"Top" Colorado Runner....

How did he come up with this stuff. Hilarious. Pure genious. Good luck dude!

I'm not sure which is funnier, the grammatical error in your screen name or the irony of your dumb ass spelling genius wrong.

.... wrote:

If you are running a 5 hour marathon, you have not prepared for that marathon. The race itself is not everything.

God damn...are you really this stupid? There's a whole world of people out there who train as hard as they can and still have troubles running say, a nine minute mile. For those people, running a 5:00 thon (11:26 pace), not bad.

Probably 99% of runners don't ever even break 6:00 for the mile. If you can run a sub-5:00 min/mile, you have rare talent. Trust me on this.

shut up f**. if you can break 5 you don't have any sort of rare talent except you aren't a fat ass lazy american eating hot dogs and pizza on the couch watching your favorite reality tv show - i could name a 1000 people that do that and still broke 5 for the mile even. go back to runnersworld forums and stop ego-boosting letsrun's armchair sub 5 minute know-it-all crowd.

You guys are half-right. This is both sad and pathetic, but it has absolutely nothing to do with some kid and a sponsorship. It has everything to do with a collection of sad, sad individuals scarred by the overwhelming daily realization that their greatest "accomplishments" in life are alltogether meaningless. You people define yourselves by hours, minutes, and seconds; and from there all determinations of value and self-worth are dictated.

So the kid runs a 19 minute 5K but you go sub-17? I've got news for you: You, my friend, also suck. Yup, it's true. You're awful. And even worse, nobody cares about your 16:28 PR. That's right. Crazy as it sounds, your personal best is just as irrelevant as this kids, or Oprahs, or anyone elses...And should you ever forget just has slow and irrelevant you really are, I would hope that those faster than you will be there to remind you -- as you have all so vehemently reminded this kid -- so you don't commit the indefensible sin of stepping out from your pace-dictated "place" in life. Or at lest on this forum.

Why should any of you care if the kid wants sponsorship? Is he taking away opportunities from you, the 16 minute 5K guy? No, as best I can tell, you're both equally slow, only he's more creative and motivated.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you guys are fated to a life of constant and undying mediocrity. I'm sorry that your last bastion of self-esteem comes from bashing someone that finished two places behind you in your age group, because he wants to step out and try something new. I'm sorry that you think the things you write are O.K. because your pathetic sentiments are shared by the other undeniably average runners on this forum.

And kid, whatever your intention was, I hope you learned someting from this. Before you ever dare to step out on a limb in life, make sure you seek the approval of every scared, sad, unappreciated superstar out there before you do. You want to make sure that they have made peace with their own shortcomings, so the pain inflicted when you acheive something they have not, while all the while being GASP...slower!!!...then they are, does not motivate an impassioned response like you've seen on this forum.

Good luck, kid. I hope you get that sponsorship.

the other thing is wrote:

shut up f**. if you can break 5 you don't have any sort of rare talent except you aren't a fat ass lazy american eating hot dogs and pizza on the couch watching your favorite reality tv show - i could name a 1000 people that do that and still broke 5 for the mile even. go back to runnersworld forums and stop ego-boosting letsrun's armchair sub 5 minute know-it-all crowd.

When you've grown up a bit, you'll understand.

Go to any local road race with an open mind and you'll see what I mean.

"i could name a 1000 people that do that and still broke 5 for the mile even"

Ok, go ahead and name them.

99% of 4:00-5:00 marathoners don't put in more than 6 hours per week for training, while 2:30 marathoners put in at least twice that much. Total that up for at least 8 months (at least for the 2:30 marathoners, though it's probably more like 3 or 4 months for the 4:00-5:00 marathoners) and you'll see that the faster person may expend less effort on race day, but has in the BIG PICTURE put forth more energy to run his marathon (which started long before race day and long before most of the slow pokes ever thought about running a marathon) and has performed the more difficult task. Overall, from the very beginning of marathon preparations through the finish line, the much slower runner has expended dramatically less energy towards his marathon performance, has not put in all the difficult training runs in 13-session week after 13-session week.

Give me a call son, we'll talk.

I have improved the lives of hundreds of children and trained dozens of state chamions (Over thirty on my team last year)

Ok there's an example...we're not making fun of this guy because he's bad or because he wants to make money through a sponsorship...we're making fun of him because he is STUPID!!! Look at this sentence...it makes no sense..i have trained dozens of state champions...and i've had over thirty state champions on my team last year...i mean WTF!!!?!?! are you retarded?...who is goingto believe that?...only an idiot...it's not possible to have thirty state champions on your one team in 1 year...impossible...sooo in conclusion..this guy isn't slow...or wrong about getting sponsorships...he is an all around moron..

peace out my runnin' brothers!

btw i support you as a runner and a person who loves to run..but when it comes to being smart...you're just terrible...you pretend to sound smart though i'll give you that...w/e..good luck with your injury aaaaand hope you find/fix yourself

I'm sure your potential "sponsors" would love to hear about how seriously you would take "getting on the medal stand" for them.

And yes, you did falsify your resume by claiming that some sponsor, even a small mom and pop store is going to get decent exposure by you placing third, second, or even first in your age group at one of these local races. There aren't "thousands" of spectators waiting to see you come up in your singelet to accept your medal after a race. 30 to 50 perhaps... I don't think most people here have a problem with your times (I don't, I don't care how slow or fast you are), but many run the same type of races as you and understand the disingenuous nature of your claims.

