Is age 35-50 the worst part of life?

Middle age is depressing wrote:

- No more PRs

- Still a long way from retirement

- Parents and other older relatives start dying

- Having to deal with teenage kids (for parents) or loneliness (for singles)

Discus(s).

It's rather silly to assume everyone's life follows the same arc.

I'd finished my track career, stopped coaching, and 'started' my work career.

So I never had a break.

Now I am 67, been retired 10 years, and the last decade has seen 8 big surgeries. 15 overall. All from my hard track career, and a couple of bike accidents.

I can tell you that the last decade is hard work. Rehab is hard and painful, and the finish line is close.

dr mike wrote:

I’m 28 and am afraid to spend hardly any of my extra income due to the obsession of early retirement.

I am having trouble with balancing enjoying the moment while also planning for the future.

I fear reaching my late 30s and regretting not splurging some and doing cool things

If you are a medical doctor, stop worrying about money. I don't know any poor doctors. Many practice into their 70s, not out of need, but because they enjoy the social interaction. If, on the other hand, you have a doctorate in Art History, then you should scrimp and save every penny.

40 yo here. I do believe middle age is difficult for many men. As one poster alluded to earlier, the study showed male happiness was the worst in the 40s and 50s. I believe this is due to perceived success—another recent study shows the number 1 factor **by far** in male happiness is career satisfaction.

In your 40s and 50s, if you’ve achieved conventional success—I speak here of stereotypical Western financial success—, even as your physical strength declines, you feel a deep and abiding satisfaction that you’ve “made it.” If you’ve been unsuccessful, you can really get down on yourself, especially if you see friends or family doing well.

At 60 and above, my theory is guys learn to be more thankful for what they do have, instead of wincing at their shortcomings. They learn it’s all relative, that so much is down to luck, and so many bad things can happen, a wise man just gets down on his knees and gives thanks for any good he has. This is why male happiness gets better after 60.

If you have taken care of yourself physically, mentally, and financially, the gaps between yourself and those who have NOT start to become HUGE between 35-50. I just went to a wedding and folks are looking rough if they slack off; the winners now have second homes, the losers are scraping for rent. The winners are fit and trim, the losers are obese. Etc, etc. Tough but true.

Keep your stomach flat. Do not gain weight. You can NOT eat much after 35. Running is huge for increasing QUALITY of life, not length. I find length of life after 50 to be much more of a crapshoot.

Save and invest aggressively from your 20s. If you haven’t, start today.

Staying slim and rich will do wonders for avoiding depression. So much of the rest of life is out of our control, try your very best to KICK ASZ at what you can. You CAN control your food intake and your savings rate.

I have achieved conventional success, but knowing the male happiness curve, I have tried to accelerate my mindset to the post-60 state I mentioned above. It’s all relative: I’m fit and trim, but not as special as my youth and never a pro. That’s ok. I’m thankful for my health and mobility.

I’m wealthy and comfortable, but no titan of industry and never will be. That’s ok. I’m thankful for my good fortune.

Bad things have happened, including terrible things for both parents and a child. That’s ok. I’m thankful for the strength to meet the challenges the best I can.

Get down on your knees every day from 35-60 and give thanks for what you have, and do your very best to control what you can, and I wager our depression will be much abated.

Good luck to us all.

I think it depends on whether you've found your niche or if you're dissatisfied with how your life is turning out. Way too late to dream about your potential when you're 40, but if you're doing well in your job and have a good family life, you should be happy. But it's much harder to do well in a job these days than it was for our parents. And if you're just treading water financially with no realistic hope of a comfortable retirement or ability to give your kids a good education, I can see how you might see things differently.

I was way unhappier in my 20s when I didn't know what to do with myself or what would make me happy, and couldn't just follow the premade path of going to a good school and running well on my team. Now that I'm through that, and am more OK with my limitations, I'm feeling a lot more secure.

Changing goals, some perspective of opportunities missed, but still young enough to make some of these things happen. RESPONSIBILITIES. Raising kids and start doing more for your parents than they do for you (if you're lucky). REAL PRESSURE. Rise, Work and hopefully Exercise, repeat. Distance runners are made for the long grind, which you are old enough to now realize.

Make it happen. Be proud to be needed.

read through a lot of this thread.. a couple good points.. number one.. try and enjoy every stage.. you only do it once.. I have thought about that a lot raising kids.

52 now teacher/coach-- wife an educator as well.. and my best friend... good life.. got married and had kids a bit later.. 33/34... Girls now in HS.. coaching them and its awesome... our educator lifestyle has allowed us to be around and involved with our kids.. take a couple cool adventure vacations.. live well .. not wealthy but comfortable... so far our girls awesome human beings!!

racing is over but kids sports and adventures more than make up for it!!!

To the original question, let me put it this way—no.

About the PR thing. I used to run 100-120 per week on top of a full time job. I could not have worked harder so I really feel I got the most out myself in this sport. .

Now I coach, and when I go running I can go long, slow, fast when I feel like it at any arbitrary distance on any given day. I like this. I don't care about there being no more PR's in running. Been there, done that.

Met the wife at 35. We've built love, friendship and major equity/retirement savings

Took off for Mexico for a year @ 40, huge fun enjoying various regions of this amazing culture/country

Built up businss/client base.

Became parents

Started permanent vacation at 50 and moved to southern Mexico.

Yes, I never broke 5:00 in the mile past age 46, but running and completing is still fun. Started running half marathons at age 57, started running marathons at age 62.

Middle age is great. Buy real estate (build equity) as early as possible. But! Stay out of consumer debt!

Don't be a drunk.

Respect other people

Keep running.

There are challenges, lock horns with them straight on. Run directly into your fears and embrace change/

Middle age is depressing wrote:

- No more PRs

- Still a long way from retirement

- Parents and other older relatives start dying

- Having to deal with teenage kids (for parents) or loneliness (for singles)

Discus(s).

I'd say it'd come out as the best time if you ran a poll for middle class.