I have had an ongoing condition with severe social anxiety, i am still in highschool and every day is such a battle, i have no friends, no one to talk to and feel like a outcast, i come across as weak or ill because of my unability to express and communicate with others, im only respected for running. It is the only thing i that i have hope for other than god. This is me, this is who i am.
I know this is long but please bare with me
Today, i couldn't handle it anymore, a teacher called on me and i froze and i started crying, yes i actually cried in the middle of class. I felt so pathetic and stupid. None of you could even bare to understand what it's like. Im starting to feel drained in my runs, my times and workouts have not suffered yet and im managing 70mpw very well. But one of the things i concerned about is i feel much more drained in running after school, i do know that my resting heart rate is through the roof at school, im always constantly so anxious and nervous my arm pits sweat, my vision gets blurry and my face gets red, i start breathing real hard and it is so miserable, i literally hide in the bathroom stalls and eat at lunch and during e/i because im so afraid of social interaction with peers.
Im a senior in hs and i don't know what i will do when i need a job, this is why i feel running is my only hope to get me through life other than gods grace. I do believe through gods will and mine that i can become a pro in running, i accept that i am extremly introverted and not at all socially adapted at my age. I just need to move on and accept who i am and enjoy life my own way and live secluded, i just don't enjoy social interaction anymore, it's not in my receptors anymore.
I know i talked alot but some people dont get social anxiety so i wanted to tell you what it's like to have this horrible condition. And i hope it is not effecting my running.