Dear Johnny,

Before you go and call me a moron, you should do your homework. First off, this is not a high school team that we are talking about, it is a youth team that runs in the Colorado Association of Reacreational Activities. My team from North Jeffco Recreation district has over 250 athletes making it the largest in the state. The age divisions are 5-6, 7-8, 9-10, 11-12, 13-14, 15-16, factor that across a dozen or so events and you and having both a boys and girls division and not only is it possible to have thirty state champions, we did it, much to the chagrin of every other agency in the state.

now who is the moron?

-Ben

I really have a problem with your post. What is wrong with being proud of one\'s PERSONAL achievements. I don\'t stop to think of myself in the grand scheme of things too often, it\'s much too depressing. Instead I set achievable goals and run for myself. I wouldn\'t take away anyone\'s right to consider themself a \"good\" runner. Who am I to do this? Who are you? There is no way to quantify \"good\", am I good compared to Ethiopians or Kenyans? Am I even good compared to the best Americans? No. Am I good compared to the majority of the 6+ billion people inhabiting the earth? Most definitely. From your post it\'s as if the concept of an ego is entirely foreign to you.

Alright buddy, I'm assuming you were both serious with the eBay posting and your responses so far. If not, congratulations on getting all these people riled up and getting it linked on the front page. I would be willing to bet that very few of the people posting here have ever done anything worth being linked to on the front page, (although I doubt they'd want to be for something like this, unless you are indeed trolling).

Now, as has been pointed out several times and I will once again do, you have completely mis-represented yourself. Although what you say often has a seed of truth, you completely spin it to make it sound a whole lot more marketable than it really is. A 39:16 10k is whatever it means to the runner. If it is a huge PR, if it is something that has been worked very hard for, and it means reaching a goal, then that's great. I don't think that most people want to take that away from you and many people can and should consider that a personal success. But to say that you "shattered the 40 min. barrier" makes it sound like you actually did something that is difficult for runners to do and will thus gain you and your potential sponsor a high profile. In the whole scheme of things, that is a terrible time, there is no 40 min barrier except one's own very personal barrier. To say that you beat 44,000 people is quite the embellishment also. So you beat all those tens of thousands of people who come out to boulder to celebrate memorial day by taking a scenic walk or jog through boulder with kids in tow? You beat thousands of other people that are hung-over from the night before as you have mentioned you have done, you beat the thousands of other people who have not run one step in 10 years and want to see what they can still run in a fun social environment. Who did you really beat? Some of you guys defending this stud are calling out his critics as being elitists because they think their 17:30 5k gives them the right to rip him? Mr. Hershelman is no different by making his very suspect and questionable claim of being better than "99% of the population of colorado." So now you are including in your list of who you are better than all the hundreds of thousands of Coloradoans out there who don't even know that running is a competitive sport?

Now, your list of high finishes in 5ks that "goes on and on." You fail to mention that probably very few people in the running community of Colorado, which your sponsor will undoubtably be trying to reach, have ever even heard of these 5ks. But yes, I suppose your list could go "on and on." Yes, I know it is not your job to advertise if there is someone better down the road, but come on, how far are you going to go to try and spin this? The one 5k time you list, (which I'm suprised isn't preceeded with a "18 minute barrier" comment) is on a completely down-hill course.

-Why not list your other times on a legitimate 5k course?

-Thousands of people at elementary school and middle school rec. club track meets?

-"My name will get called in front of a large group of people."?! Define large please.

-"I will do my best to be photographed winning for local running publications, whatever." Come on, are you really trying to convince your potential sponsor that people are going to photograph you for your performances?

-"By winning this auction, you are buying a piece of a proven winner." Hey, I'm all for self belief, but come on, A) what have you won? B)What, if any information you have provided, has proven anything about this statement?

I'm all for personal accomplishment and one's PR's and hard work being an individual's barometer of success. It is pretty sad when 17:00 5kers rip on anyone who is slower than them, but please don't make this guy out to be a martyr for the mediocre joggers everywhere berated by the elitest 17 minute 5kers. This guy is on his knees begging for it by knowingly trying to mislead anyone into thinking he is a "top colorado runner." I'm happy that you share our passion and that you work hard for that passion and your goals, but please, don't fool yourself into thinking it means anything to anyone other than you.

touche...

you are right, breaking 40 minutes, not a big deal, considering that the year before I ran 42 minutes and a few years before that I was running 55 minutes. I am as "elite" as a sponsor believes me to be. I ran one marathon almost 2 years ago, blew out my knee on the 20th mile and took almost two hours to finish the last six miles. I should not have been trying to run a marathon at age twenty anyway. I apologize to the millions and millions of super awesome elite runners whom I have offended. Has this blog changed anything for me? Not really. I am pushing harder now, thats about it. you are all great motivation.

thanks for that,

Ben

woody wrote:

The auction has ended citing the following :

The seller ended this listing early because the item was lost or broken.

what does this mean? how can an intangible sponsorship item be "lost or broken?"

Dude,

Can you at least figure out how to ratate you photo?

Elite wrote:

Dude,

Can you at least figure out how to ratate you photo?

make that rotate......

turn yor head, lazy! ;-)