expectations on him.

Yo OP how old is your kid? How many years running? What events?

Over my head? wrote:

My kid keeps "getting into his own head." Every strategy I have tried has not worked. Anyone got a solution?

This might be news for you: You kid has it's own head.

Over my head? wrote:

My kid keeps "getting into his own head." Every strategy I have tried has not worked. Anyone got a solution?

They say you need to destroy a man to build him back up.

Please don't... wrote:

Over my head? wrote:

My kid keeps "getting into his own head." Every strategy I have tried has not worked. Anyone got a solution?

Unless your kid asked you for help, stop. He is probably trying his best and you are setting unrealistic expectations on him.

You have it backwards. He puts the pressure on himself. He struggles when passed by others, and starts questioning his own abilities. His dad says he has always been like this. This is his sixth year of competitive running. He is the third of four boys, and the older ones always passed down the criticism. He is trying to overcome their harsh words, but they just overwhelm him when competing. He can run as many miles as any other kid on the team, and beat them back, but racing has him stumped.

I don't buy into that philosophy. I believe that the best way is to build confidence. This one has me stumped. He has asked if I have had any other runners with the same issue, so he can talk with them about how they beat it. I don't know of previous ones because I have always felt confidence was the key, so I try to instill that in all of them.

I will add that when he was in middle school, he was something like the sixth runner on the team, but in HS, he is second or third. You would think the constant improvement would give him that confidence.

Sixth year of XC. He didn't do track until last spring. He played soccer every track season before, but knows his best chance at a scholarship would be with running.

Bump. One would think with all these experts here, someone would give a good answer.

Well you weren’t clear in the beginning and no one said you’re a bad parent or anything, but we often do more harms than good when we meddle.

If your kid asked you to find help, here’s the people I would talk to: 1) licensed child psychologist, 2) pediatrician, 3) guidance counselor (if you have rapport and they are worth it)

Chances are your kid is going to find a way to get through this and it will involve outside influences. If he winds up doing well but you are not directly involved, will you be ok about that? Are you willing to let him struggle and fail?

Over my head? wrote:

Sixth year of XC. He didn't do track until last spring. He played soccer every track season before, but knows his best chance at a scholarship would be with running.

XC/Track scholarships are extremely difficult to obtain and probably an unrealistic goal for your son.

I agree with the other poster that you should get counseling for your son. It seems his lack of self confidence would affect other aspects of his life besides running.

llort_vbo wrote:

Well you weren’t clear in the beginning and no one said you’re a bad parent or anything, but we often do more harms than good when we meddle.

If your kid asked you to find help, here’s the people I would talk to: 1) licensed child psychologist, 2) pediatrician, 3) guidance counselor (if you have rapport and they are worth it)

Chances are your kid is going to find a way to get through this and it will involve outside influences. If he winds up doing well but you are not directly involved, will you be ok about that? Are you willing to let him struggle and fail?

If you had read my other posts, it was very clear. Further, it has been stated that I am his coach and not his parent.

SDSU Aztec wrote:

Over my head? wrote:

Sixth year of XC. He didn't do track until last spring. He played soccer every track season before, but knows his best chance at a scholarship would be with running.

XC/Track scholarships are extremely difficult to obtain and probably an unrealistic goal for your son.

I agree with the other poster that you should get counseling for your son. It seems his lack of self confidence would affect other aspects of his life besides running.

Not my son, and you are wrong about scholarships. I have seen plenty of runners from our school get them without the best times.

No it was not clear and I’m guessing this is a troll post. I read your posts here and you never stated that you were his coach. You made passing reference to his dad and I took that to mean you were mom, or his other dad.

That being said, if you are serious, this is pro-level creepy to me. Why not let ‘your’ kid’s parents help him? Talk to them.

Belief in oneself is a choice.

Tell your runner to stop being a little b and CHOOSE to believe in himself.

Mate, the self-sabotaging thoughts: Most everyone has them. And words have IMMENSE power. Help your kid take a step back and look at the words he's using in his inner dialogue. Help him to pretend momentarily that he's a script writer. What would be some of the words he'd like to change? How would he change those words? How would those new words make him feel? It's an under the radar way of changing his thoughts, hence his feelings, hence his actions, hence his results.

OVER MY HEAD

I ever knew

I never knew that everything was falling through

That everyone i knew was waiting on a cue

To turn and run when all i needed was the truth

But that's how it's got to be

It's coming down to nothing more than apathy

I'd rather run the other way than stay and see

The smoke and who's still standing when it clears

Everyone knows I'm in

Over my head

With eight seconds left in overtime

She's on your mind, she's on your mind

Let's rearrange

I wish you were a stranger i could disengage

Just say that we agree and then never change

Soften a bit until we all just get along

But that's disregard

Find another friend and you discard

As you lose the arguments in a cable car

Hanging above as the canyon comes between

Everyone knows I'm in

Over my head, over my head

With eight seconds left in overtime

She's on your mind, she's all on

And suddenly I become a part of your past

I'm becoming the part that doesn't last

I'm losing you and it's effortless

Without a sound we lose sight of the ground

In the throw around

Never thought that you wanted to bring it down

I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves