Did you ever have a Mom or Dad or close grandparent die and leave you siblings WAY more then you

You’re saying that you had a good relationship with your grandma, keep those memories and don’t let the money issue get in the way of that.

Why is your father in charge of distributing the money if he is not your grandma’s son? He’s her son in law right? Is he a gold digger? Is he taking advantage of the situation? Is that what you’re getting at?

There must be a way to find out what was on your grandma’s will and then have a discussion/challenge your father on the subject.

I hope you resolve the issue but in any case, don’t let money sabotage your memories. And remember, your grandma doesn’t/didn’t owe you anything so if it was her choice, accept it and move on.

Good luck!

the truth is wrote:

On the one hand you got some free money which is better than most, but on the other hand you got screwed. I probably would be hurt and angered.

From the other end, I am writing my will and I divided things equally between my two daughters. But, I really don't want to because one daughter is very well off financially and the other is just doing okay. The poorer really could use the extra money but I don't want hard feelings after I die, so I am giving them equal treatment.

Your dead grandmother was a rich batch.

The best advice is to be open about it with your daughters. Tell them what you are doing, so they are not surprised after your gone. This way you can all talk about it while you are around. As a parent, there is nothing you would hate more than to see your children not get along. Once you are gone, it can't be fixed and there might be resentment to their siblings or to you.

Just because one child did better than the other is not a good argument for not splitting things evenly. Why should she be penalized for doing well? OTOH, perhaps she is a giving person and will tell you to give the sister a little more, knowing she can use it more than her.

Again, the best advice I got was to let everyone know what is in the will. Don't surprise anyone.

Hope you get to live long!

They're ashamed of your illiteracy

It's amazing how something that ought to be a blessing (inheritances of any sizeable value are not common) becomes a horrifying curse for everyone involved. I've seen inheritances completely destroy families. My own father has explicitly threatened to disinherit me as leverage in disagreements. Luckily, I've punched my own ticket in life and am indifferent to receiving an inheritance so I refuse to be manipulated, but I'm always astounded by how icky people can be about money. Truly despicable.

My cousins father died after owning a gas station in an urban area where they no longer allow gas stations due to tighter zoning laws.

My cousins mother and his father divorced but my cousin worked at the gas station for years.

After his father died his current wife sold the gas station for over a million dollars.

His father had always told his wife if she ever sold the place to "take care of his son"

I think she got 1.5 million and she sent him check for $10,000.

Hurt isn't a strong enough word for how he felt.

Her two kids got big homes.

Will's are recorded at the county level. Take a lunch hour, go downtown and request a copy of the will. Nobody in your family has to know about it.

seems there is a possibility you were screwed over by your father. he sounds like a piece of work.

A LOT seems off here.

Bad Wigins wrote:

Very sad stories so far of backward medieval-era court opinions.

Louisiana remains the only US state to practice the enlightened Napoleonic code, which abolished the right of parents to disinherit their children.

Do you ever post anything that is not stupid?

Ever?

90s Guy wrote:

None of us deserve a dime from anyone else unless we worked for it. Being related to someone is not working for it.

Define "worked for it"

I had something similar happen where all of my siblings were named in a will, and I was not (very clearly out of spite). My siblings decided it wasn't right and pooled part of their shares into a share for me. I was grateful, and I would've done the same for them.

Perhaps the issue is more with your immediate family (sisters and father), and not so much with your grandmother.

Real Obvi wrote:

Bad Wigins wrote:

Very sad stories so far of backward medieval-era court opinions.

Louisiana remains the only US state to practice the enlightened Napoleonic code, which abolished the right of parents to disinherit their children.

Do you ever post anything that is not stupid?

Ever?

Try always. That's why people have to reach back more than a year to claim I'm wrong about even one thing.

Look into it and weep. Napoleonic code requires a substantial minimum inheritance to all biological children. Can't cut them out!

Common law inheritance is rooted in backward medieval customs, along the lines of the eldest gets the farm, second gets funds to become a merchant, and third goes to the monastery.

Bad Wigins wrote:

Real Obvi wrote:

Do you ever post anything that is not stupid?

Ever?

Try always. That's why people have to reach back more than a year to claim I'm wrong about even one thing.

Look into it and weep. Napoleonic code requires a substantial minimum inheritance to all biological children. Can't cut them out!

Common law inheritance is rooted in backward medieval customs, along the lines of the eldest gets the farm, second gets funds to become a merchant, and third goes to the monastery.

So, more stupidity from you. Good job!

Too stupid to realize that the idea of the state mandating how parents leave their inheritance is moronic. Too stupid to realize that that was what was stupid in your earlier post (not whether or not the idea was in the Napoleonic Code).

So again, has there ever been a time when you posted something that was not stupid?

Ever?

Real Obvi wrote:

Bad Wigins wrote:

Very sad stories so far of backward medieval-era court opinions.

Louisiana remains the only US state to practice the enlightened Napoleonic code, which abolished the right of parents to disinherit their children.

Do you ever post anything that is not stupid?

Ever?

Agree

Also op, inheritances destroy family relationships. I hope your family comes together - good luck.

^ This is exactly what I did with my parents, we talked it through, which they were reluctant to do. In the end, I didn't take a share of their modest estate because I didn't need it, but my siblings did. They paid off their mortgages and improved their retirement finances. My siblings are financially responsible, just not big earners. My parents, dirt poor growing up, would be pleased with how much their small house sold for and that it paid off those mortgages.

just came back wrote:

Real Obvi wrote:

Do you ever post anything that is not stupid?

Ever?

Agree

Also op, inheritances destroy family relationships. I hope your family comes together - good luck.

I just found out, and actually my dad ran me off the phone after he told me, kinda like he slipped up saying it. He said he had to take a call on the other line. That was yesterday afternoon. I already was having issues with some of his behaviors and my sister's too, but this took things to another level. What sticks in my mind is that he complained due to Covid he wasn't getting his rent money on that property, and was losing out on all that money, but now l found out he doesn't even own it. Not to mention all the years he made it seems as if it was his property. And my 2 siblings, l mean, they were actually mad my step kids got 2k to split while they had MILLIONS coming their way, and my sister was already sitting in a 650k home she had already been given from my grandmother. What gets me too is my dad acting like he was helping me many years ago with a little money, when it was actually coming out my "little something " that my grandmother left me.

My Dad asked me if he could write me out of his will because I’m much better off financially than either of my brothers (or my Dad, for that matter). I told him no because I was the only one with kids and who knows what could happen in the future. But it’s his money to do with what he wants.

My brother and I have a Spaulding from "Caddyshack" deal-you will get nothing and you will like it.

It worked out for the best. I suspect the estate will all go to his much younger wife. Dad is 84 and my Mom is already dead and ended up with nothing.

The guy is like a bad version of Donald Trump. Massive Gold Coast of Chicago apartment, several clubs, several hundred thousand dollars car-all this at 84!

The problem for him is that we know him well. Debt is not a four-letter word for him and at 84 he has a mortgage! Add to this other hidden liabilities, tax liens, car leases, various off-balance-sheet entities and I suspect that not a lot will be left. His motto has always been other people's money.

When his dad, my grandfather died, he was the executor and kept the estate from his other two siblings. He liquidated the estate, invested all of it, levered it, and was going to use the proceeds to pay back his siblings -eventually-if all went to plan. My brother, an attorney gets a call from an aunt pointing out the situation. A few letters from my brother's trust attorney's friends, and boom, the money is suddenly released. My brother and I are in Dad's doghouse once again, as I knew about it and didn't warn him.

I feel I should warn his young wife about the storm of liabilities that will hit her upon his death, but she would assume that it is just my brother and me pounding our dishonest Dad one more time.

Just a bad guy. Forced us to run as kids to fulfill his unfilled dreams. Beat us. Beat Mom. Claimed he was in the Rome Olympics. All my brother and I have ever found in the college press is a crappy college 8:26 two-mile relay time back in 1959. If he was Olympic material, his teammates must have been very slow.

Would not pay for college and offended many of the coaches recruiting us with his money talk. My college coach disliked him and he wouldn't allow me to go back home in the summer! Looking back, I thought this was odd, but he cared about me.

The good in all this? Any sane person would not spend a minute worrying about the estate of someone who has no bequest motive. Perhaps it is healthy just to make your own way. It is very freeing.

It sounds like she didn't leave you anything if you are a grown man and your father is running around spending it.

You also sound kind of dumb so maybe that is why she didn't leave you anything.

Inheritance is dumb. Maybe we can tax it out of existence or something.